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Feeling unwelcome?

post #1 of 30
Thread Starter 

I'm currently on a trip, staying 5 nights and skiing 4 days in Wausau, Wisconsin. I'm alone, but last year I was here with a girlfriend and had an ok time. I'm at the same property I stayed at before, skiing the same slopes, going out in town for supper and being polite and pleasant. However, I feel fantastically unwelcome from all non-servers at the hill / out in town. WTF?

 

I'm the kind of guy who says "Thank you" every time I get on a lift. I tip well, I'm polite, I try to engage people in conversation. As of today, I wish I could cut my trip short and go home. Even the skiing has become 'not fun' because all I can think about is being unwanted.  I don't get it. It's not like I have purple hair and wear shirts that say "Rape children". I'm clean cut, polite, quiet, and modestly dressed. I don't get it. Any insight?

 

post #2 of 30

Are you really skinny?  As someone born and raised in Wisconsin, I get looked at like I am from another planet when I go back there because I am on the slim side.  It is a weird form of discrimination, but my wife and I completely stopped the conversation in a large room when we walked into a wedding reception in a small Wisconsin town.  I could not have felt any more conspicuous if I had been of another race.  Generally, Wisconsinites are very friendly.

post #3 of 30

My guess is the resort staff is really beat after the Christmas rush but they should perk up and try harder.   I don't think i've ever felt bad like that on a holiday.  Have you checked if they have mountain Hosts (people that take you on a tour or ski with you), friends of the mountain, that idea that you can go ski once or twice a day?  Might make it feel a little more upbeat and maybe they can get the lifties to perk up and do their job.  It's not really a lifty's job to entertain you but they should all be pleasant and chatty to help make any holiday nice.  I might mention something like that to management, maybe there's a morale problem for some reason, seems odd everyone would be down.

post #4 of 30
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mudfoot View Post

Are you really skinny?  As someone born and raised in Wisconsin, I get looked at like I am from another planet when I go back there because I am on the slim side.  It is a weird form of discrimination, but my wife and I completely stopped the conversation in a large room when we walked into a wedding reception in a small Wisconsin town.  I could not have felt any more conspicuous if I had been of another race.  Generally, Wisconsinites are very friendly.


Actually, I am big but fit. 46" chest, 38" waist, 6'2", 225lbs. Blonde, pale, like beer. I should be fine.

 

I agree with you that Wisconsinites are friendly...to the point that I want(ed?) to move to New Glarus to open the distillery I want to build. I love it up here...people are typically nicer; down-to-earth; more practical. When people ask me where I'm from, I respond, "I'm from Chicago, but I'm not a jerk," typically to big laughs. I know the stereotypes. I just don't get it. Even the people in Eagle River / Rhinelander were nicer when I was there over the summer. I just don't get it.

 

Maybe it's me. I just haven't felt right lately. This was supposed to be a relaxing ski vacation before I went back to school. I didn't even want to go to the hill this morning. I don't get it.

post #5 of 30

Try re-posting this on TGR, they might have some suggestions. 

post #6 of 30

Try the NY approach and stop being so nice.  Give em a rash of shit and see if that gets their attention.

post #7 of 30

Without the girl friend accompanying you, they are afraid you will take off with one of their women; the male female ratio is bad enough as it is.  wink.gif

post #8 of 30

 Or maybe the presence of the lady friend on the last trip masked the same kind of behavior you're experiencing now????

post #9 of 30

savoir faire

you are probably a closet case.... call a therapist.... obviously you do not know the definition of your screen name.

re-read your posts.... 

try a new screen name like A - Wipe.....

post #10 of 30
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kneale Brownson View Post

 Or maybe the presence of the lady friend on the last trip masked the same kind of behavior you're experiencing now????



That may be. I travel a lot by motorcycle, usually solo. I've found that when alone, you're a lot more approachable than with a group. Ofttimes with a group, you miss out on those local interactions. That being said, I'm a big subscriber to the 'social proof' concept, where people are more accepting when you're already been accepted by another. An example of this is if you want to attract single women, go out with one of your female friends for drinks. Women automatically think you're worthwhile due to the fact that another woman has already accepted you. Sounds crazy, but true.

 

I think I'll just sleep on it. I have one more day of skiing, one more night of sleep, then home. We shall see how it plays out.

post #11 of 30

Wow dude. Your truly unique.

post #12 of 30

I was right..... classic closet case........

post #13 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ghost View Post

Without the girl friend accompanying you, they are afraid you will take off with one of their women; the male female ratio is bad enough as it is.  wink.gif


Bingo! If you're young or old enough, you get a pass. If you're a single man of a certain age you're an odd fit and probably are viewed as a threat.

 

Pray tell, are you there to steal their women?  ;-)
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by chrisandy View Post

savoir faire

you are probably a closet case.... call a therapist.... obviously you do not know the definition of your screen name.

re-read your posts.... 

try a new screen name like A - Wipe.....


That's kinda mean-spirited, but it did make me laugh out loud.

post #14 of 30
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kneale Brownson View Post

 Or maybe the presence of the lady friend on the last trip masked the same kind of behavior you're experiencing now????

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ghost View Post

Without the girl friend accompanying you, they are afraid you will take off with one of their women; the male female ratio is bad enough as it is.  wink.gif
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by jc-ski View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ghost View Post

Without the girl friend accompanying you, they are afraid you will take off with one of their women; the male female ratio is bad enough as it is.  wink.gif


Bingo! If you're young or old enough, you get a pass. If you're a single man of a certain age you're an odd fit and probably are viewed as a threat.

 

Pray tell, are you there to steal their women?

 

Never thought of that. Maybe I do seem predatory. You guys are probably right; it's likely something simple like that.

post #15 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by SavoirFaire View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by chrisandy View Post

savoir faire

you are probably a closet case.... call a therapist.... obviously you do not know the definition of your screen name.

re-read your posts.... 

try a new screen name like A - Wipe.....


 

Nice to see that bigotry still reigns when no one is face-to-face. I hope your son or daughter turns out to be a homosexual, just so you can learn a lesson about how people are people no matter what their orientation. I'm sure you like to drop the n-word but are too weak to say it when someone who could kick your ass is in earshot.

 

The definition of my screen name would loosely translate as "always (knowing) the right thing to say". Alternatively, it would be the nickname of one of my favorite hockey players.

 

Arguing on the internet is like running in the Special Olympics. Even if you win, you're still fucking retarded. Thanks for your insight though. Sure is nice knowing what I don't want to know! =)



Now that statement is is truly worthy of some TGR stick.

post #16 of 30

T R O L L I N G ...................................................................................................

post #17 of 30

I've been to Wausau.  Why would anyone spend 5 nights and 4 days skiing there?th_dunno-1[1].gif

post #18 of 30

Does the color yellow make you sad?

post #19 of 30

jackwagon.bmp

post #20 of 30

Finally the correct question is asked!  My guess is that you are not feeling unwelcome, but a sever case of BOREDOM! 
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by mtcyclist View Post

I've been to Wausau.  Why would anyone spend 5 nights and 4 days skiing there?th_dunno-1[1].gif

post #21 of 30

Another possible alternative to the very probable situation about the protection of local womenfolk, and this often happens to me, is that someone may dislike something that you're wearing, dislike your choice of equipment, etc...

 

If you ski in leathers, for example, you'll get dirty looks from know it all outdoorsy types, who think you're dumb for not wearing excessive mountaineering gear at a resort.  If you rock straight super-G skis, especially older ones, and aren't wearing a racing suit then all the trendy post-90's gearheads (sorry all but it's the truth) will give you grief.

 

It doesn't seem like that's the case in your situation.  It really seems like it's fear for their females.  But those are both common reasons to get dirty looks, at least here in NE where everyone is obsessed with having the latest gear, as if it makes them better skiers, which of course, it doesn't, as if there were something wrong with the ski design that's lasted 10,000 years, which of course, there isn't.

post #22 of 30

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post #23 of 30

"Welcome" to epic SavoirFaire.  You've gotten off to a quite auspicious start.  Besides starting a thread asking a question that none of us could possibly know the answer to, nor really understand how and why you'd ask us this - you respond to a fairly mild comment about posting the question on TGR in an insulting, obscene and rude way.

 

Then later on in your attempt to defend yourself you make an incredibly insensitive comment about people in the Special Olympics -  right after criticizing someone for bigotry (which I didn't see them expressing.)

 

Don't know why you're feeling unwelcome in Wisconsin, but you certainly haven't ingratiated yourself here.

 

post #24 of 30
To the OP: Assuming your post is genuine, have you considered that you might be trying too hard with the rituals of politeness and that that can come across as fake or not to be trusted? Especially if the folks there can sense frustration or lack of genuine pleasure underneath?

I don't dispute your concept of:
Quote:
Originally Posted by SavoirFaire View Post

That being said, I'm a big subscriber to the 'social proof' concept, where people are more accepting when you're already been accepted by another.

I suggest that you add to it: "People like people who have fun and show it."
post #25 of 30

this wreaks of someone with an alias..........  did someone check the IP on this?

post #26 of 30

I don't know if this is the lamest or indirectly funniest thread yet

 

Hmmm, bored skiing in wisconsin-how could that be?

 

I think your girlfriend is skiing in Utah. biggrin.gif

 

Honestly, I can't believe the OP is sincere (slow day at the trolling office?).

 

In the off chance that this is a real sentiment and not a troll thread,  and somewhere on the snowy flat slopes of the midwest sits a lonely, giant ex-marine typing away on his ipad looking for a consoling cyber voice:

 

Are you on vacation to ski or to make friends with the resort help??  I've never put much stock in how 'friendly' resort folk (visitors or employees) are--I mostly care how efficient they are at their jobs.  If the Liftie is handling the loading well, I could care less if he wishes me a 'Top of the Morning, Governor' everytime we make eye contact.  If parking lot guy is ably directing the lines so coming and going is easy, I'm happy even if he doesn't high-five me as I pull my skis out of my trunk.  If ticket selling girl goes hands me a lift ticket and completed credit card slip within 32 seconds of beginning that transaction I'm stoked, even if she doesn't inquire where I'm from and what's it like t live there.  If youngster on the lift with me wants to listen to Korn on his  Ipod instead discussing the cool graphics on my skis-that's great, too as long as he doesn't cross tips with me when we exit the lift.   

 

Really, who takes solo skiing trips to Wisconsin and carps on not feeling wanted by the locals?

 

 

post #27 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by SkiMangoJazz View Post
 in your attempt to defend yourself you make an incredibly insensitive comment about people in the Special Olympics

 

And clearly displayed his homphobia.nonono2.gif

post #28 of 30
So, Liam, how about those graphics on your skis?
post #29 of 30

Well, they are pretty damn cool...

post #30 of 30

How could you possibly be bored in Wisconsin? 

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