New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

What is a "Gaper"? - Page 6

Poll Results: Gaper is...

This is a multiple choice poll
  • 22% of voters (12)
    1.someone who has a gap between their hat...
  • 18% of voters (10)
    2. Guaranteed accident prone...
  • 13% of voters (7)
    3. Someone who loves to look at scenery....
  • 45% of voters (24)
    4. Anyone who p*ss*s me off on the slopes
53 Total Votes  
post #151 of 168
new kind of gaper conversation on the chair, overheard by joining the group from the singles line, which I hate. Can a person un-hear this stuff, or block the ear pads on a helmet somehow?:

5 minutes of bragging about winning comps in France (female extreme skier-gaper) and how Jackson Hole is so bad ass, compared to Squaw, that they don't even ski everything in Jackson (or in Squaw judging by the line they ended up skiing), and in general a running monologue of un-verifiable greatness from the distant past (I figure as none of the names rang a bell).

At first I attempted social behavior: Oh, France, cool, so have you seen the documentary about the Petersons.

gaper -extreme dude: uh, no, who are the Petersons.

never mind, I just thought you followed the sport, bein' in France an' all.

gaper extreme dude:I don't follow, I lead.

Oh, god, let this ride end soon.

Then 6 minutes of catalogueing their injuries: mcl this, acl that, cartilege this, steel pins that, a whole list that will justify skiing the blue runs should anyone notice they don't live up to billing.

total gaper stuff, and sprorting the best of gear and clothing to veil  their myth.
post #152 of 168
 You should open a "Cool School" so everyone can assimilate

Quote:
Originally Posted by davluri View Post

new kind of gaper conversation on the chair, overheard by joining the group from the singles line, which I hate. Can a person un-hear this stuff, or block the ear pads on a helmet somehow?:

5 minutes of bragging about winning comps in France (female extreme skier-gaper) and how Jackson Hole is so bad ass, compared to Squaw, that they don't even ski everything in Jackson (or in Squaw judging by the line they ended up skiing), and in general a running monologue of un-verifiable greatness from the distant past (I figure as none of the names rang a bell).

At first I attempted social behavior: Oh, France, cool, so have you seen the documentary about the Petersons.

gaper -extreme dude: uh, no, who are the Petersons.

never mind, I just thought you followed the sport, bein' in France an' all.

gaper extreme dude:I don't follow, I lead.

Oh, god, let this ride end soon.

Then 6 minutes of catalogueing their injuries: mcl this, acl that, cartilege this, steel pins that, a whole list that will justify skiing the blue runs should anyone notice they don't live up to billing.

total gaper stuff, and sprorting the best of gear and clothing to veil  their myth.
post #153 of 168
I was dissing them for trying to sound so cool, even to each other, who must have known better.

So how could I say anything about how cool it is to know what cool is without running a risk?

with respect to this story, it came out of the thread on Edge of Never   the film just released about extreme skiing and a family involved.
post #154 of 168
 Im just messin with you.. I always say theolder I get, the batter I was

Quote:
Originally Posted by davluri View Post

I was dissing them for trying to sound so cool, even to each other, who must have known better.

So how could I say anything about how cool it is to know what cool is without running a risk?

with respect to this story, it came out of the thread on Edge of Never   the film just released about extreme skiing and a family involved.
post #155 of 168
yeah, I was way badder, way back when: the jumps were bigger, the lines were steeper, the skis ran faster, back when.....no one can challenge my story, not even me.
post #156 of 168
You gotta give props to the gapers doing it right...the unzipped flapping parka, the too-small wool hat perched high on the head with perfect gaper gap, the jeans tucked into the gray rental boots, the short rental skis,  the hunched over form, and the ski technique of twisting side to side, alternating which side of the body is facing downhill while the direction of the skid changes only slightly if at all. When it all comes together it's a joy to behold...as much a work of art as the flawless bumper.
post #157 of 168
There's a film, Walls of Freedom maybe, where Shane is skiing all gaperish down the hill, flawlessly executing some of the moves you describe, so that you can't even recognize it's him, then he sends it. This he is doing to make some little kids crack up.
post #158 of 168
Quote:
Originally Posted by davluri View Post

new kind of gaper conversation on the chair, overheard by joining the group from the singles line, which I hate. Can a person un-hear this stuff, or block the ear pads on a helmet somehow?:

5 minutes of bragging about winning comps in France (female extreme skier-gaper) and how Jackson Hole is so bad ass, compared to Squaw, that they don't even ski everything in Jackson (or in Squaw judging by the line they ended up skiing), and in general a running monologue of un-verifiable greatness from the distant past (I figure as none of the names rang a bell).

At first I attempted social behavior: Oh, France, cool, so have you seen the documentary about the Petersons.

gaper -extreme dude: uh, no, who are the Petersons.

never mind, I just thought you followed the sport, bein' in France an' all.

gaper extreme dude:I don't follow, I lead.

Oh, god, let this ride end soon.

Then 6 minutes of catalogueing their injuries: mcl this, acl that, cartilege this, steel pins that, a whole list that will justify skiing the blue runs should anyone notice they don't live up to billing.

total gaper stuff, and sprorting the best of gear and clothing to veil  their myth.
They were running a scam on one of the group who was paying their tab.
post #159 of 168
Quote:
Originally Posted by Abox View Post

You gotta give props to the gapers doing it right...the unzipped flapping parka, the too-small wool hat perched high on the head with perfect gaper gap, the jeans tucked into the gray rental boots, the short rental skis,  the hunched over form, and the ski technique of twisting side to side, alternating which side of the body is facing downhill while the direction of the skid changes only slightly if at all. When it all comes together it's a joy to behold...as much a work of art as the flawless bumper.
My personal favorite of the gaper is wearing the lift ticket on the main zipper of the jacket. So when the jacket is zipped up, the lift ticket whacks them in the face when they are skiing. God, that cracks me up. I'm so easily entertained. 
post #160 of 168
It was a Saturday, the gapers come out on Saturdays. Kind of like vampires when it is dark.
Quote:
Originally Posted by davluri View Post

new kind of gaper conversation on the chair, overheard by joining the group from the singles line, which I hate. Can a person un-hear this stuff, or block the ear pads on a helmet somehow?:

5 minutes of bragging about winning comps in France (female extreme skier-gaper) and how Jackson Hole is so bad ass, compared to Squaw, that they don't even ski everything in Jackson (or in Squaw judging by the line they ended up skiing), and in general a running monologue of un-verifiable greatness from the distant past (I figure as none of the names rang a bell).

At first I attempted social behavior: Oh, France, cool, so have you seen the documentary about the Petersons.

gaper -extreme dude: uh, no, who are the Petersons.

never mind, I just thought you followed the sport, bein' in France an' all.

gaper extreme dude:I don't follow, I lead.

Oh, god, let this ride end soon.

Then 6 minutes of catalogueing their injuries: mcl this, acl that, cartilege this, steel pins that, a whole list that will justify skiing the blue runs should anyone notice they don't live up to billing.

total gaper stuff, and sprorting the best of gear and clothing to veil  their myth.
post #161 of 168
Anyone seen my pic here? thats Gaper and to make it better I couldnt ski even groomed blacks this week!!yup all dressed up and no place to go!! sheesh oh ya and did I mention a Knee brace and cooling pack from Wallmart of all places. It dont get much Gaper then that. I vote for me on the Epic Garer award. And I spelled Gaper wrong to boot
post #162 of 168
Sit down and get in line. I already have bestowed that title on myself in a TR. Epic Gaper a couple of years ago.. Besides I hold a number of other titles like Internet Skier ,The Bunny Hill shredder & Fun Zone poacher. Unless you can prove yourself worthy of such a prestigous/lofty award,I don't think so. Bring it on,I'm calling you out Old Boot. A Gaper ski off!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Boot View Post

Anyone seen my pic here? thats Gaper and to make it better I couldnt ski even groomed blacks this week!!yup all dressed up and no place to go!! sheesh oh ya and did I mention a Knee brace and cooling pack from Wallmart of all places. It dont get much Gaper then that. I vote for me on the Epic Garer award. And I spelled Gaper wrong to boot
post #163 of 168
Bring it on!  I can gaper with the best of em'.  Bunny hill bonzo, buccaneer of the blues, Grande of the greens, I want in on this.  Especially after 4 pitchers of AK Amber.

Where should the  gaper off be do you think, Buttermilk?
Edited by Stranger - 2/8/10 at 7:38am
post #164 of 168

slight diversion: Epert Only signage. Can it save a gaper from disaster, or more importantly can it save me from a gaper?
Are these just decoration to make a 30% pitch look harder, especially in posed pictures? 
Are these advisory only, and ski by it whenever and however you please, regardless of your ability?
Are these a stern warning that should always be heeded by gapers (the tie into the thread)? 
Are these an accurate description of the terrain to come and should be heeded so you don't clog up the (narrow) run for everyone while you stop and fall 6 times while Z'ing down the pitch?

post #165 of 168
 
post #166 of 168
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stranger View Post

 
OK Gaper challange!!!
post #167 of 168
Slider has done it again!
Another outstanding photo.
Here a rare shot of the elusive "Gapersquatch"
Gaperquatch is said to ski with an extra ski held vertically as an anchor in powder, or to be used if one gets lost. It's motion is thought to be a complex tumbling one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by slider View Post


Quite possibly one of the funniest videos I've ever seen.
The intro really makes it though, "Ok this is a Youtube Video! So make it look good!"
So what really qualifies it for gaperhood: apparently it was good.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MojoMan View Post


Quote:
Originally Posted by sibhusky View Post

I didn't pick any of the choices of the poll, but I am pretty sure the four people who STAYED ON the chair yesterday when it got to the top and continued on around until their legs hit the wand were gapers.....  I know the fog was BAD, but...
Yes. The GaperWatch Control Center confirms this as a registered gaper sighting.
Btw, the Center would like to keep tabs on Polariso. Anyone with info please send it in.
We're also developing a GaperWatch App to aid in sharing and confirming gaper sightings.


Quote:
Originally Posted by slider View Post
We know this is a gaper because...
- He's heading back uphill.
- His pants are frozen solid.
- He's just discovered the pole.
- He's just realized what skiing is.
- He can't believe you're on the other side of the rope.
- He's been blown away by Gapersquatch.
- He's looking at one of these men across the rope:



from: http://www.fluorescentrompersuits.co.uk

Edited by Tog - 2/8/10 at 7:22pm
post #168 of 168
Polariso, yes, I was a gaper once. And I make fun of gapers. Why? It's fun!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: General Skiing Discussion