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You might be a ski racer if... - Page 2

post #31 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by L&AirC View Post

 

You might be a ski racer if:

 

You get your wife a card for Valentines day and yourself new race skis.

 

Yes, I did this.  On Valentines Day.  OK they aren't real Race Skis (Atomic LT11) and I'm not a real racer but I did join the beer league through work.  I raced for the first time last week and got a Silver and was on Metron B5's.  Can't wait to see what this Thursday brings.

 

Oh. And on Feb 15th.  Instead of skiing, I spent the day with my wonderful, understanding, beautiful wife shopping and going to one of her favorite resteraunts.


 Did the 15th make up for the race and new skis?  I have found that Diamonds work pretty well too!

 

What do you mean you're not a real racer?  Beer leagues count for sure, damn right, hiccup!

 

 

post #32 of 56

Your ski edges are sharper than your kitchen knives...

post #33 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by viking kaj View Post

 

Your ski edges are sharper than your kitchen knives...

 

How about: you know how to use the same tools to proficiently sharpen both...

post #34 of 56

You bring three pairs of GS skis to a resort, all identical except for the wax.

 

You bring three pairs of SL skis to a resort, all identical except for the wax.

post #35 of 56

PNI,

 

Apparently the 15th was the down payment.  Seems I still owe her a couple of Coach pocket books.  Each one cost more than the skis!

 

"What do you mean you're not a real racer?"

 

If you saw me race last night you would have thought I was drinking before the race!  My accomplishment and lesson for last night - Don't fall in the ruts.  They were pretty bad with lots of wipe outs.  Wasn't pretty at all.  But they do have good beer.

post #36 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by L&AirC View Post

 

If you saw me race last night you would have thought I was drinking before the race!

 

That sir, would make you a "real racer" more than you might think...

post #37 of 56
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by HeluvaSkier View Post

 

 

That sir, would make you a "real racer" more than you might think...


 

...a strategy also known as "always get high in the gates" or "leave no turn unstoned"...

post #38 of 56

......you race.

post #39 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by viking kaj View Post

 

Your ski edges are sharper than your kitchen knives...


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by HeluvaSkier View Post

 

 

How about: you know how to use the same tools to proficiently sharpen both...


 

I would never use my tuning tools for sharpening something as trivial as a piece of french high carbon steel for use in the kitchen.

My diamonds and stones are for ski use only.

post #40 of 56

You might be a ski racer if... Inspite of being old school you applaud the introduction of 165 cm sl skis and 180 cm gs skis because you can finally sleep fully stretched out in the back of your s.u.v. on the way to races.

post #41 of 56

Your wife/girlfriend says she is going to get a hot wax, you ask if she can take your skis too, and all you get is a blank stare in response.

post #42 of 56

- You have an unreasonable sense of entitlement for apparently no reason

 

- You think the mountain is there for only you, and the "general public" is only in the way

 

- You just leave your skis sitting on the snow where ever you happen to take them off, even if that means right in the traffic zone for the "general public" either at the start or finish area of a course.

 

- You are unwilling to scrape the snow off the bottom of your boot by yourself....  that is what coaches are for.

 

- You scoff at anyone who is on fat skis, and don't understand why so many people spend time "free skiing"

 

- You have a separate pair of skis for inspecting the course.....  (and you actually believe it makes a difference)

 

- Your parents think that the reason that you aren't fast is because they haven't spent enough money yet, and they act to remedy that situation

 

- YOU think you aren't fast because you have the wrong skis, wrong base bevel, wrong side bevel, your coach sucks, your start position sucks, your boots are too soft, you missed the wax, your edges are too dull (or too sharp), your footbeds are the "hard posted" kind that aren't good anymore, your boots are canted wrong or any other myriad of excuses that shifts the blame from your own skill level, work ethic or preparation.

 

 

(sorry....  HUGE USSA race in town this weekend....)

 

....this would be funny if it wasn't so true....

post #43 of 56

--you remember gate combinations from 30 years ago

 

--you've skied Vail and never left Gold Peak

 

--you get into a real tuck on slow outruns instead of standing straight with your arms behind you

 

--you consider one Olympic medal in the gates worth ten in the moguls, half pipe and other things

post #44 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by U.P. Racer View Post

 

- You have an unreasonable sense of entitlement for apparently no reason

 

- You think the mountain is there for only you, and the "general public" is only in the way

 

- You just leave your skis sitting on the snow where ever you happen to take them off, even if that means right in the traffic zone for the "general public" either at the start or finish area of a course.

 

- You are unwilling to scrape the snow off the bottom of your boot by yourself....  that is what coaches are for.

 

- You scoff at anyone who is on fat skis, and don't understand why so many people spend time "free skiing"

 

- You have a separate pair of skis for inspecting the course.....  (and you actually believe it makes a difference)

 

- Your parents think that the reason that you aren't fast is because they haven't spent enough money yet, and they act to remedy that situation

 

- YOU think you aren't fast because you have the wrong skis, wrong base bevel, wrong side bevel, your coach sucks, your start position sucks, your boots are too soft, you missed the wax, your edges are too dull (or too sharp), your footbeds are the "hard posted" kind that aren't good anymore, your boots are canted wrong or any other myriad of excuses that shifts the blame from your own skill level, work ethic or preparation.

 

 

(sorry....  HUGE USSA race in town this weekend....)

 

....this would be funny if it wasn't so true....

 

You might be a ski racer if....

 

-Your user name on a popular ski forum has the word "racer" in it

 

-Your avatar on that same forum is a picture of you.....racing.

 

-You ski race at least 3 days a week

 

-Many other ski racers know who you are....

 

-And....You actually are a REALLY GOOD SKI RACER!!!

 

post #45 of 56

The sporting events you like to watch use only a stopwatch to determine the winner.

 

 

post #46 of 56
Quote:

You might be a ski racer if....

 

-Your user name on a popular ski forum has the word "racer" in it

 

-Your avatar on that same forum is a picture of you.....racing.

 

-You ski race at least 3 days a week

 

-Many other ski racers know who you are....

 

-And....You actually are a REALLY GOOD SKI RACER!!!

 

 

 

Yeah, but in many ways, I'm a very non traditional ski racer..... 

post #47 of 56

You would get your ass whoooped for using a lift.  Racers hiked the course .. herringbone to hike and side step to tamp or pack it.

 

I'm still picking bamboo out of my ass.

 

post #48 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by U.P. Racer View Post

 

 

 

 

Yeah, but in many ways, I'm a very non traditional ski racer..... 

 

This is true........! 

 

post #49 of 56

... you can't ski bumps

post #50 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by U.P. Racer View Post

 

- You have an unreasonable sense of entitlement for apparently no reason

 

- You think the mountain is there for only you, and the "general public" is only in the way

 

- You just leave your skis sitting on the snow where ever you happen to take them off, even if that means right in the traffic zone for the "general public" either at the start or finish area of a course.

 

- You are unwilling to scrape the snow off the bottom of your boot by yourself....  that is what coaches are for.

 

- You scoff at anyone who is on fat skis, and don't understand why so many people spend time "free skiing"

 

- You have a separate pair of skis for inspecting the course.....  (and you actually believe it makes a difference)

 

- Your parents think that the reason that you aren't fast is because they haven't spent enough money yet, and they act to remedy that situation

 

- YOU think you aren't fast because you have the wrong skis, wrong base bevel, wrong side bevel, your coach sucks, your start position sucks, your boots are too soft, you missed the wax, your edges are too dull (or too sharp), your footbeds are the "hard posted" kind that aren't good anymore, your boots are canted wrong or any other myriad of excuses that shifts the blame from your own skill level, work ethic or preparation.

 

 

(sorry....  HUGE USSA race in town this weekend....)

 

....this would be funny if it wasn't so true....

 

Perfectly describes the majority of the racers that show up at Loveland early season.

post #51 of 56
Bump!  

You might be a racer if you use a router to tune your skis.
Your sauna is 7 feet long, 12 inches side, and 8 inches tall.
You engineer processes for re-using wax products.
post #52 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by akaplan9 View Post

You might be if...you wear a size 10 shoe but wear a size 8 ski boot...



HEY!!! I resemble that remark!
post #53 of 56
You might be a racer if you have taken the time to figure out how much distance 1/100th of a second translates into at 40 mph. 


It is about 7 inches.
post #54 of 56
You might be a racer if....your wife catches you looking longingly at her brand new teflon base iron even though you already have a perfectly good travel iron SOMEWHERE in the garage.
post #55 of 56
You blow up a car engine on the way home from a race on a Saturday...

you blow up your wife's car engine on the way TO a race the NEXT SATURDAY...

you borrow your in-law's car to train the next day...

and the only thing that matters to you is your slalom skis got stolen at said training day!!!
post #56 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by Racer256 View Post

You might be a racer if you have taken the time to figure out how much distance 1/100th of a second translates into at 40 mph. 


It is about 7 inches.

Really?
Pekabo Street won a medal by that much, Ligety got silver by that much, thats my hand reaching in slalom
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