2) Usually, the vehicle that looks worse after the accident is the safer one. This is due to crumple zones that absorb the impact - vehicles that don't crumple (e.g. pickup trucks) sometimes look nearly pristine after an accident, but instead of the vehicle absorbing the force of impact the full force is transferred to the passengers. Cars that are designed to crumple look like hell after an accident, but that's what they're supposed to do - sacrifice themselves to protect the passengers.
The only injury he suffered was a small bump and cut on his brow from the airbag smashing his glasses into his face. (And he was a little spacey for a few hours, but the paramedics had checked him out.)
Okay, back to your pissing contest. I'm sure many have stories like this, but I'll never forget how mangled that car was ....