I don't want to get into all the details about how I've had chronic low self-esteem, discouraging parents and coaches in the past, etc, etc. I want to get over all that crap and finally just do it.
In any case, watching these Winter Olympics has made me realize that I need to just face myself, cast all my fears by the wayside and go for my dream. It's far, far too painful watching these athletes do what I know I could also be doing but not because I've been too afraid to reach for the stars.
Basically... I've been a recreational moguls and cross country skier for a long time now, but what I really want is to take it to the next level. My parents know nothing about sports and have never encouraged me to take it further, but I don't just want to do this. I NEED to. I can no longer live with myself just sitting around letting my life pass me by. I don't want to be the best, I just want to be as best as I possibly can be, with the ambition of someday competing at the highest possible level. And even if I cant make it, I won't be able to live with myself not knowing I haven't tried my absolute hardest. I have absolutely no interest in any other occupation- my half-hearted attempts at learning various instruments have fallen by the wayside because I don't really want it, and I'm cutting short my current post-secondary education because it gives me about as much personal satisfaction as banging my head repeatedly against a wall.
There are great athletes who haven't even became involved in their sport until their late teens. If they can do it, so can I. I just really need some help with pointing myself in the right direction. If you're going to tell me I'm too old, that I can't do it, I'm wasting my time, I'm deluded, etc.. save your keystrokes. I've been hearing all that my entire life, and I really don't care.
SO... now that the essay is done with, what I would like to know is if there are any programs or training available for adults in Ontario looking to seriously compete in moguls skiing. I'm not very good, but that's why I want to train. If anyone could point me in the right direction or recommend something or someone to me, I would really appreciate it.