I too was not a part of the ski scene (not mentioning ski racing) until my kids started to take serious interest in the sport. That would make me a 0th generation skier I suppose. Like you I felt a bit overwhelmed when we first got involved in our club. (I didn't even know what ski racing was about) Also, like your daughter, our first racer also started as a J6/7 (realistically a pre-team skier).
To learn the ropes around the club, I just talked to lots of veteran members who have older kids in the program, I spent time with the coaches, I shadowed the young group that my daughter was in (without interfering) and I volunteered to help whenever possible. Now 6 or 7 years later, although our daughters are still young, some would consider us to be veterans to the club -- even though I am at a loss often still.
To supplement that, I visited lots of ski shops and read up things in books, magazines and online sources.
With all that information I gathered, I take what makes sense and apply it to the best of my ability. With other things that aren't straight forward, I did a lot of experimenting.
So, there isn't much to it. Just keep your eyes and ears open, spend time being there, observing and ask questions whenever you feel not keeping up.