Timber Tigers (Timberline in summer), Moose, Bobcat, my wife (then GF) skiing backwards and bare assed down Mt. Bachelor with her pants firmly snugged around her knees. I could go on but why?
Here is the short version of the wife story:
Here is a story I told in an earlier post, two posts actually. It was in response to Lucky’s post, which follows:
Even if you aren't a skier, you'll be able to appreciate the humor of the slopes as written by a New Orleans paper.
"A friend just got back from a holiday skiing trip to Utah with the kind of story that warms the cockles of anybody's heart. Conditions were perfect, 12 below, no feeling in the toes, basic numbness all over, the "tell me when we're having fun" kind of day.
One of the women in the group complained to her husband that she was in dire need of a restroom. He told her not to worry, that he was sure there was relief waiting at the top of the lift in the form of a powder room for female skiers in distress. He was wrong, of course, and the pain did not go away. If you've ever had nature hit its panic button in you, then you know that a temperature of 12 below doesn't help matters. So, with time running out, the woman weighed her options. Her husband, picking up on the intensity of the pain, suggested that since she was wearing an all-white ski outfit, she should go off in the woods and no one would even notice, he assured her. The white will provide more than adequate camouflage. So she headed for the tree line, began lowering her ski pants, and proceeded to do her thing. If you've ever parked on the side of a slope, then you know there is a right way and wrong way to set your skis so you don't move.
Yup, you got it!!! She had them positioned the wrong way. Steep slopes are not forgiving, even during the most embarrassing moments. Without warning, the woman found herself skiing backward, out-of-control, racing through the trees, somehow missing all of them and onto another slope. Her derriere and the reverse side were still bare, her pants down around Her knees, and she was picking up speed all the while. She continued backwards, totally out-of-control, creating an unusual vista for the other skiers. The woman skied, back under the lift, and finally collided violently with a pylon. The bad news was that she broke her arm and was unable to pull up her ski pants. At long last her husband arrived, put an end to her nudie show, and then summoned the ski patrol. They transported her to a hospital. While in the emergency room, a man with an obviously broken leg was put in the bed next to hers. "So, how'd you break your leg?" she asked, making small talk. "It was the darndest thing you
ever saw", he said. "I was riding up this ski lift and suddenly I
couldn't believe my
eyes. There was this crazy woman skiing backward out-of-control, down the mountain, with her bare bottom hanging out of her clothes and her pants down around her knees. I leaned over to get a better look and fell out of the lift." "So, how'd you break your arm?"
It is hard to admit but something similar happened to my wife at Mt. Bachelor 10 or 12 years ago. She stopped in the trees near the old red chair to take a quick pee. She dropped her pants and when she squatted, the snow behind gave way just enough to start her sliding backwards. She actually slid out of the trees and into view of the red chair before she fell over. As I remember, she was in view of the chair for a few minutes while trying to stand up and pull up her pants.
I couldn't help her since I was laughing so hard I couldn't stand up.
Wife and I spoke last night, and she thinks the "event" occurred closer to the Outback lift. Hmmm, maybe, but I doubt it. She wasn't really ready yet to talk about the whole thing, still too traumatic I guess.
PowderJukie, the only reason wife is not a widow is: 1. I had just finished and zipped up (and therefore didn’t burst my bladder and die). 2. I was standing on a nice flat spot when she dropped out of sight. At first I thought she slid just a few feet, not as far as she actually did. That gave me just enough time to compose myself before skiing down and seeing just how bad the situation was. Fortunately, the only thing hurt was her pride.
I have to say that she was as mad as a wet hornet for quite a while. Apparently, I didn't do the knight in shining armor routine quickly enough. I was laughing so hard I had trouble standing even once I got down to her.
The expression on her face as she slowly disappeared, priceless, for everything else there's MasterCard.
It really was a touching and romantic moment.