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Real skier vs expert skier

post #1 of 30
Thread Starter 
not sure if this has been here before:

Real Versus Expert Skier
Expert Skier: Drives to the local resort in the Beemer with the skis on the rack upside down, tips back, ...
Real Skier: Hasn't dug his/her 1976 Ford F150 Pickup out since the last time he got an impound
warning for impeding snow removal, walks to the lift, never shows his pass.

Expert Skier: Got a great deal on the latest in ski gear at Sniagrab.
Real Skier: Picked up a used set at a garage sale and found his bindings in the dumpster outside his apartment.

Expert Skier: Goes out to a fine restaurant for dinner apres ski.
Real Skier: Is his waiter.

Expert Skier: His favorite run has a name like Jaws of Death, Outer Limits, White Heat, or some such.
Real Skier: His favorite run has no name.

Expert Skier: Counts the number of days he skied last season.
Real Skier: Counts the number of days he missed all year.

Expert Skier: Wishes the ski season was longer.
Real Skier: Didn't realize skiing was restricted to a particular season, only that sometimes the lifts run and sometimes they don't.
post #2 of 30
What a shame that a real skier can't also be an expert skier

post #3 of 30
Thread Starter 
Oh my, do not want stir anything up. Just thought it was humerous.

I can relate to dinner, counting the days and wishing the season was longer. Other than that, I am not good enough for either category.

Oh well there is the next season, then the next, then the next, fates willing.<FONT size="1">

[This message has been edited by Kima (edited June 05, 2001).]</FONT>
post #4 of 30
There is a new instructor at our area. He's about 17ish.

Old beat up Head straights and bindings that scare me, Hanson rear entry boots that you can tell by looking..... they don't fit.

He is a world all his own and doesn't fit in with the "hot crowd" ..... his own age.

A little on the goofy side cause he is always "imaging"........

Guess who is gonna blow everyones doors off in a few years?
post #5 of 30
Hey Gonzo am I the person to whom you are referring, yes I have returned!!!
post #6 of 30

no. sorry. ain't you. (look up ACRONYM.)(maybe we can be inventive, though, in deciding the "acronymity" of G-D-U-B-S. that could become veddy interestink, no?)

examples of acronyms: NORAD, SCUBA, NATO, um...PSIA, um...PMTS, um...GDUBS?<FONT size="1">

[This message has been edited by ryan (edited June 06, 2001).]</FONT>
post #7 of 30
Thread Starter 
Ryan lots of them came to mind...To much of a weenie to post them though
post #8 of 30

what the heck got you to bangkok? didja ever get to phuket or chiang mai?
post #9 of 30
Thread Starter 
Oh my you must have read an old post. Yes to Phuket no to Chaing Mai. The short story, I was working with IBM in Beijing China and was evacuated to Bangkok after the Tiananmen
Square massacre. Stayed for 6 months. Would have stayed longer, perhaps lots longer, but IBM could not get me a work permit. I certainly was not going back to Beijing so back to the US.
<FONT size="1">

[This message has been edited by Kima (edited June 06, 2001).]</FONT>
post #10 of 30
What did you do for big blue?
are you still with them?
I worked for them until a few years ago as service tech. OP then NSD then PSD and a spinoff TSS. Then back to PSD and then I got tired of the late nights long days and left.
IBM=I Be Moved...
post #11 of 30
Thread Starter 
dchan. I was hired as a contract worker for China. My title was "Marketing Trainer” what I really did mainly was try to get visas for the PRC Nationals so that they could go to various countries for training. Working at that time in China was like working in the 1950s. No automation lots, of footwork between embassies. As you can imagine working for IBM in a communist country was a bit different. Great experience for me. I really had no idea what it meant to live in a communist country. No idea at all.

Funny thing about IBM, they re-named everyone. So the PRC Nationals all had names like Sam, Bob, Joe. To be fair they gave all the expatriates Chinese names, cannot remember my name but it meant “ healthy cow” very nice
post #12 of 30

I visited china in 1982 and 1992 both on vacations and to visit my grandparents villages. We stayed at a lot of small places so I got a good view of how the locals lived. Yes an eye opener. I had a wonderful time but sure would not want to live there. It really makes you think about how lucky we are to live in such "luxury". Even the homeless here in the US have it better than most villagers in China in my opinion.
I don't remember the word for healthy but cow would be "ngow" in cantonese. You were in northern china so would most likely be mandarin. (that's about the limit of my translating skills) I do speak broken cantonese.
post #13 of 30
Thread Starter 
Your right on about the living conditions.
I swore that when I got home I would not lust after material things. Of course I do, but try to keep them in perspective.
post #14 of 30
funny story, when I first came to colorado, I did not bring my skis but I brought my boots since I was travelling with one backpack. I was at my brothers apartment and we wanted to do a little summer skiing up on Grays peak, well the local shops were no longer renting. One day a pair of skis were sitting up in the dumpster of his apartment complex. I pulled them out and they fit my boots perfectly, I carried them up Grays peak and got my first taste of colorado skiing.
post #15 of 30

went to thailand (that first night in bangkok was...interesting) a few years ago and there's a good chance of getting back this year. enjoyed the countryside, and phuket, and out to Phi Phi island. water was just gorgeous. anyway, looks like maybe heading north this year.

last year, in indonesia, was the real eye-opener, as far as world poverty. and the economic/political tension in the air was palpable. i'm not seer, but what's happening there now is absolutely no surprise.

one really appreciates what one takes for granted when one gets away from the land of the lucky.
post #16 of 30
Thread Starter 
Good story WP.

Bangkok interesting you say... Ryan, whatever do you mean?

Ok how about
Expert Skier: Thinks Vail is the resort of all resorts.

Real Skier: Tells everyone that Vail is the resort of all resorts.

Expert Skier: Thinks snowboarders are pretty damn funny.

Real Skier: Thinks snowboarders are pretty damn funny.
post #17 of 30
Real expert skier: Know's they're good but wants to get better and doesn't tell others "I'm better than ...".

Real expert skier: Skis for the enjoyment/passion yet is always ready to stop and help out someone in need.

I'm not an expert... I'm on a journey towards expertise
post #18 of 30

Real/Expert Skiers can be found in Aspen,Deer Valley,Breckenridge,Whistler, Alta, Snowbird Park City etc.

Expert/Real Skiers can also be found in these locations and else where.

Take a trip, and you will find out.
post #19 of 30
Thread Starter 
I would LOVE to take a trip. Have travel fever. I put the Vail one in mainly to poke a little fun at myself.

BTW I Plagiarized. I am not nearly this clever.
post #20 of 30
I am highly aware of the definition of the word acronym, and my name fits the definition...


-God Damn my Uther Bong Sucks.
-Geez i'm Drunk Uff this Bad Sh*t
-Good Dog's Up in some Bloody Snot
-Graham (my name) is a Drug User and other B*tchin Sh*t
-Gone are the Days Uf Booze and talking Smack
-please Give D*cks Up Because they shouldn't be Sucked
post #21 of 30
Oh yes, Ryan, since you had an "interesting" first night there would you say the name BANG KOK properly describes the city?
post #22 of 30
Sorry Dude, it was SCSA
post #23 of 30

to answer your question...No, I would not. "Fascinating, exotic, complex, frantic, mysterious," yes. And "interesting."

I'd tell ya more, Dublin, but since Wink's post about showering with one's ski boots on ("160 DAYS TILL...") really seemed to affect you, I'm afraid what I might have to say could scar you for life. <FONT size="1">

[This message has been edited by ryan (edited June 07, 2001).]</FONT>
post #24 of 30
The thing we have to think about here is how the "original" skiier evolved....
"Real" and "Expert" skiiers are like two offsprings with their own genetic mutations.
If you look back at skiing, there has always been somewhat of a rivalry inbetween the rich people who ski because its expensive, and the people who ski becaus ethey like to ski....
What teh funny thing is, is (and I'm not getting into a "I hate boarders" sesh @ ALL) is that snowbaorders have always been punk-asses, and skiiers have always had a part of them being snobby....just something to think about

G-Dubs: you remind me A LOT of a boy named graham I know--- very freakish

"When hell freezes over, I'll ski there too"
post #25 of 30
Expert (but not real) skiers just ski.

REAL skiers (expert or not) spend way too much time talking about skiing, on the computer, all summer long.
post #26 of 30
Expert skiers ski bumps because they can. Real skiers do it because they can't help it.
post #27 of 30
When on vacation at a ski area for the first time:

Expert skiers spend way too much time reading trail maps to figure out where to ski that day.

Real skiers just "head thata way" because there is no terrain they don't enjoy or can't handle.

Along those lines...

Expert skiers will skip skiing because the "expert" terrain isn't open.

Real skiers will ski even if beginner terrain is the only thing open, and have a great time.
post #28 of 30
Greetings Thrillseekers from the fringe element of the web.....http://www.kokotele.com/snowjoke.htm
post #29 of 30
Real skier: WWW incommunicado 'cause he/she can't crawl to girlfriend's/boyfriend's computer(knee injury) Expert skier has assistant bring palm device and laptop to their private suite at Steadman's
post #30 of 30
An oldie , but perhaps worth repeating - an expert is a man who knows 1001 ways to make love, but doesn't know any women….


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