Have done this road trip, so lets start in Spokane:
lst stop 2hrs north Red Mt. pretty decent cruisers on piste for the wife and kids, really good tree skiing for you and plentry challenging. Check their website, nice places to stay. OR
lst stop north/east to Schweitzer, good resort except for fog, can get mighty foggy on the front side at times, good lodging slopeside, cat skiing avail, great park, excellent beginner area and lots of groomers that wife will love, long and smooth off Stella Chair. On slope lunch on backside at the bottom of Stella 6 pack chair is really good, baked potatoes with whatever you want.
2nd Fernie about 2 hrs from Schweitzer, great lodging slopeside. I loved Fernie some really great tree skiing in Lizard Bowl, good powder, long runs but in my opinion it would be harder here to keep the family together. If you are a bump skier theres a lot of really good steep bumps
3rd day drive to Invermere and ski Panorama. this resort has awesome condos right on the snow either huge hut tubs and pools, the kids will love it. 4,000 foot vertical intermediate groomers every where and not crowded. Wife and I loved it, wide open great grooming and go as fast as you want. For you Taynton Bowl, short easy ski/hike out the ridge and plenty of expert tree and off piste for your.
NEXT: Depending on how you go up and come gack can stop in Whitefish and ski there, open groomers galore and some good off piste in the glades if snow is good. Or you can hit Whitefish on the way up and Schweitzer on the way back to Spokane, either way.
Really thinks with wife and 2 kids, I would scratch Revelstoke and Kicking Horse and stick to Schweitzer etc. Want feedback on Whitefish, ask Sibhusky she lives there. Red, Panorama, Fernie and whitefish all have excellent websites so you can take a look. If you don't want to drive a lot. There is nothing wrong with a day at 49 Degrees North (good glade skiing), Silver Mt. powder skiing at 2 in the pm.
Anyway just my 2 cents worth. Have a great time Pete