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Stupidest Thing You've Done on Skis... - Page 3

post #61 of 87
Left them at home and headed to the slopes with a borrowed snowboard.
post #62 of 87
Not one of my finer moments.

Grade 9 - my first time skiing, many, many years ago before skis had brakes. I was asked to go skiing by some buddies, had my older sisters 215's but her boots were too small. Borrowed a pair of bigger boots ... after all ... how tough could it be to drill skis and remount bindings ? Being handy and all, I had a screwdriver in my jeans back pocket to make any required adjustments on the fly. Sounded like a good idea at the time.

Late afternoon, I fell, one boot didn't release (Good thing I had the screwdriver), spent the rest of the winter in a cast.

It is kinda fun being dragged down a hill behind a snowmobile though.

RMP
post #63 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by Finndog View Post
well, drink a lot of coffee at high altitude, then, ski on a powder day in the trees, stop and brace yourself in a wedge, do your best at knowing where your tips are, it's amazing how quickly the pee reaches freezing temps and how much snow get saturated and affixes to the ski...... WARNING, when slapping against snow to clear off, don't stand nearby.....
At least you kept your skis on...my cousin and I were on an empty run when he decided to take off his skis (or maybe it was his snowboard) in the trees to answer natures call. Sunk in close to his waist just before my dad comes by with a big group lesson and asks him what he is doing in the trees.
post #64 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richie-Rich View Post
Arewolf that reminds me.

I am going to amend my STUDOS (Stupidest Thing U've Done On Skis) contribution. Actually crashing and hurting myself badly was not the stupidest thing. The actual sheer stupidity was after the patroller came to my aid and highly suggested I take a sled down and get some xrays, I refused. I even had to sign off and have my cousin sign and witness that I refused assistance against their better judgement. Here I was broken back (compressed vertebrae) and a broken thumb, only 1/4 of the way down a black diamond run, and I insist that I can ski down. I did ski down, in sheer agony with my insides on fire (the pain felt like it was emanating from within my bowls since the crushed bone faced my core).

I went on to learn that after such an injury as mine the vertebrae becomes almost like a sponge and is MOST EASLIY FURTHER DAMAGED AND COMPRESSED. Of course then I went on to pack 50 lbs of skis gear over my shoulders and walk to the car.......where is my crown?


Dude, that is no good. I smashed my tail bone plenty of times in my rollerblading youth (hey it was cool in 1992 ) and that was painful. But a broken vertebrae, yuck, that's just brutal.
post #65 of 87

Vlad the Impaler

Impale myself on a tree.
post #66 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyrone Shoelaces View Post


Hard to pick just one....


This made me laugh.

For me:

When I was younger that little voice inside constantly reminded me of the two kinds of fast:

1) So fast that if don't stop you'll die.

and

2) So fast if you try to stop you'll die.
post #67 of 87
I went skiing at a smaller place mid week so it wouldn't be packed and I could take my time and enjoy myself. Little did I know that two church buses would be there. I didn't want to carry my skis all the way to the other side so I hurried to get geared up and on the closest lift before the crowd I'm in the middle of bottle necks it. I go out the door of the lodge to see everyone that came on the buses heading over to the same lift. From the sounds and look of the crowd, most either hadn't skied in years or couldn't ski. All of them were moving like snails just milling around and not sure what to do. There were a few instructors "trying to herd cats" without much luck (they were way out numbered by the cats). I decided to click in real quick before they made it to the lift. I just wanted to hurry up and get on the mountain (still needed to make another lift ride) to get fresh snow and once to the top and on the other side, I would have my serenity. Since what I lack in height I make up for in gerth, the bottom of my snow pants were between my boot and binding preventing my binding from really clicking in but I didn't realize it. I started skating to the lift and the third time I went to put my left leg out, there wasn't a ski there. I face planted infront of God and everyone and as I was spitting out the snow, I heard a father say to his kids "That's why we're going to take a lesson first."
post #68 of 87
Silver horn, 1986, crappy snow near the bottom runout at the lower point of the mtn. I got tired of trying to turn in wet manky stuff and decide, "hey, I can just straightline it from here". I manage to make it down to the cat track, but I catch one ski in the ungroomed side of the trail. I can remember a couple of somersaults and then lying on my back staring at one of my skis stuck in the snowbank, still quivering.

Mentally checking all bodyparts afterward, nothing too far out of alignment.

Other than that, probably the stupidest is following far better skiers down runs I had no business on. That which does not kill you makes you a better skier.
post #69 of 87
Oh. I'm sorry. You said stupidest. My last one was really just embarrasing.

Stupid (not even most stupid) is heading into the glades (sort of glades anyways) at a small mountain that I had been to many times but not in this glade. They aren't really marked well and I head to the location the staff described to me and take what I think is the trail that leads to them.

Well you know how the youngins' like to just sort of snake in and out of the woods along the groomers? It ends up I'm on one of those trails. It's barely wide enough for two skis and many branches are hanging down as low as 3 feet across the trail. The easiest way out is to follow it since they aren't usually that long (so I thought). I'm bobbing and weaving the best I can and come to a bunch of branches that are barely 3 feet from the ground. Theres no way my ski poles are going to blast me through that tangled mess. I'm only 5'7 but that still requires me to squat down quick. Since I have a profound love for beer, my belly pushes my feet apart and my left ski hooks a sapling. I face plant yet again and as I'm sliding down hill I'm looking up the trail and see that my left ski is still hookied on the sapling. I was just happy that my boot wasn't still in my ski. I had 30 more feet of kiddy trail and 20 feet of walking through the woods. Off comes the other ski and a short walk through the woods and I'm back on the adult size trails.

The rest of the year while skiing with the kids, they would ask me if I wanted to follow them in the woods and I would just tell them "I'm good." Those Kiddy trails are way too dangerous.
post #70 of 87
Went to Blue Mountain. Damn dumb.
post #71 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by L&AirC View Post
Stupid (not even most stupid) is heading into the glades (sort of glades anyways) at a small mountain that I had been to many times but not in this glade. They aren't really marked well and I head to the location the staff described to me and take what I think is the trail that leads to them.
It's no better at bigger mountains. I remember finding a steep run somewhere around Mt. Washington on Vancouver Island. I figured what the hay, I'll just ski in a general downward direction and keep the peak on my left to get back to base. I ended up doing a few hours of cross-country skiing in alpine gear. It took longer because I had to use my SGs to pack down thorn a lot bushes so I didn't get ripped to shreads.

Don't ski back country alone when you don't know the area. In fact, don't ski back country alone. That was pretty stupid. At least I didn't encounter a tree well or avalanche.
post #72 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ghost View Post
I'll just ski in a general downward direction and keep the peak on my left to get back to base.
reminds me of the time me and two buddies did this with much the same results. except one buddy had diabetes and absolutely nothing to manage it with on him. er, dumb on his part, scared the living crap out of us.
post #73 of 87
Landed it switch and skied it to the road.
post #74 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by connersw View Post
Landed it switch and skied it to the road.
Landed on my face and went to the hospital.
post #75 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skiing-in-Jackson View Post
This made me laugh.

1) So fast that if don't stop you'll die.

and

2) So fast if you try to stop you'll die.
Its the in-between that causes the most problems.
post #76 of 87
skiing at mt hood a few summers back. i decided to kick back on a pile of snow and take a nap...with my skis on. someone thought it'd be funny to reposition me, and i woke up sliding down the hill at a good rate about 8 feet from a boulder. I broke a pole and ripped two buckles off my boots.
post #77 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by altaskier11 View Post
skiing at mt hood a few summers back. i decided to kick back on a pile of snow and take a nap...with my skis on. someone thought it'd be funny to reposition me, and i woke up sliding down the hill at a good rate about 8 feet from a boulder. I broke a pole and ripped two buckles off my boots.

I know you didn't think so at the time, and the consequences could have been dire.....but that is some funny sh!t.
post #78 of 87
Skiing in Chehoslovakia,I just left my brand new Atomic's(red and flashy!) near the middlemountain lodge and went to have some bear before last descent. No ski waited for me when i come out,but the stupiedest thing was to go to local police station to complain.They looked at me as if i was a real moron (which i certainly was!) and asked me if i really want them to find a thief and the ski. No limit to human stupidity...
post #79 of 87
3:00 PM, last run of the day, I'm with my group of kids I teach all day. We're well less than half a run from the lodge, maybe 300' vert to go. We had our skis off because we were doing a boot drill on a road next to the trail. I click into my skis, feel a bit of ice in one heel but ignore it, heck, I need to ski maybe 40-50 seconds to get to the base. Why take it off and clean it with that little to go, what can happen?

I send the kids down ahead of me and then take off. Make about six or eight turns and I'm up to full speed and my ski comes flying off and I toe-plant my boot in a pile of crud, spin around, and crash big time. Ankle hurts like heck but I click in and ski the rest of the way down.

I ice the ankle and get it checked the next day but no break. Sucked though because I was supposed to head up to a two-day event the next day and had to cancel. I missed about two weeks skiing and was definitely not full strength for another couple weeks after that.

Lesson-- never ever ski off, even just a few turns, if your binding doesn't feel right.
post #80 of 87
Convince myself I didn't need to turn to ski Highlands Bowl.


That wasn't even all that dumb, since it worked out fine the first time, but the really truly moronic move was to convince myself I needed to go back up and do it again, after it had seen some more skier traffic and the pow was no longer perfect.
post #81 of 87
Below is probably the stupidest thing ANYBODY ever did on skis.

Warning, some nudity and lots of stupidity.

Maybe it also belongs in the MA threads?

[/quote]
post #82 of 87


That was hilarious.....guy's got guts. Wonder if the doctor was able to make his testicles descend after shrinkage of that magnitude.
post #83 of 87
The more I think about it the more I think I might know that fool. One night after after the "weakly" instructor clinics at "the Bored Meeting" in the bar this new guy was trying to impress the ladies. He asked the cook to bring out some jalapeno peppers (there was a Mexican restaurant on the floor below the bar). Despite pleas not to do it he ate six in a row. He then ceased talking/bragging and pounded at least two pitchers of tap beer. As I was leaving I saw him stumbling around in the parking lot scooping snow in to his mouth as a police car pulled up

He looked just like that guy

He never came back to work there. I never saw him again
post #84 of 87
Even Skiing without a helmet for 39 years or skiing with a broken shoulder for 3.
You guys choose
post #85 of 87
post #86 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ghost View Post
What he asked for and what he got may have been entirely different. I only witnessed the results
post #87 of 87
Ok, here's another one.

About five years ago I decided I'd like to do a bit of ski trip documentation so I scoured ebay all summer long and got a great deal on a Canon Elura vid cam. I took some hand held footage while skiing and even took an old helmet and made a mount on top. Very little success with either technique.

The next year I contacted a friend that had moved to Denver to see if he wanted to go to ABasin with me. He cried broke but I had an idea. I knew he had a bit of video experience so I told him I'd buy him a lift ticket if he would spend half the day shooting me. Cool, he said.

It was a good day, about 10" of fresh. He showed up a little late (after I had a really nice first track run down Exhibition) and we went quickly over the workings of the camera and off we went. We did some super runs down the alleys, a couple down Pali Main Street and a few down Standard and 13 Cornices. A really fun day and I thought my skiing was mostly pretty good. I was psyched.

My plan for the shots was to ski into them and out of them and my friend agreed this would make for good footage. Now this dude is a real cool, funny guy and he took it upon himself to narrate the action. Funny stuff.

Later that evening I went to review the scenes. Seems that I had instructed him to push the wrong button to start the tape so each time he went to shoot video he was actually capturing a still image that stayed on the tape for five seconds. Yeah, the shot was static but sound was dynamic so for each 'scene' the result was a landscape pic accompanied by him bantering on......"here comes bumpfreaq, one of the best skiers in the world tearing up the Third Alley here at Arapahoe Basin! Look at that air, wooohooo!"

I never told him how it turned out. Too embarrassing, too heart breaking.
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