I hear what you're saying. A few years ago, I got back into skiing and am now skiing about 35 days per year. Based on your 20 yr hiatus and the age of your kids, we're probably the same age too (which causes other problems !) I too, have been playing hockey and the hockey influence combined with 'old school' style skiing from the 'straight ski' days caused me to ski much too aggressively. I was exerting way to much energy to make turns down the hill. I decided to take lessons to get my performance level up, but unfortunately, I ended up with an instructor who never really noticed what I was doing wrong (very aggressive into the start of he turn - a very pronounced 'push' of my legs - hockey influence) so this particular instructor really wasn't much help - find a good instructor if you want to go that route. One of the thing that helped me the most in eliminating the 'hockey habits' was reading the book "Inner Skiing" - did wonders for my skiing!
My first 2 seasons back in skiing, I fought with boots that were too big - so Philpug is right - get properly fitted boots - another huge improvement in my skiing! I don't know Philpug personally, but he does offer good advice on this forum!
My personal recommendation is to demo some skis at the beginning of the season to see what 'feels' good to you. At first, you'll probably find mid-fat skis difficult to get on edge, compared to what you're used to. I started on a waist of 67 mm, and within 2 seasons, went to 78, than 88 and now 94. I really like the fatter waist skis now, and wished I 'got used to them' quicker - they are ideal for BC skiing.
All these things combined have helped my skiing. I thought I was an aggressive skier, but in reality, the aggressiveness came from incorrect technique, some hockey influence, some gear issues. My legs were burning after just a few moderate runs. For me at least, replacing the aggressiveness with a more 'natural balance' technique made skiing a lot easier, faster, increased my ability on more difficult terrain, and enabled me to ski the whole day without burning out my legs.
So, to sum up: Boots by a boot fitter, read "Inner Skiing", demo some mid-fat skis, a few lessons by a good instructor, keep playing hockey - but remember to ski on snow and skate on ice, and finally, if you don't like my advice, no need to bite my head off - just ignore it.