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Things I've learned about skiing by screwing up!

post #1 of 72
Forgetting that I told the guy who mounted my AT bindings not to worry about the DIN because I would set it myself. Until 10 minutes into my skiing day when I hit the first bump on a traverse that shot both my skis off simultaneously...
post #2 of 72
1. biggest mistake.....not skiing 80+ days a year every year since I was a kid.....the bummer about this is it is not correctable......
2. thinking that hot pink was even an option for ski clothing.
3. forgetting to put sun-screen on the BACK of my ears when I was skiing Aspen for a week in March of '83.....ouch babe...
4. DId I mention hot pink....... :
post #3 of 72
Thread Starter 

Things I've learned about skiing by screwing up!

1. Dremel rotary tool and grinding wheel attachment does not give a consistent (or even acceptable) edge and base tune.

2. Belt Sander with coarse grit belt is not an effective base grinder for final touches and structuring.

3. When first trying to hit some decent airs in the terrain park, DIN should go DOWN or stay the same , not go way UP.

4. When sliding out on the ice and falling over a beautiful, ripping lady skiing alone, don't merely ask if she's alright and then ski away without offering dinner to make ammends.

These are pretty much the only things I regret doing in the past few years except for the last one which I REALLY, REALLY regret.

Anyone else make any goofs that you had to stand back and think, "What was I thinking?"
post #4 of 72
1.Not pre skiing the upper mountain at Jackson Hole to become familiar with all of the dangerous areas, leaving me the choice of immediate conversion, prayer and miraculous salvation or the Huck of Death.

2.Agreeing with the wife that she probable could stop, drop and pee in the woods at Bachelor, just before she skied off, backwards, pants down towards the red lift, as I stood paralyzed by laughter.

3.Being talked into omitting lessons on my first day skiing. Getting off the lift I hit two sisters at the same time and skied off with one on each knee.

4.Not getting the name and number of the sisters involved in the above (I agree with your assessment Karsten).

5.Forgetting to retighten the binding DIN after relaxing them for the summer, resulting in my annual first run of the year double ejection and head plant (altagirl, thank you for reminding me).

post #5 of 72
You never get hurt in the air, only when you hit the ground.
post #6 of 72
That booting out at high speed has some serious implicatons (has anyone seen an ACL lying around here somewhere?)
post #7 of 72
Hee, hee. Some of the things I've learned about skiing by screwing up:

1. I learned that a restaurant tray is not even remotely maneuverable or stoppable. This was nanoseconds before crashing through the lift maze at the bottom of Little Nell at Aspen Mountain.

2. I learned that buying a helmet and a long pair of skis does not in and of itself prepare one to ski a Masters downhill course at Snow King mountain. That pair of skis may have had the shortest useful life in history. (Thank God for the helmet.)

3. I learned that just *assuming* that my goggles, hat, and gloves were in my pack was a very bad idea, especially when I'd just boarded the Snowbird tram on a snowy, windy day.

4. I learned that orthopedic surgeons know a tiny bit more about the dangers of skiing without an ACL than I did.

5. I learned that when certain people said the conditions we were going to ski would be "interesting", I should be very afraid and run away quickly.

6. I learned that the mechanisms that anchor a ski rack to the top of a car are very mysterious and somewhat unpredictable.

7. I learned that, when tree skiing, not all innocent-looking pine boughs are, in fact, innocent.

8. I learned that one should never, ever, ever, EVER, trust one's ski boots to the baggage process of an airline.

9. I learned that the "starfish" technique of descending a chute can be very unpleasant (on the other hand, it does cover a *lot* of vertical in a very short time).

10. I learned that middle-aged men (this one anyway), shouldn't attempt rail slides.

post #8 of 72
That there's good reason for my Breckenridge instructor's nickname " Trauma Park" (35 feet doesn't really work on a 40 ft. tabletop. ouch.)
post #9 of 72
That every day that I choose not to ski because of...
Will never be back.
That I never exploited my superior skiing skils (compared to 97%
of the other skiers/weekend warriors))to "make friends with girls" (unless they were interesed in skiing, and nothing else, of course)
post #10 of 72
...that if you meet up with a very acceptable female, discover her skiing ability before agreeing to follow her down a run, thinking you'll impress her.
...particularly if she races for the Aussie Armed Forces.
...and you've never done a run that steep
...and you've never hucked a cornice

(unless you know a great little restaurant in the centre of town where you can take her after, and laugh about it)

post #11 of 72
I learned that trying to take a picture of one's self with a camera while hucking off a 40 foot cliff is not a good idea. The extra weight of the camera rotated me forward and I was cold cocked by the camera (Snowbird 82)

I learned that tree wells have pungy sticks.

I learned that the tops of said trees have pungy sticks.

I learned that maple whips do not give when hit.

I learned that trying to empty the vapors out of a bottle of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill while being towed behind a snowmobile through town is not a good idea. Hit parked car.

I learned that it is not smart to take a swing at one's brother while riding the chair lift. My brother ducked. I fell out therefore it was all his fault 1968.

I learned that skiing with pitchers of beer in the bumps can be disaterous for the beer.

Last but by no means all. One should not attempt to ski the bumps using hub caps for skis.
post #12 of 72
Good thread-

1) Don’t ski in the dark. The reasons are obvious, now that I have tried. (It can hurt too!)
2) Don’t follow Greg’s line in the woods, unless you like to tempt fate and catch air.
3) Lastly, learn to turn and stop BEFORE you ride your first rope tow.
post #13 of 72
New skis - $450
Lift ticket - $55
Lunch - $20 (it's a resort)
Free ride back to lodge on snowmobile stretcher - priceless
post #14 of 72
1. When your doctor tells you you have pneumonia and go home and get lots of bed rest you should probably skip the next few powder days.

2. When your 6 year old duaghter tells you " Dad I have to go potty...now", listen and don't think you can get in 1 more run.

3. When that nagging voice in your head says "you forgot something", listen to it.

4. Winter wiper blades are worth the extra bucks.
post #15 of 72
I've learned more than a few things the hard way; a few notable moments:

  • Just because your girfriend has the same bootsole length as you do, you shouldn't trade her 190's set at a DIN of 5 for your 210's set at 10, so that she can try your longer skis.</font>
  • When you go against your better instincts and trade skis with your girlfriend anyway, you shouldn't be getting air.</font>
  • When you crash heavily after landing the air on her skis and double eject, you shouldn't get upset at your girlfriend who is laughing so hard she has wet herself.</font>
  • You shouldn't laugh at a person that has just wet themselves.</font>
  • When going out to clinic with the entire Park City Ski School behind you, you should not allow the attractive instructor you are about to board the chairlift with pull you off the chair in mid-air after she catches an edge in the loading area.</font>
  • When dropping off a cornice with pine trees lacing the outrun and someone says "don't hit a tree", it would be wise to heed their advice. </font>
post #16 of 72
At 3:30pm of your last day of a breakthrough ski week at Whistler, during the last 10 minutes of your ski lesson, if you've schlussed down a short hill to get speed on a slushy spring-snow-laden flat run, just ignore the yahoos zipping past and making you nervous. Under no circumstances should you look over your shoulder, putting your weight slightly backwards, causing you to ignominiously sprain your ankle on a friggin' *flat*. Duh.

Related to the above, when the last piece of advice your boss gives you before leaving for said ski vacation was, Don't get hurt! you should listen a lot more carefully.

(Man, and I never got to test my newfound pole-plant technology on The Saddle. Grrrrr.)
post #17 of 72
If you call in sick so you can skip work do go skiing, wear your sunscreen. Nothing like a new tan to poke holes in your story about being in bed all day with a sore throat and fever.
post #18 of 72
Some things I have learned,

1. There is no better way to return to reality than to watch yourself ski via a video camera.

2. Always look down and check that you are skiing on twin tips before doing something stupid.

3. ACL reconstructions- really make sure that your cartilages are all back in place and that your hammys are ok BEFORE going back down the run you busted the ACL on last year.

4. Never trust snowboarders to not turn the other way

5. Always obey ALL directions/signs in Switzerland.

5a. The Swiss have no sense of humor, especially when you ignore 5. above

6. Italians do not believe in standing in line, ever.

7. Never ski with someone wearing a reflective silver one-piece on a spring day in Australia unless you have EXTRA dark lenses in the goggles.

8. Never ski with someone wearing a reflective silver one-piece

9. Carry a Ski-key and use it. Skis are expensive!

10. Most bad skiing experiences are not due to faulty gear, just a faulty skiier (me)
post #19 of 72
Don't attempt a big jump on Type I DIN settings (not from personal experience, saw this one from the lift. Poor kid)

If you do attempt a jump, make damn sure you don't hit the huge lump at the base of it.

A hockey stop from the back seat has disastrous potential.

Never, ever cut it close when on rental gear. It'll always skid when you need it to carve.

The steepest trail on the mountain is a BAD idea on your fourth day out.
post #20 of 72
A few discoveries I have made:

1) When a policeman sees a vehicle pass by traveling 80 mph with a skier standing on the roof practicing his tuck he is not exactly pleased.

2) When straightening out a trail and approaching at high speed a slow moving zig zagger the best stratigy to avoid flattening him like a rapid gate is to aim right at him. By the time you get there he has moved.

3) When that skier turns out to be a patrolman and he stops at the last minute, once he is able to dig himself out of the snow he is not exactly pleased.

4) Avoid people who are not exactly pleased.
post #21 of 72
Thread Starter 
Hey Fastman, Happen to have a picture of any of those regrets?
post #22 of 72
JUST THE MUG SHOTS! [img]graemlins/evilgrin.gif[/img]
post #23 of 72
Skiing down T Bar lift lines is not a good way to keep your lift pass.

Having a really bad cold & skiing a powder day can lead to pneumonia. This then leads to more lost days. But must be weighed up verses not skiing the origonal powder day!!

Skiing in Japan can be like trying to ski in the local supermarket on pay day.

Do not drive over your skis in the groomer, they don't like it.

It is a fine line between making trees look really pretty covered in man made snow & having the tree fall over.
When there are heaps of trees to expreement on it is ok, when it is the only tree be very careful.
post #24 of 72
Originally posted by schlagzeug:
Some things I have learned,

6. Italians do not believe in standing in line, ever.
Hey! I do beleive in lines (queues)!
It's just that everybody else doesn't!
post #25 of 72
Never grab the T-Bar when your skis are pointing across the hill.
post #26 of 72
9. Carry a Ski-key and use it. Skis are expensive!

What is a Ski-key?
post #27 of 72
Originally posted by fcoliver:
9. Carry a Ski-key and use it. Skis are expensive!

What is a Ski-key?
It's a convenient ski lock that works with specific racks provided by some resort operators. See www.skikey.com for details.

[ January 13, 2003, 05:54 PM: Message edited by: datadad ]
post #28 of 72
1) Don't listen to a guy zipping by you if you ask if the run your about to go down is a black or the advanced intermedite run you really want.

2) Don't ski into an ice patch.

3) Don't try skiing with 1 ski on.
post #29 of 72
-Moving T-bars are not meant to slalom.
-Single buckle rear entry boots are BAD, especially if you hit
the latch and it comes undone while you are on the chair,
then like a fool you take your foot off of the foot rest
-If you choose to sit on a picinic table like bench to adjust
the buckles on your boot, don't sit on the very edge, even
if it is the only seat available. I did this and the people
who occupied the rest of the bench decided to get up while I
was leaning to the outside edge buckling my boot, the bench
became a see-saw and I ended up on the ground.
-You should worry when a friend asks you how the brakes work.
-Don't accidently drop your digital camera off of the lift
while attempting to take a picture,particularly if the
terrain below is all rocks.
-Don't forget to pack your own skis into the van, then back
over them.
-Beware of what is waiting at the bottom of that jump you are
about to hit.
-If you chaperone a school or youth group be sure you have
everyone when it is time to go home (particularly the
principals child if it is a school group).
-Duct Tape should be in every skiers pocket or gear bag.
-Lock your skis, but don't forget the combination or lose the
-I ski a lot better than I walk (Beware of hazzards while
walking out side of and in the lodge. I took a mean fall on
ice when leaving a ticket window last season, tore my pants
and badly bruised my leg..but I skied anyway.)
-Yes folks, it is possible to ride a T-bar pulling a patrol
toboggan and carrying ski poles, a large hot chocolate and
lunch up to the spotter in the top lift shed.
-Rubbing man-made snow on your face enhanced tanning

[ November 04, 2003, 02:29 PM: Message edited by: skierteach ]
post #30 of 72
[img]smile.gif[/img] Funny as thread!

-Don't do your first lot of bumps for the season a. On rental skis and b. Underneath a quad chair.

-If having a 'yard sale', make sure you SLIDE asmuch as possible rather than STOP as soon as possible. Avoid trees when sliding at all costs.

-Do not get air off kickers in white outs. 3 cracked ribs to attest to that one when a tree greeted me 3m from the jump.

-Never wrestle with ski boots on. 3 torn ligaments in ankle and 3 months physio. Luckily on the morning of last day of season any way.

-Ski bases and rocks don't like each other. Ever.

-Set your DIN according to what YOU want, not what the shop tech insists on. 7(!) not 4!

-Do not ride the wall of the pipe vertically on your first attempt. This may or may not involve clearing nearly 3m of air and landing 3cm from a snowboarder who has the majority of his pants in his sphincter now.

Last but not least, DON'T EAT YELLOW SNOW
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