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Friendly skies

post #1 of 26
Thread Starter 
Slight warning - Mormon humor (not too offensive tho I hope


A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight.
After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, 'I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips.'
The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, 'Me too, I didn't know we had a choice.

post #2 of 26
ok... now do i have this right... you do not wish to offend the mormons... but the Irish are fair game?????
post #3 of 26
these are extra funny being in yeewwtaahhh

Missionary Advice: "When a big mean, dog attacks you, Elder, just remember, you don't have to run faster than the dog, ... you just have to outrun your companion."

Q: Why do Mormon women stop having babies at thirty-five?

A: Because thirty-six is just too many.

An LDS child needed to bring an old shirt from home for a school project about drug prevention. The mother was busy and handed her child an old T-shirt without examining it. Later, she was appalled to see her child wearing the T-shirt through the mall. On the front it said, "A Family is Forever." On the back: "Be Smart, Don't Start."
post #4 of 26
Thread Starter 
sorry - I got this joke from an Irish guy
post #5 of 26
ct - np at all - actually the Irish are one of the few groups left who do not
take themselves so seriously that they can not laugh at themselves
post #6 of 26
Tomcat, you'd be de-balled in my house for that kind of thinking.

And you sir, you are the spokesperson for we of the Irish persuasion?

You need you adz slung in the the back end of a Paddy wagon ... you do.

: It can be arranged.
post #7 of 26
Yuki ! All these years I never realized the origins of the term "Paddy Wagon" :
post #8 of 26
Tomcat, you're right, we the Irish can and do still laugh at ourselves. It's one of the tests of being Irish. Take yourself too seriously, and you weren't born in Ireland!

(proof, if proof were needed, is this year's Eurovision entry)
post #9 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by 911over View Post
Yuki ! All these years I never realized the origins of the term "Paddy Wagon" :
post #10 of 26
What's the difference between and Irish Wedding and an Irish Wake?

<insert offensive answer here>

What do you call an Irishman in a suit?

<insert offensive answer here>
post #11 of 26
Yuki.. thank you sir... i am not a spokesperson for the Irish... just proud to
be a potato eating, boilermaker drinking, shanty Irishman raised in the
South Bronx..... and btw I have been in the back of a Paddy Wagon and
am proud to say I am still amply balled!!!
post #12 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by crgildart View Post
What's the difference between and Irish Wedding and an Irish Wake?

<insert offensive answer here>

What do you call an Irishman in a suit?

<insert offensive answer here>

1. One less drunk at the wake.
2. (a) Anything you like, he's dead.
2. (b) The accused.
post #13 of 26
I guess we "Lace Curtain" Irish are more ...... er ..... sensitive.

:
post #14 of 26
Ok I have only just come across this thread and feel as a fully fledged born and breed 100% fully-Irish cailin I have to straighten all this confusion out. So here goes:

1. Tomcat your dead right, we DO NOT take ourselves too seriously. We pride ourselves over here on our self-depricating humour. If you can't take the piss out of yourself/have the piss ripped out of you, you may aswell go home now. Also we do tend to find a lot humour in the odd few of us who do take themselves too seriously, they probably get the worst of it to be honest.

2. ct55- Your joke was hilarious, good man.

3. The worst abuse an Irish person will ever get will always be from a fellow "paddy", so try as ya may a few jokes probably won't do it! Trust me the worst "paddy" jokes are normally told by ourselves.

4. ::: Philplug that's not a true paddy wagon, it says Police down the side...In Ireland we don't have Police(that would be England), over here they are called The gardai...and we're quite anal about that(and no Yuki not senitive).

5. Yuki- What are ya on about "Lace Curtain Irish"? Go`way out of that, Come on over to us for a week and we'll put some hairs on your chest

6. And finally Wear The Fox Hat- in answer to what you said "It's one of the tests of being Irish. Take yourself too seriously, and you weren't born in Ireland!" all I will say is:
Aithní onn ciaróg ciaróg eile Maith an fear.
post #15 of 26
Aw now Polarbear 2020 would that be the sight you're naming yourself after ?

And what would Yuki be sensitive about anyhow ? Curtains ? Who has curtains when you would be looking upon the mountains anyhow ?

I forgot how well travelled & purposed the paddy wagon would become.
And what would you be saying about those of more pictish leanings ?

Is maith é an bád a dhéanann amach an caladh a d'fhág sé
post #16 of 26
Is Polarebear 2020 a site???...a website or actual site on a map? I genuinely thought I was being original...honest. You see Polarbear was taken so I put 20 after it cause thats my age and another 20 for good luck??

...maybe il change it so. Do you think google is taken??

Are we talking pictish in the way of the old scottish tribe The Picts(forgive me if I am wrong my history is pretty bad). If so I'll let ya away with it seen as you have a nice accent...

p.s curtains are a must in Ireland, looking at rain and flat ground 24/7 can get a girl down...they are certaintly not lace though!
post #17 of 26
911over

Ceist eile- Cá bhfios duit an ghaeilge?
post #18 of 26
Boutye big girl (as we say in the north)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Polarbear2020 View Post
4. Philplug that's not a true paddy wagon, it says Police down the side...In Ireland we don't have Police(that would be England), over here they are called The gardai...and we're quite anal about that(and no Yuki not senitive).


Paddywagon is an American term – no one is certain of its exact origin, but the two most popular reasons are:
1. The American police forces used to have a lot of officers or Irish descent, so it was a wagon driven by Paddies
2. The wagons were frequently full of drunken people of Irish descent (I mean in the back, not suggesting for a moment that the cops were drunk )

Now, it’s only douze days until “Irlande Douze Points”. If Dustin wins, can we expect Zig and Zag to present the show? Please tell me that Podge & Rodge will do the commentary…
post #19 of 26
Mostly ... "Lace Curtain" & "Shanty" were US terms.

most were poor, but posers, for appearence sake would put lace in the windows of the shanty

post #20 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wear The Fox Hat View Post
Now, it’s only douze days until “Irlande Douze Points”. If Dustin wins, can we expect Zig and Zag to present the show? Please tell me that Podge & Rodge will do the commentary…
Ha so you've heard our entry for the fabulous competition that is the eurovision. I think another shining example of the Irish humour. There was uproar from "industry insiders"(those would be some of the select few who DO actually take themselves too seriously that I spoke of before) that such a song be sent to the competition representing our country...but alas the public voted for it to stick 2 fingers up at the shambles that is the eurovision song contest...and judging by the various winners of recent years(does anyone remember that band from norway with the masks who just screamed for 3minutes) we may actually be in with a chance...

P.s PODGE AND RODGE FOR PRESIDENT!
post #21 of 26
I think Podge would prefer to be VICE president.
post #22 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Polarbear2020 View Post
911over

Ceist eile- Cá bhfios duit an ghaeilge?
ní thuigim ghaeilge - but I try

Quote:
Originally Posted by Polarbear2020 View Post
Is Polarebear 2020 a site???...a website or actual site on a map? I genuinely thought I was being original...honest. You see Polarbear was taken so I put 20 after it cause thats my age and another 20 for good luck??

...maybe il change it so. Do you think google is taken??

Are we talking pictish in the way of the old scottish tribe The Picts(forgive me if I am wrong my history is pretty bad). If so I'll let ya away with it seen as you have a nice accent...

p.s curtains are a must in Ireland, looking at rain and flat ground 24/7 can get a girl down...they are certaintly not lace though!
It is original. Keep it. It will come to you.

Thanks for sure.

If the window has a view of a paddock of horses , well...
post #23 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by 911over View Post
ní thuigim ghaeilge - but I try



It is original. Keep it. It will come to you.

Thanks for sure.

If the window has a view of a paddock of horses , well...

God loves a trier!

After a lot of thinking very hard it did finally come to me, 2020 sight(not site!) and I do feel a small bit of a tool I'll not lie.

Your welcome.

It does have a view of the horses(how did you know that)...suppose I can't really complain so...
post #24 of 26
He does. And graciously rewards us.

I knew you'd get it.

Aww well, ya see, I didn't know. I pictured your window with open curtains & what it would look out upon in rain fall. There are few greater joys in life than a ride with a four legged companion in a misty fog.

Although being outside enjoying the dark of night is peaceful and quieting, having it peer in at you through glass windows is not. Lace will simply not do on that score.
post #25 of 26
WTFH... Shanty may have been derived from the Irish sean tigh = old house also the paddy wagons interior walls were padded for the bumpy ride to the station house. Just to add those to previous thoughts.
post #26 of 26
Paddy Wagon--you can beat the rap, but you can't beat the ride. ugh.
old 'murrican sayin'

The Cajuns and the Vermont Yankees have the same remarkable ability to laugh at themselves.

I still don't know have answer to the old cajun joke 'bout d'termis bottul--'how do it no?'
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