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TOP TEN INDICATORS THAT YOUR EMPLOYER HAS CHANGED TO A CHEAPER HEALTH CARE PLAN:

(10)  Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.

 

(9)  Directions to your doctor's office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park."

 

(8)  The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.

 

(7)  The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.

 

(6)  The only item listed under Preventive Care Coverage is "an apple a day..."

 

(5)  Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.

 

(4)  "The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges," is not a typographical error.

 

(3)  The only expense covered 100% is "embalming."

 

(2)  Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M's on them.

 

AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'VE JOINED A VERY CHEAP HEALTH CARE PLAN:

 

(1)  You ask for Viagra and they give you a Popsicle stick and Duct Tape.