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New ski marketing plan

post #1 of 38
Thread Starter 
In the Ski Gear section, we've been discussing the Gateful Dead ski Olin put out a few years back. I think in order to broaden skiing's appeal to a wider audience, skiing needs to go back to this cross-marketing approach. We need to ressurect this marketing concept. To heck with what ski the Herminator uses, how about a few new models to wake slumping ski sales?

K2 Britiny Spears - All shape, no substance. Has unfortunate tendency that evertime you look at it, the tips seem to get bigger.

Rossignol Sting - All mountain ski that is capable of incredibly varied performances, but never seems to want to stay in one direction.

Kneissel Academy of Ancient Music - The purists ski - all wood, no edges. For those that believe that Aspen can only be enjoyed if you ski it on the skis it was originally designed for.

Rossignol CSN & Y - Unique ski that comes apart and gets together...over and over and over again.

Any other suggestions?
post #2 of 38
How about the Volant JFK jr. ski? It's damp.
post #3 of 38
K2 Super Kenny G For those who ski the same slopes over and over and over and over at high speed.

Volant Lorena Bobbitt Super Carve to keep all those dicks off the slopes

Dynastar Nasdaq 2001 DH for the quickest plunge to the bottom possible
post #4 of 38
Salomon Bin Laden - Stupidly puts you onto runs you can't handle before you realize that you're in WAY over your head.
post #5 of 38
Jane Fonda Chameleon -- every year there's a brand new model.
post #6 of 38
Salomon X-Scream bin Laden Pilot 10 for crashing into the base lodge

Atomic José Carreras, Atomic Plácido Domingo, and Atomic Luciano Pavarotti: The Three Ten.ex
post #7 of 38
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by GeoffD:

Atomic José Carreras, Atomic Plácido Domingo, and Atomic Luciano Pavarotto: The Three Ten.ex

: I gotta tell my wife that one. (She hates my puns).
(edit) better add my effort:
Elan’s New Tony Soprano – Just when you start get comfortable with it, flies off and breaks some kneecaps (Special Factory Financing Available).
post #8 of 38
Rossignol Viagra: Old model thats the stiffest around, has a bluish look to it

K2 Quervo: Makes you feel invincible even while you're laid up in the hospital after the crash

Elan Pinto: Spontaneously Combusts when ran over in the lift line

man I could do these all day long :
post #9 of 38
Volkl Marilyn Monroes: Curvy Carver Girls for whom Diamonds are a Girls Best Friend
post #10 of 38
Head SCSA -

Ah c'mon, you can guys can guess this one, right?

Better than 97% of the skis on the market!

post #11 of 38
Let's not overlook

HEAD Monica Blue Dressers

Ski pants with reinforced knees reccommended, and make sure to use that special liquid wax. [img]tongue.gif[/img]
post #12 of 38
Thread Starter 
ROFL Great posts. LM, can't wait to see the graphics on that new ski of yours!

one more...

K2 Ozzy Osborne - An eastern ski. You should see what it does to frozen chicken heads!!
post #13 of 38
A favorite from the 80's: The Salomon George Michael Force 9 Rear Entry Boot.
Combines stiffness with EZ in/out.
post #14 of 38
Some of these ski models are way too funny. I would like to ask everyone that posted these models if I may use them on my website. Of course you will be credited for your wit. Thanks for the laughts.
post #15 of 38
Thread Starter 
Slider, fine by me. Copy away!
post #16 of 38
Yes, make us famous! Just tell us the url!
post #17 of 38
Have uploaded a new page with the ski models that people have given me the ok. It is a hidden link behind the bottom picture on kokotele. The hobby site is better suited for a highband width,so it takes time to load the main page.The URL for the page is http://www.kokotele.com/newski.htm
Thanks all
post #18 of 38
Help yourself.
post #19 of 38

Get rid of that obnoxious blue background color - hard on the eyes!
post #20 of 38
The Head Bill Clinton...and btw, wear suspenders, your pants will have a tendency to drop.
post #21 of 38
I hope the page is more to your liking,SCSA.
post #22 of 38
How about-

The K2 Michael Bolton:
Will allow you to ski any previously established/marked trail and claim a first descent. Makes even the most extreme skiing seem ho-hum.

post #23 of 38
The Atomic Dog.
George Clinton's face featured in the graphics. The tip is pink. The tail tends to be a little "waggy."
The Atomic Punk.
Eddie Van Halen's face. (David Lee Roth WAY in the background, almost disappearing.) THE ski for the scary steeps of Ventura Blvd.
The Salomon Grundy.
A true everyday ski. Except weekends. It tends to "go dead."
The Fischer King.
Simply, The Holy Grail of skis.
The Igneous Pop.
Nuff said.
The Elan Degeneres.
Women's only ski.
The Hart Less.
Short ski, Motto: "For when less is more, more or less."
The K2 Kaelin.
The ski for all who aspire to ride free.Graphics include different shades of blond. Not a long-lasting ski.
The Rossi Russell.
For the old-timers who remember what shaped skis USED to be shaped like. (Word of mouth: "Bland.") Available in vanilla tones.
post #24 of 38
Raichle Flexon Comp *Phil Pugliese signature model. Need I say more?

*Shameless self promotion
post #25 of 38
A few skis that never made it into production:
The K2 Knightrider Ski. This was the first ski to use the "smartski" technology, complete with a flashing red light on the front. Also came with a nifty leather jacket. Unfortunately, it tended to irritate testers by uttering warnings such as "Watch out for those bumps, Michael!". K2 is still in a legal battle with Rossignol for alleged patent violations regarding their Viper series.
The Rush Limbaugh Ski. Designed to match his line of gaudy ties, they were found to be heavy, and had the odd characteristic of only turning right.
The Dynastar Tommy Lee BIG. Was found to be too much for female testers to handle.
post #26 of 38
Feel free to use my one (lame) attempt!
post #27 of 38
Thread Starter 
Can't resist the temptation

Head VP Gore - one run on these suckers and you'll claim you invented skiing!
post #28 of 38
Volant AC-DC - reputed to be a heavy metal
'twin tip.'

Head Claim Jumper - A ski that only accepts inputs in the form of primary movements.

Salomon Bill Gates sig. ed. - sold only with Salomon boot and bindings attached.

K2 KP Dutie - the new board member's latest contribution.
post #29 of 38
Thread Starter 
Reading about the tie-dyed Deadhead shirts in the "Killer" thread, reminding me about the Olin Grateful Dead skis and this thread. Thought it might be time to bring it back for some new additions. Anyone?
post #30 of 38
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=8427528910&rd=1&sspage name=STRK%3AMEWA%3AIT&rd=1

Maybe you will be the proud owner of this fine garment!

I think it's just what you need to complete your ensemble.
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