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What's the Best Revenge for ...

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 
... the loud, obnoxious, flailing, buffoon in front of you in the lift line, who just stabbed you with his pole while trying to signal to an acquaintance?

I have always found that waiting till he is next to load, skiing up behind him in the line and using a double-eject/pole maneuver works wonders on my frame of mind for the rest of the day. The maneuver is simple: as he waits for the chair to come around the bull wheel, you insert your pole tips into his binding release arms. As he begins to step forward to move into loading position, you press firmly on the binding releases. The usual result is he topples onto his face right there in front of everyone.

Double style points are awarded if you barge right over him to make the next chair even while he picks up his gear and tries to make sense of what happened.

Triple style points if the chair clips his head resulting in the need for ski patrol and an Akje ride to the first aide shack.

Certainly, you may miss a chair or two, but it is well worth it.

post #2 of 8
You could take the offending pole away, and toss it outside of the lift maze, requiring said offendor to exit the lift line.

Another possibility would be the demarkation of your unique signature upon the topsheets of the offendor's skis. But as mentioned in the other thread, they would need to be new. Although very sharp pole tips also make nice ski-deck stamps.

And yet a third possibility would be to combine my first suggestion with your original suggestion, and execute a double binding release, and huck the skis out of the lift maze. If you didn't feel like throwing them (if you are in the middle of a crowded maze), you could just pick up the ski, hand it to the guy behind you, and say "pass it on".

Just thought of another, which is similar to your suggestion, but a lot less noticable to possibly irritable lift attendants and other skiers who may become enraged at you if they saw you perform the double ejection move: 1) Just after the group in front of the offendor slides out to load, place you ski poles behind the heel pieces of the offendor's skis. 2)Then, just before the chair passes in front of him, gently nudge him into the path of the chair. 3)Watch the fun begin!
post #3 of 8
If you can get one of your skis between his (assuming it is a male), then slide it far enough forward so that it is level with, or slightly ahead of his bindings.
Then, in all innocence, lift your ski tip up quickly. This should make him acutely aware of your presence. If that doesn't work, claim to be part of "a well armed militia", and shoot him.

post #4 of 8
pick up the skiier and his skis and the offending pole and throw the whole lot out of the lift area, then say your arnold with a european accent and no one will say a word to you(or just tell the lift opperator that he's next)

[ January 24, 2003, 06:11 AM: Message edited by: funkybob ]
post #5 of 8
Of course all this must be done while out of uniform. At least here on my mountain. Because if I were to do as you suggest, I would be looking for a job. Although, it would be kinda fun!------------ [img]tongue.gif[/img] Wigs
post #6 of 8
in a nice calm voice call him a F$^@**&^ idiot and smile

post #7 of 8
...in a nice Northern Ireland accent, tell him he's got 5 minutes to clear the area...

post #8 of 8
Thread Starter 
Originally posted by Wear the fox hat:
...in a nice Northern Ireland accent, tell him he's got 5 minutes to clear the area...


On your side of the pond that would work like a charm. Over here, however, the myriad lift line cattle would look at you, low and proceed to tramp all over your skis, thinking you were some kind of alien or something.

JohnH, as for lifties caring about what you do to patrons in the lift line, you must ski at a much more civilized place than I. Our lifties are only worried about how cold they are and how much longer they have at station. They could careless about the goings on in the lift line.

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