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The second collision I witnessed was as thus:

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 
The criminal was a college-aged man, bout 23 years old, big guy, 220 lbs. wearing all black. He slammed into a young woman who had stopped with her ski school group on the side of the trail. As you all know, gapers like to play the "lets see how close I can come to the ski school group" game. Well this gaper, like many, couldn't turn in time and took the beautiful woman down with extreme prejudice.

I saw the whole thing and flew, like a might hawk, to scene of the crime. The woman was out of it, could barely talk and her equipment was yard saled. Immediately the new yorker gaper in black started to make excuses for himself. I told him to shut up and gave him the "I will destroy you and crush your ballz" look and he shut his mouth.

I told him that he was guilty of assault and rather than making excuses he should be off his board and tending to the woman who he nearly dismembered. He did so. I was doing a quick assessment of the woman, talking to her, making sure nothing was broken. She gathered herself fairly quickly and was back on her feet, but not before I checked her spinal cord. It was ok.

I started in on the New Yorker but the kind woman told me to take it easy on him. I obliged. After one more quick assessment of the woman's condition I had the gaper follow me down the hill. But we weren't going to the bottom.

I led the gaper into the woods, far away from the ears of any passers by. It was time to execute some justice, chaos-style. I beat the gaper. After beating the gaper I took his snowboard and broke in half with a karate chop. I told him to walk to his car and never come back.

Later that evening I saw the beautiful woman in a bar. She invited me to her condo to thank me.

If you see a collision such as this occur, I suggest you do the same that I did.
post #2 of 8
Being the gentleman and skilled skier that I am, I would have positioned myself between the lovely lady and the bruiser to prevent the collision.
post #3 of 8
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chaos View Post
Immediately the new yorker gaper in black started make excuses for himself....
Hmmm I'm from the Empire State and I ski in all black...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chaos View Post
I told him that he was guiltly of assault and rather than making excuses he should be off his board
Phewww, not me..


Quote:
Originally Posted by Chaos View Post
I led the gaper into the woods, far away from the ears of any passers by.
Boy you sure got a purty mouth...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chaos View Post
Later that evening I saw the beautiful woman in a bar. She invited me to her condo to thank me.
.
The whole time I was reading this, I was thinking Chaos has a wingman who will go to great lengths for him. Then I saw this and confirmed my suspicions. Good game you got running there.


Seriously, good work.People need to not act like *******s on the hill. A little control, concern for your fellow skiers/boarders and restraint go a long way to make ski areas a safer place.

Giving the guy an ass beating may be taking it a bit far, but then again, this guy will probably not act like that big of a jerk on the hill again.
post #4 of 8
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chaos View Post
I beat the gaper.
snip
I told him to walk to his car and never come back.
Beatin's ain't what they used to be.
post #5 of 8
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chaos View Post
I led the gaper into the woods, far away from the ears of any passers by. It was time to execute some justice, chaos-style. I beat the gaper. After beating the gaper I took his snowboard and broke in half with a karate chop. I told him to walk to his car and never come back.
Yeahhhhhhhhhhhh CHAOS!
post #6 of 8
wow those are my stats, except I haven't skied yet this season
post #7 of 8
good work
post #8 of 8
Chaos's Post/Thread ratio approaching 0.
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EpicSki › The Barking Bear Forums › On the Snow (Skiing Forums) › General Skiing Discussion › The second collision I witnessed was as thus: