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Funny ski memories

post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 
I was just thinking back over the past couple of years spent on the hills, in the apres ski bars, in condos, in the car, etc, that have had memorible impact on my skiing life. You know, the kind that gets told iun the bars by the fire after a good powder day. So, I just thought it might be a interesting for us to share some of our memories from the bars, hills or whatever that we thought were pretty funny at the time. I'll fill mine in later.
post #2 of 20
I met this guy once who walked into a bar in the middle of the summer wearing one ski boot and one sandal - claimed to be an 'Intergalactic Traveler'! Does that count?
post #3 of 20
It was a Brutal day on the mt. but my ski pal and I stuck it out till around 11 am. By then we had collected a good 1/2 inch of ice on our bodies and decided to go in for a warm up. As we entered the the lodge someone approach us and says,"How is it out there?" My friend and I looked at each other and then he replied,"I don't know we just drove up here in the convertiable.
post #4 of 20
You might be surprised by this, but I could tell you a few yarns.
I mean, us Irish folk aren't known for our story telling, but I'm an exception

Two stories you can ask me about in a bar some time, provided you're buying the drink:
1. How John got the baseball cap in Saalbach
2. The last night in the Longhorn in December 2000.

post #5 of 20
But I will tell you this one...
We were staying in the Sporthotel Traudl in Saalbach. It's about 1 mile from the town centre, but during the day the skibus stops at the door. The road from the hotel to the town twisted along with a drop on the left side into the river.
After staying at the hotel for a couple of days, this group of English schoolchildren arrived to stay in the same hotel. They had been driven from England in a coach by a Geordie (man from Newcastle).
(Don't worry, the story is going somewhere)
Anyway, we had been drinking in the hotel bar one evening with the school teachers (actually that's reminded me of another story, but we'll save it for again), and the coach driver. They had kept on drinking while John, Geoff, and me went to get changed to go out for the night. We came back down to the bar for another couple of drinks, and to get Tina, the barmaid (another story) to phone for a taxi for us, plus some of the teachers. At this point the slightly inebriated Geordie had a quick chat with Grant, our tour rep, (who was a New Zealander, and was on the take for absolutely everything), the Geordie announced that instead of taking the taxi at 50 Schillings for 3 of us, he would take us all (teachers included) into town for 15 schillings each.
We were drunk, and thought this was a bargain.
So, the Geordie disappeared to find the coach keys, and we helped him to put the keys in the door to get it open (as I said already, he was about 5 pints past being just merry)
Somehow he got the coach started, we all got on board, and took the trip of our lives into Saalbach.
If I'd been sober, there's no way I would have got on the bus.

I've no idea how we made it into town, but we did. And that's my first story, next one will cost someone alcohol.

post #6 of 20
Ok, here's one:
I few years ago, a bunch of us were doing some spring skiing up at Park City. We were skiing in the slush and knocking back a few of our now world famous 3.2 brews.
Someone thought it would be a great idea if we raced down to one of the on-mountain restaurants (the Snow Hut) and the last one down would buy for the rest. Needless to say it was figure 11's down the hill until it came time to stop.
Spring skiing is a lot of fun, but some really wild slush piles usually form near the bottom of most runs and this was no exception. Unfortunately, Scottie wasn't paying enough attention and proceeded to plow directly into one of these piles, lose both skiis, poles, etc. and cartwheeled smack into one of the ski racks sitting outside the 'Hut! Scottie hit the rack so hard he actually lifted it up and onto the one directly behind it and knocked pretty much everthing off both racks.
One of my other friends and I were just a few seconds behind Scottie and when we stopped (very carefully) and saw he was OK - we both quickly put our skiis aside and started up the stairs as if we didn't know him (oh,the shame)!
As we were going up the stairs a lady in a Bogner suit came running down the stairs, probably afraid her skiis were ruined, screaming "Oh my God, is he OK?" My friend calmly turned to her and said "Oh yeah, he does that all the time." She turned and slowly walked back up the steps and we proceeded up and had Scottie buy us our 3.2 lager for the rest of the afternoon.
Boy, you should have seen the bruise that sucker made!
post #7 of 20
Do I have the stories

Fun is where you find it

post #8 of 20
Robin might be better at this one than I will be. He was there and got a kick out of it.

Robin, David O. and I were skiing for a day before a Terrel clinic in Telluride, CO. about 3 or 4 years ago. The day was a skiing disaster.

For our warm-up, we took a wrong turn and ended up on "Spiral Stairs" in firm conditions. (SS is a steep, narrow, bumper that should be reserved for mid-day... after getting your ski legs under you.) After pounding the tar out of ourselves David and I decide that shortly after that, we needed to spin helis off of a questionable hit right under the chair.

So off we go, cramped legs and all, and I huck a too-slow spin and barely get around. I stuck it!! But I paid for it. As I tried to hurry the rotation (like a cat thrown off the porch) I panicked and reached with my right ski pole and it touched down FIRST. Maybe some of you see what's coming...

My face compressed nicely onto the top of my grip and all the Kinetic energy in my head was transferred directly to the snow via my pole. The resulting shock tore a hole in my lip and my goggles were pushed off my face, leaving a Shibby black eye for all to admire. I looked like someone hit me with a Tammy Faye doll... and I felt like someone hit me in the face with a Chrysler.

Anyway, as that part of the story is fairly un-funny, I had to go the next two days in a PSIA Clinic with a juicy, scabby, lip and a bulging purple eye. Trying to be all "smooth". At all following Edwin Terrel clinics, someone shows up and calls me "Rocky".

Spag :

<FONT COLOR="#800080" SIZE="1">[ January 14, 2002 07:31 PM: Message edited 1 time, by Notorious Spag ]</font>
post #9 of 20
I like the run-away straps visible in Ott's pictures. Too bad one wasn't working quite well enough .

Tom / PM
post #10 of 20
post #11 of 20
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Ott Gangl:
Do I have the stories
Fun is where you find it

And you know we want to hear them!!!
gotta love ya

post #12 of 20
This one happened this weekend.
Several of the instructors at our SS were in a clinic for or level one exam prep. After our little pep talk and we headed out onto the hill we all got in line with the clinician. As we go through the line, the lifty is checking our badges/tickets and the clinician pulls up to the front of the line. He doesn't remember which side he put his ticket and lifts up the right side of his jacket and pushes his hip out to show her his ticket (it's on the left hip) She peeks around and says in her Aussie accent "Are you showing me your a**" We all start to laugh and he realizes the ticket is on the other side. As we pull up to the chair she comments "it's a great a**" and laughs along with us.
post #13 of 20
Ryel, I'll insert them where appropriate in a thread, I don't want to start another "Whose got a story thread"...

post #14 of 20
Thread Starter 
We was at a ski resort in Canada just north of the Michigan border with a bunch of ski buddies one weekend. We were all just messing around all weekend due to the snow kind of lacking. All of us were hanging out in the ski bar there and had already rung up quite the bar tab. One friend had been drinking quite a bit and really did not need much more when a local said that we should do a flaming shot with him. Well not to be outdone, we were all game. So this local takes the shot, lights it, whips his pants down and puts it on his butt cheek. Flame goes out, creats a suction and shot glass sticks to his ass! He then takes the shot, blows the smoke off it, and drinks it. My other (also drunk) friend, does the same but with the shot over his nipple, burning a ring of hair around his nipple, making him look really stupid in the hot tub for the rest of the trip. Now, the friend, who has been drinking for some time is not going to let the nipple win so: Picture this in slow, drunkin motion: Friend lights shot, stands up, drops trau, tries to place shot on cheek. Too drunk, spills flaming shot down crack, lighting himself on fire (not a pretty smell or sight), and still gets the glass to stick. Forgets he is on fire. Of course, being the friends that we are, we laugh and take pictures. Well, other patrons are trying to put his ass out with their hands, towels, or whatever they can get a hold of. So of course, he cannot figure out why these people are all hitting him in the ass like this, so he is trying to fight them. Of course, we are laughing at him. He gets his butt put out and we go on with our night of drinking and stuff. This was not the only story to come out of the night, but that is for some other time. The next morning, we are all still in bed when we hear screams from the shower, he found his mistake and it was a pretty bad burn. Of course, for the rest of the trip, we did whatever we could to get people to hit him in the ass, didn't want him to forget about that!

Best part was one of his friends took the digital picture of the flaming ass and put it on the ski teams web site! He still has a scar to this day!
post #15 of 20
So Alta, where's the picture?????
post #16 of 20
Thread Starter 
I'm not sure what ever happened to that one, I think the victim of the fire might have done something with it. Something to do with law school, or a background check.
post #17 of 20
I was back country with my girlfriend up Buffalo Pass in Steamboat when our group ran into a bunch of “sledheads” that got one of their snowmobiles stuck in a tree well. It was kind of funny. I wish someone had a camera; never seen anything quite like it.
post #18 of 20
Many years ago I was skiing with a group of friends at Jiminy Peak in western Massachusetts. One guy who was with us was on something like his third day skiing, I myself had been skiing since I was a small child. This guy had no technique yet but had worked up the bravado to point both skis in the same direction and go fast.

Anyway, the gang was skiing down this very wide intermediate/beginner run that had permanent snow gun placements down the center of the trail at maybe 30 yard intervals. A little peak had built up on the downhill side of each placement from when the guns had been on and I was slaloming back and forth and catching a couple inches of air off these for fun. Being one of the more advanced skiers, I was well ahead of the group. The guy I mentioned above decided that he was going to try to keep up with me since he'd discovered how to go fast, and was trying to do everything I was doing.

As I came to the last placement, I hit the little peak and my skis instantly froze to it. The gun must have been on recently and the snow was very wet and amazingly sticky. Both skis stopped, I didn't. I got a double release, went flying through the air and landed face down about 8 feet in front of my skis.

As I was shaking off the impact, I heard a bunch of laughter coming from people down the slope. I picked my face up out of the snow and looked to my left, which was downhill. A group of people I didn't know were laughing an pointing at me. I had to laugh a little too, it was pretty funny. Then I hear one of them say "They both did it!" Puzzled for a second what they meant, I turned and looked back over my left shoulder and saw 4 ski tips sticking up from the little snowgun jump. I turned my head to the right and there was the newbie speed demon, lying and arms length away in the same belly-flopped position.
post #19 of 20

I'm keeping a blog of my funny ski stories from potato crumble to vomiting from a chairlift.



post #20 of 20

This is a 13 year bump, but here goes.


Location: Laramie Bowl - Jackson Hole Wy.


Our little posse had taken the hike out to Pinedale and were getting a couple of laps inbounds before returning to the base area. We had a guy named Rob with us. As we got off of Thunder Chair, we made the turn into Laramie Bowl and it was pretty much empty so we put on the speed down to Sublette. Our little group were all advanced to expert skiers going on about 80 days for the season and this was our home mountain. Big speed can be perceived a little different when you are on your 80th day of the season. Anyway, I guess our speed scared a guy even though we didn't get within 15 yards of him. We got down to Sublette and we were getting a shot of water when this guy skis up and pokes Rob in the chest and says with attitude:


Guy: "Hey, I guess you just know where I'm going to turn?"

Rob: "Well, yeah man, I got telepathy"

Guy: " Oh yeah, well if you got telepathy, you can tell me what I'm thinking"

Rob: "I'll tell you exactly what you're thinking man...you're thinking I'm an asshole"


Nobody could keep a straight face. We all just cracked up. The guy must have had a good sense of humor because he started laughing too. We ended up skiing a couple of runs with him before heading down to the base. As we were parting ways with him, he thanked us for having him along and he said that he had never skied that fast in mixed terrain and he was thrilled to have had the experience. A couple of days later, myself and one of the posse get on the gondola and who is in the car with us? The same guy and he was telling his friend the story. We all got another good laugh on the way up. Great memories.

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