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Printing Instructions on Skis

post #1 of 21
Thread Starter 
If you printed instructions for use on some one's skis, what would you print?
post #2 of 21
Don't turn the ski. Let the ski turn you.

Go the direction the ski is pointing. If you can't do that; point the ski the direction you are going.
post #3 of 21
Shiny side up.
post #4 of 21
Pants first, then boots, then skis.
post #5 of 21
Tip onto right edges to turn right; tip onto left edges to turn left.
post #6 of 21
Go that way really fast. If something gets in your way, turn.
post #7 of 21
Cover me with snow to the point you can't read this message anymore.
post #8 of 21
For those with OCD...
Did you remember to turn the cooker off?
Did you lock the car?
Are you sure?
Do you think these are the right skis for today?
Are your boots too lose?
Now, what were the 50 tips you read on the websites for what you had to do?
What did that guy tell you not to do?
Remeber, that thing you're not supposed to do?
Yes, that. Don't do it.
Don't even think about it.
Look - you're doing it.
Stop thinking about it.
You're thinking about it so much, it's screwing up that other thing you were doing right the last time.
Look, there you go again.
Should have stayed at home.
post #9 of 21
But seriously...

Think less, have fun.
post #10 of 21
Get a lesson.

Get another one.

Repeat.
post #11 of 21
"If you are reading this, you're not looking where you're going"
post #12 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wear The Fox Hat View Post
"If you are reading this, you're not looking where you're going"
that made me laugh.
post #13 of 21
Left, Right, Repeat as needed.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Wear The Fox Hat View Post
"If you are reading this, you're not looking where you're going"

When teaching students on our rental skis I frequently tell them their skis are going to be orange all day, they don't need to keep checking.
post #14 of 21

some come to mind...

  • Call for instructions. Request one of over 10,000 versions
  • This end forward
  • Do not cross
  • Use at own risk [but litigate everyone]
  • Mounting binding other than prescribed mark under penalty of law
  • Not for water use
  • Caution; edges sharp until first use
  • For return see other side
  • Other equipment [not included] maybe necessary to operate
post #15 of 21
^
If you can read this, try looking | instead.
post #16 of 21
This side up.
post #17 of 21
What are you looking at?
post #18 of 21
Pointy end goes downa hill

Udder end goes the udder way

post #19 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yuki View Post
Udder end goes the udder way
Beware that one udder cow
post #20 of 21

Rule #1...

...don't look down at your skis.

#2 If you're not turning, go faster.

#3 Always get high in the gates.

#4 Leave no turn unstoned.

#5 Know your limits and exceed them frequently.

There's more, I just can't remember them right now...
post #21 of 21
Don't be a gaper

WWSMD (What would Seth Morrison Do? or substitute Shane McConkney)

remember downhill skier has right of way
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