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Misleading Ski Model Names

post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 
While there are some ski manufacturers that come up with a simple way of giving names to their models (Atomic), there are few that go out of their way to come up with a "catchy" name. Some of those do not look that appropriate after you look up the meaning of the word in a dictionary.

Here is my list of the Misleading Ski Model Names

11. Salomon VERSE:</font>
  • MUSIC POETRY group of song or poem lines: a section of a poem or song consisting of a number of lines arranged together to form a single unit</font>
  • JUDEO-CHRISTIAN numbered division of Bible chapter: any of the numbered subdivisions into which the chapters of the Bible are divided</font>
  • POETRY poetry: poetry as opposed to prose</font>
  • POETRY body of poetry: a body of poetry, for example, by a single author or from a particular country or period an anthology of 19th-century verse </font>
  • POETRY kind of poetry: a particular form of poetry</font>
  • POETRY bad poetry: poetry that is trivial in content or inferior in quality It's not poetry at all, it's just verse. </font>
  • POETRY short poem: a poem, especially a short one</font>
  • POETRY line of a poem: a single line of a poem, arranged rhythmically in metrical feet
I think the marketing folks at Salomon tried to convey the ski's VERSATILITY, but endeded up with something poetic, which is not such a bad thing

10. Salomon SCREAM:</font>
  • piercing cry: a loud, piercing, high-pitched cry, uttered especially in fear, pain, excitement, or amusement</font>
  • high-pitched noise: a very loud, high-pitched sound such as that of a siren or jet engine</font>
  • somebody or something highly amusing: an extremely funny or entertaining person, event, or activity (informal)
I may go with the last definition... but it is too low on the list

9. Volant VERTEX:</font>
  • apex: the highest point of something</font>
  • ANATOMY top of the head: the highest point of a body part, especially the top or crown of the head</font>
  • GEOMETRY point opposite the base: the point opposite the base of a figure</font>
  • GEOMETRY point where sides of angle meet: the point where two sides of a plane figure or an angle intersect</font>
  • GEOMETRY point where planes of solid meet: the point where three or more planes of a solid figure intersect</font>
  • ASTRONOMY point toward which stars move: a point on the celestial sphere toward which or from which a group of stars appears to move
Do I sense a subtle hint here, that this ski is the highest point of something, maybe Volant product line???

8. Rossignol REBEL</font>
  • protester: somebody who protests against something by defying authority The rebels in the party voted against their leaders. </font>
  • soldier who opposes government in power: a soldier who belongs to a force seeking to overthrow a government or ruling power</font>
  • unconventional person: somebody who refuses to conform to the codes and conventions of society
Do not expect any cooperation from that ski

7. Volant GRAVITY</font>
  • ASTRONOMY gravitational force of Earth: the attraction due to gravitation that the Earth or another celestial body exerts on an object on or near its surface</font>
  • PHYSICS See gravitation n.2 </font>
  • seriousness or significance: the serious nature of something because for example of the worrying or significant consequences it has or could have</font>
  • serious behavior: solemnity and seriousness in somebody's attitude or behavior</font>
  • heaviness: the quality of being heavy</font>
  • heaviness: the heaviness of something (formal)
What can I say, this one is seriously heavy

6. Head CYCLONE</font>
  • METEOROLOGY large-scale storm system: a large-scale storm system with heavy rain and winds that rotate counterclockwise in the Northern Hemisphere and clockwise in the Southern Hemisphere around and toward a low pressure center. See also anticyclone </font>
  • METEOROLOGY violent storm: a violent rotating windstorm or tornado</font>
  • TECHNOLOGY rotating device: a device that rotates rapidly, using centrifugal force to separate materials, for example, particles from a gas
This one excels at spinning turns

5. Rossignol BANDIT</font>
  • armed robber: an armed robber who steals from travelers and other people, usually at gunpoint</font>
  • gangster: a member of a gang of violent criminals</font>
  • exploitative person: somebody who cheats or swindles other people</font>
  • AIR FORCE enemy aircraft: an enemy aircraft sighted by a crew while flying (informal)
Not sure what message is conveyed here.... Buying this ski you are getting robbed???

4. K2 ENEMY</font>
  • unfriendly opponent: somebody who hates and seeks to harm or cause trouble for somebody else</font>
  • MILITARY a military opponent: a person or group, especially a military force, that fights against another in combat or battle</font>
  • POLITICS hostile power: a hostile nation or power</font>
  • harmful thing: something that harms or opposes something else
Definitely a harmful thing that will always be against you

3. Head MONSTER</font>
  • ugly terrifying creature: any large, ugly, terrifying animal or person found in mythology or created by the imagination, especially something fierce that kills people. Monsters often feature in folklore and fairytales as evil creatures resembling a mixture of different animals. </font>
  • evil person: somebody whose perceived inhumanity or vicious behavior terrifies and disgusts people</font>
  • huge thing: something extraordinarily or unusually large (informal) (often used before a noun) </font>
  • PATHOLOGY improperly formed fetus: a fetus that is markedly improperly formed, especially one that cannot live outside the uterus</font>
  • offensive term: an offensive term for a person, animal, or plant that is undesirably formed (archaic)
No comment here

2. Volant MACHETE</font>
  • large heavy knife: a large heavy broad-bladed knife used as a weapon or as a tool for cutting a way through vegetation, especially in Central and South America and the West Indies
While it's skiing ability is questionable, it sure will come handy if you have to defend yourself or get lost in a forest. Yet another large and heavy product from Volant


1. Volkl VERTIGO</font>
  • condition marked by whirling sensations: a condition in which somebody feels a sensation of whirling or tilting that causes a loss of balance. It is most often caused by disease of the inner ear or of the parts of the brain concerned with balance, or it may precede an epileptic episode.
CAUTION: This ski will make you dizzy, will cause you to crash a lot (due to the loss of balance) and you may have an epileptic epizode at the end of the day

post #2 of 20
SO, dear, does this mean that Beta Race is only in the testing stages and still needs to have all the bugs worked out????

***sigh*** he hates my bandits.
post #3 of 20
Well, no more appropriate place to mention my Odysseys than on Epic.

Now, if I can find myself a matching pair of Iliads, I'd be set.

post #4 of 20
OK, Please explain: Pocket Rocket?

Is that a Pocket Rocket in your pants, or are you just glad it's a powder day?


[ June 06, 2002, 03:02 PM: Message edited by: Wear the fox hat ? ]
post #5 of 20
Wear the fox hat,
I was thinking Pocket Rocket's as well before I even opened up this thread. That is definatley a catchy name.

How about the K2 Mach skis? That name just sounds fast!
post #6 of 20
If memory serves [and at this point in my life it may not], the Pocket Rocket nomination has been used to identify a hockey player. Maurice Richard [that's mo-REECE ree-SHARD] was a hockey player called "Rocket". His much smaller brother, Henry Richard [that's on-REE or on-RAY ree-SHARD] who was fast, agile and succesful in spite of his smaller size, was called "Pocket Rocket". So perhaps the ski is quite agile and fast.
post #7 of 20
Montego, Caprice, Escalade, Ciera, Lexus, Altima, Quattro, Acura...what's it all MEAN?

A company launched a 45 million ad campaign in 2002 to make us think it's BROWN.

What's in a name? Would a rose by any name smell as sweet?

Apparently not.
post #8 of 20
Not so fast, nolobolono!!!! A rose WOULD smell so sweet, and the name would help us to remember what it is we have smelled! You need a "hook", even when the product is great. My Acura could be called a "cardboard box", and I'd still enjoy it. My Bandit XX could be called "the Ski" or "Rossi mid-fat" and it still would feel GREAT! My wifey could change her name to uh what uh "GEORGE" and I can absolutely guarantee that would not change certain crucial aspects of her uh "being".
post #9 of 20
Tell that to "Altria," Oboe.
post #10 of 20
I tried to get some Lange Antheas and some Dynastar Antheas for free, but they just laughed at me. What was really annoying though was they were intermediate models! How misleading.
post #11 of 20
What sort of buyer do you think the Ford Probe is aimed at?
post #12 of 20
Would a rose smell as good if it was called a "stinkweed"?

As for the Probe, I believe, having driven one, that it is aimed at small men who have no appreciation of quality or good design. (I drove one, but didn't buy it)

post #13 of 20
Sorry, meant to add...
Acura = Honda
Lexus = Toyota

and, I used to own a Hyundai Coupe (the curvy one)
I got a lot of stick from people because of the brand, but I never got any stick from anyone who sat in the car. It looked good, was well designed, and loaded with extras.

post #14 of 20

Don't forget:

Infinity = Nissan
Audi = VW

and what about a company called Diamler-Chrysler? You'd think it were an oxymoron, but no, just simply "moron" as the quality ratings for Benz is now equal to that of Hundai.
post #15 of 20
forgot about Infinity (we don't have them over here), but I'll add:
Infinity = Nissan = Renault (well, OK, Renault only own 49.5% of Nissan, but...)
And Audi = VW = Seat = Skoda
Jaguar = Ford
Mini = BMW

And finally (and most importantly)

Aston Martin = 007

post #16 of 20
Have you seen Chrysler's new ad campaign,


Not a bad concept but I hate the execution.

What's in a name is not literal, or people would not name their daughters Chastity unless they really wanted to screw them up. No, these "ride" names are all soft sell, NLP, and all that. Like Chastity, they scan, that is, they roll off the tongue like nectar. Sounds good, is good!

Lexus suggests indulgence; acura precision; altima the pinnacle, etc. The best names for products in this category are going to be those that get the most people to say, yeah, that's ME. Everyone likes to think of themselves as sexy: no wonder names that are suggestive, sensuous, promising, idealistic, and saucy would appeal to us.
post #17 of 20
Along those lines, here's a useless question...
What company, in the 1950s wanted to call their new car the 901 (9th series, first model), but were prevented from doing so because another car company claimed a trademark on a certain number configuration.

Name the two companies.

There's an easy one for a Friday afternoon!

post #18 of 20
The Porsche models don't have a low 900's sequence. Mmmmmmmmmmmm???? Peugeot perhaps?

Saab = GM

Volvo = Ford

Fiat = Lada = Yugo This was just about the ultimate repackaging act! The Italians sold the dog to the Ruskies and the Yugoslavians.
post #19 of 20
> Misleading Ski Model Names ...

Dominique Perret?
Oh, wait a minute ... this isn't the Stockli ski model thread is it? Sorry, wrong number.


Tom / PM
post #20 of 20
Got it in one Yuki,
Peugeot claimed trademark on the concept of #0# for car names, so Ferdinand and the boys were not allowed to call one of their cars the 901.
So, they decided to call it the 911, and the rest is history.

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