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Lawyer Joke

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 

The grammar ain't the best---but,



Did you hear the story about the engineer who died and stood before St. Peter at the pearly gates?


So St. Peter looked in his book and told the engineer that he was at the wrong place, told him he had to go down to where the red door was. So the engineer walked down to the red door and opened it and ended up in hell.


Well as he was down there looking around he decided to make some improvements, as engineers usually try to do, and the next thing you know they got hot and cold running water, up and down escalators, flush toilets, etc. He was working on getting air-conditioning put in down there when God decided to give Satan a call to see how things were going on down there.


Satan said things are doing real great.We have hot and cold running water, flush toilets, up and down escalators, and the engineer we have is getting ready to set us up with some air conditioning, well God wasn't too happy about that and told Satan that a mistake had been made and that he wanted him to send that engineer back.


Satan said no way am I going to do that, God said you send him back or else I'll sue you.


Satan laughed and said, and just where are you going to get a lawyer......?

post #2 of 6

Hehe, thats a good one. Whenever I hear the word lawyer I always have to think of the following proverb:


"99 percent of all lawyers give the rest a bad name."


I also know a real joke though that incidentally features the devil as well. Here it goes:


The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I can arrange some things for you, " the devil said. "I'll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you'll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife's soul, your children's souls, and their children's souls rot in hell for eternity." 


The lawyer thought for a moment. "What's the catch?" he asked.

post #3 of 6

So when you get hit by an uninsured skier or driver, call your plumber.

post #4 of 6

A lawyer opens his eyes to discover he is dead and standing before St. Peter. 


"Greetings, we have been expecting you for a long time", says Peter.


"How can this be, I am so young, not yet 35", says the lawyer.


Peter laughs and looks to his book.  "Oh no, according to your billing hours, you are 126 years old."

post #5 of 6


post #6 of 6

Funny!! ;)

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