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Jens Voigt is da man.

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 
post #2 of 6

Yeah. A cyclist that I can admire. Sorry Lance.

 

The term "sufferfest" was originally coined to describe Jens' rest days.

Jens Voigt loves the Tour of California, but Californians are not as fond of the earthquakes.

Jens Voigt doesn't read books. He simply attacks until the books relent and tell him everything he wants to know.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jens Voigt jumps out and attacks.

You are what you eat. Jens Voigt eats spring steel for breakfast, fire for lunch, and a mixture of titanium and carbon fiber for dinner. For between-meal snacks he eats men's souls, and downs it with a tall cool glass of The Milk of Human Suffering.

The first time man split the atom was when the atom tried to hold Jens Voigt's wheel, but cracked.

Jens Voigt doesn't complain about what suffering does to him, but suffering constantly complains about getting picked on by Jens Voigt.

Jens cannot quit the Tour de France because the resulting power outage would cripple Western Europe during the crucial summer months.

Jens Voigt nullified the periodic table because he doesn't believe in any element, other than the element of surprise.

If Jens Voigt was a planet, he'd be the World of Hurt.
Jens Voigt doesn't know where you live, but he knows exactly where you will die.


Edited by WILDCAT - 7/31/10 at 9:28am
post #3 of 6

He is pretty amazing, isn't he?

post #4 of 6
Thread Starter 

 

Jens Voigt doesn't get road rash, the road gets Jen's rash

Jens Voigt crashed spectacularly during the 2009 Tour de France. The resulting impact created a mound of earth that is visible to this day. It is called "Col du Tourmalet"

Jens Voigt will never have a heart attack. Jens Voigt's heart isn't stupid enough to attack him

post #5 of 6

If Jens, Chuck Norris, and Bob Peters had lunch together, who would pick up the check?

post #6 of 6
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Virtus_Probi View Post

If Jens, Chuck Norris, and Bob Peters had lunch together, who would pick up the check?


there would be no check, as they would have eaten the waiter for the protein.

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