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The deal with the boys and the resulting decision by dad

post #1 of 19
Thread Starter 

Dad says, if you both make the honor role this season for the first two quarters, I will let you take a day off from school and I will bring you to Killington.

 

We try to get to one new area every season here in the east to remove the boredom from skiing at one place. 

  • They are both in middle school (6th and 7th grade respectively)
  • They both participate in multiple extra activities - band, soccer, ski racing(intraclub), wrestling...
  • The youngest is in an accelerated math program.

 

The grades came out two weeks ago and the oldest made the honor role.  The the younger missed it by one point.

 

Let me know what you think and I will let you know what I decided.

post #2 of 19

one point? ouch. I had a german class where i got a 69.51 and she didnt round up so i failed.. I think you should take them. It will be fun for all of you and one point from honor roll means hes still getting pretty good grades

post #3 of 19

That's a great question. I have a 5 year going on 6, I wonder what I would do. You have two, which is where the question turns. I guess I would ask were they aware that if one did not make it, then only the one who did goes? In my Dad's case, I am not sure but I think he would have not allowed me to miss school, since I had'nt earned that privilege. On the other hand, I can see leaving one guy behind could be rough. Ask the one who made it, if he wants his brother to come, it's kind-of tough to leave the other guy behind. I think, no one gets to miss school is the best option, that way the "earning ones privileges" remains intact, and the one who made the roll, can be rewarded via some alternative, non-exclusionary fashion. Then again, tough call, since empathizing with you, would rather ski with both boys!

post #4 of 19
Thread Starter 

I was clear.  They BOTH must make it for two quarters or neither would go.

 

I wasn't going to take a day off to only bring one of them.

 

They understood.

post #5 of 19

The right decision from a Dad. Our word is our bond after all. Trust both working much harder now!

post #6 of 19

IMHO, school is first no matter what. However, with that said, if your younger one missed it by one point, you know it's likely that he put in his best effort (or at least close to it). Just make sure it's clear that you want him trying even harder next time around. If not, only brother is going (but make another judgement call if necessary when that time comes).

 

My vote: let them both go.

 

post #7 of 19

They are getting to the age where it is harder and harder to blow off school.

 

Once I took two of mine who were good students on a great trip to Tahoe area missing a few days of school, they had a track record that indicated they could easily make up the school work. Left another who was a weaker student at home with mom. The third has never forgotten this, but now hungers to ski much more than the others and has also improved as a student.

Must confess though, that I was ready to bring all three, but wife insisted on not permitting the weak student to skip three days of school.

post #8 of 19

A parent's word is one of the few things a child can count on in this life.  Obviously you thought hard about it before you said & made the original decision.  There is muchmore to be gained by all in keeping your word, than giving in to the temptation of a possible good time to be had.

post #9 of 19

Background- I'm 41 years old, my Dad is 68- fortunately for us both we ski together 30+ days per year.

 

One of my favorite memories from that age in my childhood was waking up and having Dad announce "go get changed, we are going skiing". This happened once a season with NO prior discussion or announcement. It would typically be a blue bird day, just the 2 of us headed out to ski. Usually afterwards we would stop at some little store for some type of special treat or something. Mind you, we skied together just as much then as we do now- but those couple days that he took the time away from work made the difference in my memories.

 

I'm not saying you made the wrong decision, but as you stated- taking time off of school won't get any easier.

 

post #10 of 19
Thread Starter 

I will bring them both to Killington... on a Sunday.

 

No day off from school.  A deal is a deal.

 

I feel that their hard work and effort warrants a trip.

post #11 of 19

Suspected as much, no father can resist the joys of skiing with one's kids. Heck, i know the feeling, did'nt know life could be this good till son came along and skiing with him, especially as he shreds the slopes in a "controlled" fashion is the highlight of our lives...sounds like great decision making to me. Boys get a lesson in promises to keep and rewards need to be earned and continue to enjoy time on the slopes with Dad. Perfect, I'll keep this story in mind.

post #12 of 19

The 3 of you will have an awesome day together !

post #13 of 19

WOW tough decision, But i do believe you made the right one. I have a 5 @ 2 yo. and i can see myself making the same promise to them in several years. I can only hope to remember this thread. I wish our parents would have told us how hard it is to be PARENTS and do the right things. But if they did would we have listened to them. And you hit the nail on the head - Teaching my 5 yo this year and it is a blast. Next year will be 3 yo turn, I cannot wait till both of them can ski with me!

post #14 of 19

Quote:

Originally Posted by skiprob View Post

 

I will bring them both to Killington... on a Sunday.

 

No day off from school.  A deal is a deal.

 

I feel that their hard work and effort warrants a trip.

 

Compromise! 

Now next term they'll work even harder and push each other so that they *do* get that day of skiing hooky with Dad!

post #15 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by skiprob View Post

 

I will bring them both to Killington... on a Sunday.

 

No day off from school.  A deal is a deal.

 

I feel that their hard work and effort warrants a trip.

Very good compromise.

 

Rob, you never cease to inspire me!

 

Don't forget to take pics and post a TR!!

post #16 of 19

I do things differently. As long as my kids do well, As and Bs, I've taken them out of school for a week to vacation in Vermont (use to be yearly) or out west (used to be every 3 years or so). Our school district has a policy that requires us to get permission and the teacher(s) supply us with the work that will be covered for the week. We see to it that the work is done while on vacation. Part of the requirements for excused absence is to detail what educational value of the trip. Lessons from PSIA certified instructors is one. We also make it a point to talk about local history and culture as well as appreciate the natural beauty and the local architecture. In this way we all share a learning experience. I thing travel in general is a highly educational experience that will live in your children's memory and influence their world view.

post #17 of 19

What subject was the C+ in?  If  English  - he stays home.  Period.  (These classes are about reading the book, paying attention and doing the writing assignments.  C in Eng  = slacker.)

 

Was it accelerated Math?  If so I might cut him some slack.  Not like he got a C in "Counting for Credit."

 

How about this...  Before the trip, have sonny ASK the teacher  what he can do for extra credit.  Then DO the assignment,  Make sure YOU see it and it passes muster with YOU.  If it is crap, sonny stays home.  If he gives it his best effort, skiing for all!

 

PS.  I am a HS English Teacher.  Trust me, it ain't rocket science.

post #18 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by Racer256 View Post

 

What subject was the C+ in?  If  English  - he stays home.  Period.  (These classes are about reading the book, paying attention, and doing the writing assignments.  C in Eng  = slacker.)

 

Was it accelerated Math?  If so, I might cut him some slack.  It's not like he got a C in "Counting for Credit."

 

How about this?..  Before the trip have sonny ASK the teacher what he can do for extra credit.  Then, DO the assignment,  Make sure YOU see it, and it passes muster with YOU.  If it is crap, sonny stays home.  If he gives it his best effort, skiing for all!

 

PS.  I am a HS English Teacher.  Trust me, it ain't rocket science.

Fixed them for you  Mom was also a high school English teacher, but you wouldn't know if from my grammar, spelling, or punctuation.

 

Seriously though, I LOVE the suggestion regarding extra credit to make up being one point from a better grade.  It has been quite some time, but I don't recall ever being refused that option. In classes where I really was a slacker the extra credit turned out to be quite, shall we say, "character building"

 

post #19 of 19
Great topic. It's so much fun to be a Dad with kids who love to ski.

My approach with my son, 11 going on 12, is just like SJB. We have a three hour drive to southern VT, so I just tell him the night before, we're skiing tomorrow. We throw our stuff in the back of the car, go to sleep, and by 5 the next morning we're on the road. On the way home we grab a treat for the road, and listen to music together. We do this two or three times during the school year. We both love it.

My daughter (10) is more like her Mom - when conditions are "perfect," she's in. That usually leaves my son and I, who are game under virtually any conditions.

I can only hope that the results will be like you and your Dad - later in life, still loving each other's company, enjoying in the outdoors together. Sweet.

As far as school goes, I see it as a feed-forward of positive reinforcement for being good students, engaged in their extracurriculars, and positive kids making good decisions. When/if that starts to come off the rails, we'll see about the skiing.
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