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Skiing and relationships. - Page 2

post #31 of 51
Originally posted by rossi9irl:
RustlerGirl, AltaGirl; I agree with you girls on this. I am not gonna waste my time on a non- skier. It wouldn't be fair tro either of us. And i would not like to date a guy who is a lot slower than me. It should go both ways, most guys do not like to wait around while their girl does wedge turns down the hill.. Call me picky, but right now skiing comes first!! The rest will fall into place...
The good thing is, even guys that aren't necessarily the best skiers still can ski pretty fast. It may not be technically sound, but typically they can keep up. Intermediate women (even advanced women) fear speed more than men do (a generalization, but does anyone dispute it?). So I don't think an advanced woman has to wait around on an intermediate man the same way an advanced man would wait on an intermediate woman.
post #32 of 51
Originally posted by Bonni:
HUH! Interesting.

I'll ski with anyone who skis with me, regardless of ability. I've skied with racers and cliff jumpers. We wait for each other at the bottom. I appreciate their patience, and learn from them by watching them, and asking questions on the way up.

At Mt. Bachelor last May, I met and skied with a guy in his 70's who was there alone. He had to take frequent breaks on the way down the blue runs because of his knees. I stopped with him most of those times. I was not Annoyed. He was not a "pansy". He told me fascinating stories of Bachelor history, his younger days, and told me about himself and his family when we "rested". We took in the view, and I was glad to share some of the day with him.

He said one thing that got to me. He said, "This may be the last day I ever ski. I'm glad I met you and we shared it."

I would have missed that had I been zooming around. There are times to just "be easy". :
I'm with you Bonni
I have spent an afternoon (after my lesson) cruising around doing SLOW ROUND turns down the greenest blue run on the mountain - with someone I met on the internet site in Oz - because her (@#$% of a) husband was 'too good a skier' to slow down & ski with her! This is THE FIRST TIME she has ever had anyone to ski with!
The woman is doing VERY well - 1 week on skis doing nice turns well balanced(was a VERY competitive basketballer I believe) on her first day out in 12 months. How hard is it to slow down & think about what you are doing to ski slower for an hour or 2???

I appreciate folks taking time to take me for a ski - & we all have to start somewhere. Why are some of the population so damn arrogant that they think they are 'ski gods' & above mere mortals ?
post #33 of 51
I have skied with people who are slower than me, that is not what my point was. My point was would I want one of these slow people to be somebody I would likely be skiing with 5 days a week, no. If I was in a relationship with a guy who skis likely we would go skiing together a lot. So of course I wouldn't want them to be slower than me. Nobody goes skiing to sit around yawning at the bottom of a run. Once in awhile thats fine, but its not something I want to be doing all the time.
post #34 of 51
Why does your partner need to ski WITH you 5 days a week?
post #35 of 51
Without trying to redirect the commentary of this thread, there may be a casual observation to be noticed.

Those who appear to be now not in a caring relationship with another person tend to place expectations and conditions on the traits/character/values etc. of the Significant Other to be. (sometimes referred to as "umm friend" i.e. "I would like you to meet Sally, my err.. ummm.. friend") The reality is often quite different. If we search for "love" in another, in order to find personal happiness, we will likely set ourselves up for rather large dissapointments. I have found "love" to be rather irrational, and not at all interested in my conditions or expectations.

With a busy family, if I even see my wife more than several ours a day it is an exception. My wife and I have agreed that in life there are many lists of priorities for each of us. Our relationship with each other is on a seperate list!


"All of my former wives had the same name "plantiff". "
post #36 of 51
Originally posted by rossi9irl:
RustlerGirl, AltaGirl; I agree with you girls on this. I am not gonna waste my time on a non- skier. It wouldn't be fair tro either of us. And i would not like to date a guy who is a lot slower than me. It should go both ways, most guys do not like to wait around while their girl does wedge turns down the hill.. Call me picky, but right now skiing comes first!! The rest will fall into place...
Even living in a huge ski town such as SLC, this is a luxury that guys don't so much have. The competition is tight.

RustlerGirl, you should have no shortage of guys to ski with while your working up at Alta. Sell lottery tickets, winner gets to take you on a date.
post #37 of 51
I'm in for 20 bucks.

post #38 of 51
Originally posted by disski:
Why does your partner need to ski WITH you 5 days a week?
Because we like it that way!
post #39 of 51
Some girls just prefer black diamonds in their promise ring. It's like that guy said in Ski Bums about making love in the morning and then going out and skiing powder all day. That's the ultimate in pleasure!
post #40 of 51
Sorry to disagree, but I'd sooner not waste energy in the morning on horizontal fun, when there's virgin vertical to be had. The horizontal fun can come at the end of the day.

post #41 of 51
Fox, your starting to raise some serious questions in my mind here.
post #42 of 51
AltaGirl & Rustler Girl (why do I picture the two of you hooking up this winter and ripping past *all* the guys at Alta, but that's another story):

I think there's maybe a couple of different topics going on here; one has to do with who you choose to ski with in the short run, the other involves a more permanent partner.

Don't just automatically rule out a guy who doesn't ski quite as well - right now - as you do. A couple that I ski with regularly is a good example. When they first met a few years ago (in their mid-twenties), she'd been skiing, racing, etc, since she was a little kid. She was already an excellent skier. He was an athletic intermediate.

As they started skiing together, he really struggled to ski the places and the pace that she did, but he worked at improving and has reached the point where he can keep with her pretty much anywhere. They're married now, by the way.

I agree that I would have a hard time convincing myself that a *non*-skiing woman would make the cut as a long-term significant other (if I were looking, of course). But, I think if all the other variables click, then maybe a so-so skier can be nurtured into one you'd want to ski with every day.

post #43 of 51
All I know is there's nothing more dampening to the skiing spirit than someone laying a guilt trip on you for enjoying it. I love nothing more than to shut the door on a messy house and screaming kids and enter the sanctuary of my Subaru, click on the CD player, and put 'er in drive. Cruise the empty highway as sun rises above the Absarokees, hang a right at the Bridgers, and watch them light up in pastels. By the time I park, I've passed from the real world to the realer world, I put on my skis, ride up solo, and ski down a corduroy run as fast and precise as I can.

Skiing helps me function in the real world. Why would anyone who loves me want to take that away, and why would I ever let them? As for guilt trips, I am learning that they say as much about the person laying it on as it does the one who accepts the burden. Everyone says it: skiing is about freedom. Maybe that applies as well to that delicate negotiation between skiing and nonskiing life partners. If you love me let me go. If I love you I will return.
post #44 of 51
SO, to distill the facts

A fella needs to find a gal who is
1) Wealthy
2) enjoys cooking and cleaning
3) has a huge appitite for sex
and now
4) is a great skier who can "keep up"

How will he ever be able to keep all these women from meeting each other?

post #45 of 51
>>> So of course I wouldn't want them to be slower than me.<<<

RustlerGirl, have you not yet learned to ski slow and enjoy the finness of it? Try it, you may like it.

post #46 of 51
There is a divide here:

In a life partner, I'd say it's the passion for skiing that's important. Or at least important that they understand it. Not that you can't work around it, but it has the potential to make life difficult.

In a ski partner, it's more the ability level that's important. And 'ability level' isn't even the right phrase, it's more like keeping a similar pace and agreeing on which terrain to ski. Obviously we should all be flexible, but it's more fun to be like-minded in the first place.

And I'm lucky to have a husband who is my favorite ski partner so I have no complaints!

And Ott: Yes, it's fun to ski slowly, but not all the time. Skiing can be many things and sometimes I love to float down the mountain and take things in, and other days the adrenaline junkie in me takes charge. I couldn't give up either one.
post #47 of 51
altagirl, you should have no problems since the fastest skiers on the slopes are advanced beginners and low intermediates who have not yet learned to control their speed. I'm almost always passed by skiers, arms flailing, mostly in the back seat, and at times an "Ooohhhhsh....t" can be heard.

So one of those should be able to keep up with you guys (girls).

post #48 of 51
I never thought that a skiing forum will show me the light !!!!
I´m learning a lot about the skiing animal love life.( and this is only 50% joke )

But I think there is an important difference between U.S. and Argentine skiing , You ski a lot on weekends as we do it mostly in 1 or 2 weeks trips , so maybe the ski level of your partner is not so important as her/his love of the sport .
As I ski faster and in steeper and more dangerous places than my wife ,I ski with her before lunch , sometimes have lunch together , then I´m gone until the lifts close .
She stays in the blues and easy blacks , drinks coffe and looks for me when she want to try something harder.
WE talk later about our adventures .
When I really disapear for a whole day ( i.e. powder day with avalanche danger ) I have to pay : usually 30 minutes of apres skiing massage , cook and wash the dishes( and I call myself MACHO!)
post #49 of 51
There would'nt be a game of 'fox and hounds' being planned for Alta/Deer valley in January would there?
post #50 of 51
CalG - be careful about those generalisations. Unattached here & I'm on YOUR side of the argument(then again I'm an OLD bird - so maybe I learnt something over the years!)

Bob.Peters - thanks that was what I was getting at.
post #51 of 51
Okay, you've peaked my interest enough to jump in. I married a girl who skied poorly, mostly due to the fact that she skied an average of 4-5 days each season. When we married she expressed an interest in learning to ski better, spend more time on the slopes, yadda, yadda.

It didn't happen. After 10 years, she still skied poorly, and she had to be talked into getting 4-5 days on the hill.

I ski 40+, and I wish I could find time to ski more. It wasn't that I minded skiing 4 or 5 days each season on blues; What it really comes down to is spending time with your partner. When it got to the point of seperate vacations, It was obviously time to call it quits.

If I ever got married again, I would not only not consider anyone who can't drop through steep trees at gut-wrenching speeds, I wouldn't consider anyone who doesn't live just for that.

Could I find happiness putzing around on groomers or enjoying the shopping in Aspen or waiting for someone at the chairlift while they ski down an easier run. Hell no. At my age, it probably means I'll be single from now on, but I don't care. I'd rather go to bed at night tired (but happy) from tearing up 30,000 of fresh lines than frustrated from a day of putzing
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