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Things I've learned about skiing by screwing up! - Page 2

post #31 of 72
Originally posted by The Oz:
[img]smile.gif[/img] Funny as thread!
-Set your DIN according to what YOU want, not what the shop tech insists on. 7(!) not 4!
post #32 of 72
[img]tongue.gif[/img] It's been 7 tried and tested for many years. This guy was on about his 3rd day on the job using a chart that looked like it harked back to the 80s (in Banff).
post #33 of 72
1) When your wife says: "Don't pull in there" (hiking trail parking off I-70 near Frisco, to turn around), Listen to her. Otherwise, the best you can hope for is not screwing up; the worst is she is right...

2) Replace "Don't pull in there", with phrase of your choice and repeat #1.

3) My 7 year-old daughter is better at some of the relatively easy, but very narrow tree trails than either of her parents. When she says that trail A is not as narrow as trail B (while smiling) beware.

4) Repeat #2.
post #34 of 72
Mmmm, "Things I've learned about skiing by screwing up..."

I have learned that if I "screw up" my bindings because I'm so great a skier, that I won't release when I should.
post #35 of 72
"..that a pint of water will be the last drink before I go to bed.. [img]graemlins/angel.gif[/img] .."
post #36 of 72
- Don't land on your head ever.

- When you've not landed on your head don't ski the rest of the mountain to go to the doctors.

- (I know it's been said before but I feel it's important) ski bases and rocks don't like each other -ever.

- Don't volunteer to go and get your ski buddies old teachers glove when he drops it off the lift in bad light especially if it requires a 10 min sidestep to get back on the piste.

- If your sub-conscious is screaming at you that the mogul you're going over on the side of a perfectly flat piste then you should probably listen to it and not keep convincing yourself that it is a mogul and not a snow machine made mound.

- If you don't have a bad back before you lie down on a blood wagon you will do after.

- Last but by no means least - never takes your Mum's place on a ski holiday even if she really can't go as you will probably never speak to your father again cos he snores, won't ski in bad light, won't ski in powder and is like a big baby when you do get him skiing anywhere anyway!

PS Great thread btw!!
post #37 of 72
If you have to pee, make sure that you are completely in the trees.
If you feel a breeze and others are staring at you, there is a reason for it. Ripped my ski pants and didn't notice until I stopped for lunch.
Never ever offer to teach someone else to ski...unless you are an instructor.
If you are wearing a full-faced helmet on speed event training day, ski slowly when not in the gates (especially in front of ski patrol).
It matters not how you look when skiing; it matters how you feel.
Don't follow everyone else on a powder day.
post #38 of 72
Don't book your holiday in Lech on the week ending just two days before you plan to speak at a conference in Vienna, if the forecasts are for the heaviest snowfalls in 25 years and the resort had already been cut off for several days.

If you're in the same group with a beginner and you've spent all week telling him brave ski stories and giving him helpful tips, don't pick the first time he rides the chairlift to the top of the hill to fall down over your head and proceed to slide downhill on your back for about 50 yards, head pointing downwards, just as he passes you heading up. "I can also ski that way" was all he said.

If you ski with your dad on the last run of the day, and he turns to the right around a large tree, and you go left around same tree, nature and nurture will make it likely that you two will take identical avoidance action when suddenly finding yourself face to face with the other. Don't laugh too hard if the crash didn't hurt YOU.

Don't jump a fence just under a low gondola. I got VERY lucky.

Oh yes, and don't assume that just because no one you skied with got seriously hurt in your 25 years of skiing, the beginner lady you really like won't tear her ACL on a green run, on the first day of the New Year. Good news is she wants to try it again.
post #39 of 72
It's not advisable to try and ski a beautiful fresh powder back country bowl having forgotten to take your skins off.

While the former is bad enough, it is even worse with friends and family watching.

There is not a damn think you can do to keep your kids who witnessed said even from telling the story to anyone you know over and over and over and over and .....

There doesn't seem to be any time limit on how many years later they will still be telling the story.

A dream of your gravestone with "He tried to ski Edelweiss Bowl with his skins on" is a nightmare.

[ November 06, 2003, 05:55 AM: Message edited by: Si ]
post #40 of 72
1. when you borrow some rentals when your skis are being repaired, check the DIN settings
(gentle skid off ice into windblown snow, click click, accelerate along another ice patch face first, fly off a small cliff)

2. its really difficult to ski well in boots that are really painful even if they are built for high performance
(subtleties of posture, balance, tipping and angulation become a little irrelevant when your calf goes numb)

3. don't juice limes for apres-ski margaritas with a carving knife
(able to ski next day after being stitched up but I feel the scar tissue if I grip a pole too hard)
post #41 of 72
I learned that when you buy ski poles you MUST FIRST put your boots and skis on BEFORE tryin' to figure out what length poles you need [img]smile.gif[/img]

[ November 09, 2003, 01:50 AM: Message edited by: Euclide ]
post #42 of 72
Never ever pay full price for a lift ticket.
When skiing down a chairlift run,do not go to the bottom if the chair isn't moving. :
If your skis are shorter than your kids,swap equipment for the walk-up.
If the the lady riding up the chair with you is a senior citizen,speaks broken english and her name is Ulga. Don't ski with her! You won't be able to anyway. :
And the most important one for last. Don't beleive the snow report from the Mt. :

[ November 08, 2003, 01:03 PM: Message edited by: slider ]
post #43 of 72
Lets See:

- freezing rain and sleet + goggles = zero visibility

- those big green saturated spots in the snow during spring skiing slow you down in a hurry.

- not completely cleaning off your boots and ejecting from your bindings in the starting gate makes you look rather foolish.

- the equipment does not make the skier.

- the people with duct tape on their gloves and boots are usually the best skiers.

- talk to the ski patrol on the lift, they usually know where the best conditions are.

- when skiing out west for the first time, its not a good idea to drop into a tuck and let it fly, because the slopes are much wider and you have no frame of reference for speed.

- there are people out there that actually think that leaving their cooler on the table in the morning means it's reserved for them at lunch. :
post #44 of 72
If you fall backwards while in the trees, keeping your legs closed is a very smart idea.
post #45 of 72
Heed the little voice in your head telling you put the goggles on, they'll help with the flat light, rather than just carrying on down the slope, falling because of the bad light and crushing the aforementioned goggles in your backpack.

post #46 of 72
Remember to bring your boots AND skis AND poles when attending an evaluation clinic.
post #47 of 72
If the flight attendant says your boot bag is too big to carry on board the crowded flight, and must be checked, remember to get the lift ticket vouchers out of it. Especially if you were the trip planner for your group and have everyone's.

When we got to Big Sky, guess what didn't make it?
post #48 of 72
Since this thread has been revived:

With six inches of chopped up fresh on hardpack (read ice, for wimps) make turns in the stuff with the pink tinge not the blue tinge.

Especially if followed by ten excited teenagers, three teachers and a parent.

Especially when you can't see the left or the right piste markers on the Lauberhorn and the dogtooth is coming up.

Make the instructor of the group below, who set the challenge by sliding his intermediates down it the day before, buy you a beer.
post #49 of 72
  • Low DINs are great--except in the starting gate under a chairlift when double-ejects are especially humbling.</font>
  • Always carry an extra pair of contact lenses. Skiing in glasses that don't fit inside goggles when they are making snow is...no fun!</font>
  • Try to pay enough attention to the general topology to remember where that 10 foot drop is. Unexpectedly dropping 10' into a few feet of new does interesting things when the snow tries to pull your arms off! :</font>
  • Having a jacket when you're heading for a 2-day clinic at Vail is usually a requirement. </font>
  • Never underestimate the value of befriending a local. </font>
post #50 of 72
1. Don't ski with your mouth open - 15 or 20 years ago my right knee knocked against my open jaw on a bumpy run and I bit my tongue and I got a few loose teeth.
2. Wear a helmet - also helps against the lift bar
3. Always plan to stop downhill of your daughter - if you wipe out you won't bring her down, too
4. If you drop your pole just after taking off on the chair, don't jump after it. The chair nearly hit my head and they had to stop the lift.
post #51 of 72
Don't sit on your poles when on the chair. The handle end can get stuck on the back of the seat, while the other end tries to lift you up between the legs.

Result: Custom racing pole.
post #52 of 72
check your bindings after picking up newly mounted skis from the shop and before going off a jump.

Never take your wife or girlfriend on a run that may have even the slightest chance of being too hard for them.

Always carry some snacks in your pocket when skiing with young kids late in the afternoon. ( a snickers bar works wonders to get them down that last 2000 feet of vert at 3:45PM.)

Do not forget your ski boots back at the condo on a powder morning at Jackson Hole!

Do not forget your ski boots back at the condo on a powder morning at Stowe either!! (boots were all the way back in Waitsfield.)

Be careful when checking your skis and you have a connecting flight. ( I went to Red Lodge, Montana. My skis went to Vail)
post #53 of 72
1. Never ski the bumps in zero visibility. (I was knocked unconscious when my ski hit me in the face after launching off an unseen mogul. c. 1980)

2. When realizing your skis are breaching the edge of the superpipe for the first time, do not react by leaning back and throwing your arms in the air. (2004)

3. When teaching a group of kids, and one of them falls every 5 seconds, make sure you don't ever get too far downhill from that kid, especially if he's heavy and can't get up by himself.
post #54 of 72
Neon colors are no longer in fashon

Do not mix Marker toe pieces with Salomon heals

Sterno is NOT good for heating a car

If you are under 18 do NOT lock the keys in the car with an open case of beer in the back seat

Do NOT drive with ski boots, especially a manual transmission

Floor wax in not good for ski bases

Do NOT jump from the lift no matter how close the ground looks

wet ski gloves are not good

wet floors are 10x more slippery in ski boots
post #55 of 72
Don't decide to change to a lighter pants, drive off to the resort only to remember that your multi-day lift ticket is on your other pants. Then drive 1/2 hour back to get the other pants then back to the resort, park your car in the drop off area and run into the lodge to change pants and discover upon your return to the car that you've locked yourself out and your boots are in the back seat.

If your an instructor in a bump clinic, don't tell my wife that that red fluid between the bumps are from the groomers. She knows that groomer don't make bumps. (We told the guy at the ski school desk that if he could break into my car, we would take a bump clinic. The local locksmith couldn't come for several hours.)

Never assume that just because you took two weeks vacation in March to ski in Vermont that you'll have at least a few good weather days. Killington went from 100 trails to 38 trails in that 14 day span and it wasn't because it was warm and sunny.

Don't do these things on the same trip.
post #56 of 72
Originally posted by Cedric:
If you're in the same group with a beginner and you've spent all week telling him brave ski stories and giving him helpful tips, don't pick the first time he rides the chairlift to the top of the hill to fall down over your head and proceed to slide downhill on your back for about 50 yards, head pointing downwards, just as he passes you heading up. "I can also ski that way" was all he said.
post #57 of 72
Remember! Moguls get bigger the more people jump them.

I went inside the lodge to get a snack (mind you this is a small resort) and came back out to continue jumping the moguls.

Set up:
The main run has one Big Mogul you jump.. then you have the option of going through the rest of them or going to the side and stand in line up with friends in till everyone is ready to go through the B-field(mogul).

When I came back out, I went straight for the big one... "HOLY MOLLY" ... it was bigger than last time and I took more air then expected. I landed funny and the only way to keep from making a'Yard Sale' was to Ride on the back of my ski's through the Bump Field. It wasn't in till the very last bump I was able to pop back up into a standing positions. :

Everyone on the chair lift and hill cheered me( Swiss Valley in MI is very small). Being 16 at the time, that was the most embarrassing moment of my life. [img]redface.gif[/img]
post #58 of 72
1. Knee damage sucks.

2. Getting in the hot tub for three hours immediately after knee damage sucks.

3. Drinking to the point of brain damage before going to the snowbird clinic after 1. & 2. sucks.

4. That first four-foot powder day at grand targee in Jan 1989...my first “out west”..with my then very beautiful girl friend (now my very beautiful wife)...and all the pow days after that COMBINED will never, ever, EVEN COME CLOSE to skiing on dirt in the rain in January in North Carolina last year with my 5 year old son, seeing him suddenly make turns...grin on his face...wind in his hair…witnessing that magical transformation we all know...the hand of the great ski god...knowing he is now one of US, the molecules of his body now tiny rosignol roosters...breathing this sport...this life...but wait.

I didn't screw that up.

One thing I did right...
post #59 of 72
If you accidently get your ski inbetween someone else's legs when loading a lift keep it that way until you are off the ground.

Struggling makes your ski pop off and then you fall forward and the quad hits you in the ass at full speed knocking you into a ditch.

That was fun.
post #60 of 72
Originally posted by Brokedown Palace:
Never ever offer to teach someone else to ski...unless you are an instructor....
Even if you are an instructor, never ever attempt to teach a family member or friend anything about skiing unless that ask first.



The private lesson I bought my wife the first day she went skiing is the best money I've ever spent. I still buy her one or two a season.
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