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Looking for funny ski instructor stories - Page 2

post #31 of 41
Originally posted by PhysicsMan:
Back to the original purpose of this thread, here's one for the chapter on fashion:

Back in the early '80's, I was casually acquainted with a nationally known ski instructor who had written a few "How to Ski" books as well as several others on fitness and other topics. This guy was in super shape, worked out daily, and always looked great (full head of jet black hair, appropriately weathered features, etc.). No matter what the weather, he would dress entirely in black leather and top it off with a silver studded black cowboy hat.

He always maintained a serious, never-smile, nothing's ever funny, don't-mess-with-me disposition. Between his disposition, looks, and over-the-top dress, he came across like a skiing hybrid between Johnny Cash and Clint Eastwood in his toughest-guy spaghetti western days.

This guy had a very serious image to maintain. One day, I was following him down the mountain at pretty high speeds when his precious cowboy hat flew off his head. I stopped and picked it up and noticed something else of his in the snow nearby. I was flabbergasted at what it was, but I picked it up and skied down to him.

I returned his hat and toupee. The guy turned out to be bald as a buzzard! The only thing he said was, "If you ever ...".

Tom / PM
Great Story its been 20 years!!! who is the toupee guy? lol

spotter [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]
post #32 of 41
Originally posted by spotter:
...Great Story its been 20 years!!! Who is the toupee guy? lol ... spotter [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]
I haven't seen him in years, but he was a nice guy (in spite of his vanity), and this was a BFD to him, so I still feel honor bound not to directly "out" him. OTOH, here are a bunch of additional clues that would only be know by someone who also knew / knows him, yet directly ID him:

I don't think Mr. Toupee Man skis very much any more, but he is still professionally active - Of all things, has become quite well known in the art world. I could be wrong, but I believe he still maintains a slope-side home at the base of one of the major VT mtns as well as his CT residence. Unfortunately, he and his beautiful, blond, athletic wife of the time were divorced many years ago. To the best of my knowledge, he hasn't written any more skiing technique books, fitness books, or embarrassing tongue-in-cheek ski novels.

If people want to have some fun and make some guesses, feel free. If it's obvious that somebody knows him, I'll confirm privately, provided they promise on a stack of bibles not to spread the info.


Tom / PM
post #33 of 41
Physics Man I have the mystery man's book. Skier's Digest which I think was written in 1972. His big issue at the time with the PSIA was challenging the PSIA's advocation of a wider stance.

The unnamed skier had very strong opinions and convictions that ran counter current to the instruction represented by the PSIA. Maybe he was the Harald Harb of his day. Its sad to think he lost his passion to ski. When you read Skier's Digest it becomes very apparent he wasn't suffering from self confidence. The other book he authored was titled Snow Balling. I unforyunately never found this gem! Great to go back in time. I think he was comped when he traveled to all the resorts he wrote about in his book. Not a bad way to go skiing.
post #34 of 41
Honor prevents me from responding publicly , but I'll send you a private msg in a few min.

BTW, I know exactly who you are thinking of. Somewhere in some box in the garage, I actually have a copy of Snow Balling by the guy you have in mind. I remember it as totally unabashed tongue-in-cheek fun. I need to dig it out, re-read it, and see if I still have the same opinion 30+ years later.

Tom / PM

PS (in edit) - Roundturns, I can't send you a private message. I don't think you have the service turned on in the EpicSki control panel.
post #35 of 41
Originally Posted by Coach13
...It does a great job of bringing things to a halt. [img]graemlins/evilgrin.gif[/img]
Does that include your career path with that company??
Too bad the PC Police have taken the fun and common sense practicle application out of work.
post #36 of 41
Are his initials RM?
post #37 of 41
Originally Posted by Blizzard
Are his initials RM?
post #38 of 41

Teaching a group of 3-5 year-olds in the kids beginner bowl a while back,

one of them persisted in eating the snow.

Having knowledge of the number of kids who used the area each day, an unpleasant thought occured to me, so I suggested to my little friend " You shouldn't eat that snow, it has snot in it"

His instant reply : "Thats OK, I eat snot"

post #39 of 41

I witnessed a British guy in Austria show up for a lesson at the mid-mountain meeting area carrying a suitcase.

post #40 of 41

Half day private with a 12 year old boy let's call him Andy focusing on getting him over a tendency to wedge on blue terrain. We worked on a long green trail most of the morning and were on our way to the midstation to ski a blue trail before i released him to his dad. We talked about what we had worked on and how we were going to ski Lower Almost Heaven. Just before we got off the chair he tells me he has to pee, I told him OK this is our last run and we'll go straight to the lodge. We unload at the mid, skate over to the top of the trail and he says he has to pee, i repeated that this was our last run and he says "but you don't understand i have to go NOW". I said ok, leave your skis here, go over there and find a tree, I'll wait here. While I'm standing next to his ski's two other instructors come by stop and ask where my student went. I told them i didn't know, we got separated and all I could find was his skis laying here in the snow. Just as the more gullible of the two starts to get excited what are you going to do do you want some help, ready to form a search party and all, Andy comes out of the trees with a BIG smile on his face.

post #41 of 41

I got to this thread through a link in one of the current ones. It's old but I think worthy of revival in anticipation of the new season. Ott's great story reminded me of a late afternoon in the bar at the base in Park City a couple of years ago. My girlfriend had just completed a lesson with a friend of mine. (I wouldn't dream of trying to teach her myself!) In her group was a charming Belgian woman of a certain age. The student group took a table and ordered drinks, waiting for their instructor to join them once he had changed out of his uniform. The Belgian lady began to wonder whether the bar served snacks to go with the drinks. She was making futile attempts to attract the waiter's attention when a group of  instructors, including my friend, came up to the table. In one of those odd moments of silence that occasionally happen in a crowd, the Belgian woman inquired of my friend in a serious and piercing tone: "Do you have little nuts?"


The bar didn't stay silent long!

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