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HOW MEN AMUSE THEMSELVES IN TESCOS (or Walmart)

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 

 

 
Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping
This letter was actually sent by Tesco's Head Office to a Customer in Oxford:
 
Dear Mrs. Murray,
 
Whilst we would like to thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
 
Below is a list of his actions over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:
 
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's Trolleys when they weren't looking.
 
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute Intervals.
 
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to Feminine Products aisle.
 
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code3' in housewares..... And watched what happened.
 
5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
 
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor Gas stove.
 
7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
 
8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
 
9. October 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the Antidepressants were.
 
10. November 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible' theme.
 
11. November 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna' look using different size funnels.
 
12. November 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'
 
13. November 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'
 
And; last, but not least:
 
14. November 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while, then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'
 
We thank you for your patronage, but please leave your husband at home.
 
Tesco.
Banbury.
post #2 of 8

Funny, but I don't recall shopping there. Other people do stuff like that?

post #3 of 8

Great letter. Most of his gags were harmless. Why ban him. He probably made shopping more entertaining for everyone except the employees.

 

BTW, Is this a friend of yours?

 

Somewhere between Rossland, BC and Spokane, WA.

 

MR

post #4 of 8

Women should know better than dragging their man into such an establishment. What a good man to accompany her in her search for feminine products and the chance to save 20 cents on some toilet paper. He deserves a medal for finding so many ways to occupy himself.

Next time she should not be so long and have a list like all good  men do when they enter  a big store.

Get yer stuff and get the heck out. That's how a man shops. Women need to learn this technique. It saves money ,time and keeps a good man out of troubles caused by boredom and a good imagination.

 

I'm nominating this guy for Man of the Year. A true role model for all .

post #5 of 8
Thread Starter 

Masters, no friend of mine - I'd never tuck my jeans into the rolled down tops of my boots

post #6 of 8

WTFH - Not rolled down tops, just a 'fashion' effect on the tops of the liners.

 

They're Sorels - the BEST winter boot ever made!  Last few years (take with a grain of salt - my previous Sorels lasted 15 years) they've gotten all 'fashiony'.  Too bad.

post #7 of 8

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jimmy P View Post

WTFH - Not rolled down tops, just a 'fashion' effect on the tops of the liners.

 

They're Sorels - the BEST winter boot ever made!  Last few years (take with a grain of salt - my previous Sorels lasted 15 years) they've gotten all 'fashiony'.  Too bad.


FWIW, this photo was taken about 12 years ago.
 

 

MR

post #8 of 8

Dudes,

 

Those wooly tops on Sorel liners are designed to seal out snow, yet permit ventilation.  Great feature when slogging through drifts deeper than boottops.

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