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Advice for a long lasting marriage

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 
At Saint Mary's Catholic Church they have a weekly husband's marriage seminar. At the session last week, the Priest asked Luigi, who was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.

Luigi replied to the assembled husbands, "Well, I've tried to treat her nice, spend the money on her, but best of all is that I took her to Italy for the 20th anniversary!"

The Priest responded, "Luigi, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you're planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary."

Luigi proudly replied, "I'm gonna go and get her."

post #2 of 11
Wow, that is one I never heard. Thanks for sharing. I have one:

I was at a York, PA Athlete Recognition night and there were speakers from all over and one speaker was a fly fisherman. He had been married for 50 years he said and he explained that the reason that they are still together was that he never tried to teach her anything! That came straight from the horse's mouth.
post #3 of 11
Uhhh. Oboe, priests don't have wives. This is maybe a NY rabbi taking his wife to Jerusalem?
post #4 of 11
Weems, you haven't read the "This Just In" thread in Politics and Hot Topics in the Lounge yet? SNAP.....of course priests have wifes....some of them.
post #5 of 11
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonni View Post
Weems, you haven't read the "This Just In" thread in Politics and Hot Topics in the Lounge yet? SNAP.....of course priests have wifes....some of them.
Weems, I'm afraid you also have not read the joke.

Luigi is not the priest.

post #6 of 11
An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard.

They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat.

It read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her butt was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50,000 . .. Please advise."

The old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap."
post #7 of 11
A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket.

They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then dies.

Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out, "Watch that wall!"
post #8 of 11
Quote:
Originally Posted by weems View Post
Uhhh. Oboe, priests don't have wives. This is maybe a NY rabbi taking his wife to Jerusalem?
Ooops. My stupid.
post #9 of 11
Thread Starter 
Of course, priests don't have wives. Officially.

Would have worked with a Jewish guy, too. Different joke, same point:

Kid comes home from school and says, "Ma! Ma! I got a part int the school play!"

Ma says "Wonderful! What role are you playing?"

Kid says "I play the part of the Jewish husband!"

Ma - angry now - says "You go right back there and tell them you want a speaking role!"
post #10 of 11
lol - good jokes all
post #11 of 11

Marriage

I asked my wife the other day to what we owed 34 yrs together? Her Answer. "You're Lucky" So there it is.
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