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Colonoscopy humour

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 

A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!'

2.. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'

3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'

4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'

5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'

6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'

7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'

8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'

9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'

10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'

11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'

12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.

13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'

post #2 of 5


Been there.  For point 13, my wife would just say - You men always stick together!

post #3 of 5

A guy goes to his doctor for an annual exam. 


The doctor says, "You are a mess.  I'm going to need a blood sample, urine sample, semen sample and stool sample ASAP."


The guy says, "Doc, take my underwear."

post #4 of 5

14. I think you've reached nirvana.

post #5 of 5

15. Hey doc my brain itches a bit, just a little to the left and youve got it

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