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Investment Advice 2009

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
Subject: Investment tips for 2009


Investment tips for 2009 for all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.

Watch for these consolidations in 2009.

1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. Will merge and become:

Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2.) PolyGram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become:

Poly, Warner Cracker.

3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become:

MMMGood.

4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become:

ZipAudiDoDa

5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become:

FedUP.

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:

Fairwell Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become:

PouponPants.

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become:

Knott NOW!

And finally

9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name:

TittyTittyBang Bang

post #2 of 16
LOL - great one!!
post #3 of 16
Classic investment humor.

If you don't mind, what was the source for this?
post #4 of 16
That was funny.
post #5 of 16
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by SkierScott View Post
Classic investment humor.

If you don't mind, what was the source for this?
As far as I can tell one of the campuses of UNC....
post #6 of 16
Some of those are pretty good. Some have been around for years -- I first heard "Fairwell Honeychild" when I went to work for Fairchild Test systems in 1979.
post #7 of 16
And my father told me about Stop and Shop merging with A&P to form Stop and P. That must have been around 1970.
post #8 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mapnut View Post
And my father told me about Stop and Shop merging with A&P to form Stop and P. That must have been around 1970.
yeah...we had both chains in Boston. In '72 I told that joke to my conservative grandfather and he scowled.
post #9 of 16
The Raminar Group is going to merge with Dickson Industries.
post #10 of 16
Wow.... I'm chillin behind the counter at the shop reading this and man got a good laugh from it. THANK YOU
post #11 of 16
If you had purchased $1,000.
of Delta Air Lines stock one year ago you
would have $49.00 left.

With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00.

With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.

But, if you had purchased $1,000.
worth of beer one year ago, drank
all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling
REFUND, you would have $214.00 cash.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink
heavily and recycle.

It's called the 401-Keg Plan.


post #12 of 16
excellent! Great advice for a Friday
post #13 of 16

Re:Investment Advice 2009

Thanks for the advice .you have rightly guided us at the right time.
---
sathyan

Make Money
post #14 of 16
Norfolk Southern Railroad teaming up with WAY Motor Frieght to become Norfolk & Way. The Bob and Tom show did a skit on that theme about 13 or 14 years ago and I about died laughing.
post #15 of 16
right on -- mike aswell
post #16 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pierre View Post

Norfolk Southern Railroad teaming up with WAY Motor Freight to become Norfolk & Way. The Bob and Tom show did a skit on that theme about 13 or 14 years ago and I about died laughing.

Yes, but you have to know the proper pronunciation of Norfolk.   I was stationed there for 5 years.  Boy were my Northern ears opened up to new ways of pronunciation, Y'all.
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