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Ski Trip

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
As I was getting everything packed for our trip to Steamboat, I was going over everything I have learned so far on Epicski.

1. Doesn't matter what type of ski, as they are ether to long, to short, to stiff, or to soft.

2. Get ski coat with 51 zippers.

3. Remember to pack one stone for each ski boot, has to be somthing wrong if they don't hurt.

4. Have my alignment checked, feet might not point towards the front.

5. Remeber to bring chain to lock up skies or is that 2 chains so I can split up the skies.

6. Take a lesson: remember to tip instructor, unless he/she leaves me on a black mogul run. Then tip the ski patrol after they get me off the mountain.

7. Learn to fall, no problem practice it all the time.

8. Remember to look down a run, as it is my responsibility not to run into anyone below me. Have to look up a run as no one else cares whom he/she runs into.

9. Before entering a run look up so I will not ski out in front of anyone coming down, don't want to get in front of anyone better than me. I might screw up the snow with my style (or lack of) and if by some miracle they are worse than me I just want off that run.

10. Stay off green and blue runs to many menaces in these areas, go diectly to the black runs, that way I'll be the only menace out there.

11. Ski fast in the slow lane, or something like that.

12. If I have to stop pull to the side of a trail. But, if I do that and the boarders are sitting in the center and skiers on the side, oh well not my problem.

13. Remember no sex on top of mountain if over 35. Wife wasn't real big on this anyways.

14. Make wife go first on all runs, so I can protect her. It's also really irritating when she passes me half way down.

15. You know this was a lot easier when all I could do is make a slow left wedge turn. At least I knew what was going to happen, got to know the fence around the tennis court very well.

16. Last but not least HAVE FUN!

I think I have remembered everything, but if not I'm sure someone will stop and explain evrything to me with short easy to understand four letter words.
post #2 of 12
Best post of the season, Sgt21! I like it. I like it a lot.

post #3 of 12
Well done!! But how are you going to remember all that important stuff and still manage to have a good time?? [img]smile.gif[/img]
post #4 of 12
One last thing...learn how to spell "skis".
post #5 of 12
Print out this post and tape it to your arm ....... no, no, no! Your other right arm!

Just so's you gots a quick "reddy reference".

BTW ...... Point #14 ...... WRONG!

Wife goes down first .... TO DRAW FIRE!


<FONT COLOR="#800080" SIZE="1">[ January 09, 2002 02:54 PM: Message edited 1 time, by yuki ]</font>
post #6 of 12
: : [img]smile.gif[/img] : ...with that said I'm sure having fun won't be a problem for ya...we all should look at the lighter side of things....nice outlook ya have there...
post #7 of 12
At least somebody plans to have a good time skiing, but, you forgot to complain about snowboarding.

Seems that we are all wrapped up in seeing who can pee farthest to stick with the real issue at hand, enjoying our sport.

Have a great trip, Steamboat is a great place.
post #8 of 12
Thread Starter 
For irul&ublo

I guess I should proof read my posts, but I never read the long ones. In addition I can"t spell !!!! I'll work on it, just so much to remember and limited space available.

Be back on the 16th
post #9 of 12
Oh that was very very funny. Thanks for it.

Have a great time.
post #10 of 12
Here are a few things I've learned from Epic Ski as well to add to the list - I'm posting in good humor, altough this may get me banished anyway:

1) Senses of humor are fleeting.
2) Snowboarders suck - even though I thought we got over this is '95, I guess it's still true.
3) SCSA is a better skier than you, me, the Mahres, McKonkey, Miller, and Plake.
4) Ski with your legs farther apart.
5) Ski with your legs closer together.
6) Don't Abstem.
7)SCSA is still a better skier than you.
8) Avoid skiing during the busy times (Dec - April).
9) Pick at least one fight per day skiing - usually with a boarder or someone you thought was moving too fast.
10)If you don't believe SCSA is a better skier than you, he'll blow his cig smoke in your face. In which case see #9.
11) If you don't carve every single turn, you ain't sh*t.
12) Listen to Bob Barnes, he knows his stuff much better than Harold Harb.
13) Don't listen to Bob, but take a PMTS Camp from Harold Harb - he's smarter than Bob
14) Don't use copyrighted photos
15) If you don't ski more than 50 days a year you shouldn't even post on this board because your not a real skier.
16) Snowboarders and skiers can live in harmony.
17) Snowboarders only live to harass us skiers - kill them all.
18)Watching OLN on Monday and Thursdays is a good way to learn how to ski.
19) Don't listen to that ski instructor dude on OLN on Monday and Thursday's, he's out to destroy your skiing - he doesn't even know what a Q-Angle is, I bet.
20) If you frequent Epic Ski then your a closed minded, old fart.
21) If you post on PowderMag, your a cool, young, innovative sort of skier.
22) If you post on FREEZE, your a teenage wannabe skier who only knows gymnastic tricks on skis.

Oh, there are many more things I've learned. One of the important ones is something I knew all along and Epic has helped reinforce:

23) Skiing is an emensely personal experience with each person getting something different out of the sport. Who gives a whip about others if you are enjoying the fresh air, the snow, and the mountains. Skiing is freedom.

oh, yea -

24) I'm a better skier than you and SCSA. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Easy now, this post is meant in fun. So SB&R* and plan the next ski trip.

*Sit Back & Relax

<FONT COLOR="#800080" SIZE="1">[ January 09, 2002 04:33 PM: Message edited 1 time, by BillH ]</font>
post #11 of 12
post #12 of 12
Poles! you forgot poles! poles with straps...
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