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Up Or Down Sex

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 
At a Senior Citizen's luncheon, an elderly gentleman
and an elderly lady struck up a conversation and
discovered that they both loved to fish.
Since both of them were widowed, they decided to
go fishing together the next day.
The gentleman picked the lady up, and they headed
to the river to his fishing boat and started out on
their adventure.
They were riding down the river when there was a
fork in the river, and the gentleman asked the lady,
"Do you want to go up or down?"
All of a sudden the lady stripped off her shirt and
pants and made mad passionate love to the man
right there in the boat !
When they finished, the man couldn't believe what
had just happened, but he had just experienced
the best sex that he'd had in years.
They fished for a while and continued on down the
river, when soon they came upon another fork in the
He again asked the lady, "Up or down ?"
There she went again, stripped off her clothes,
and made wild passionate love to him again.
This really impressed the elderly gentleman, so
he asked her to go fishing again the next day.
She said yes and there they were the next day,
riding in the boat when they came upon the fork in
river, and the elderly gentleman asked, "Up or down ?"
The woman replied, "Down."
A little puzzled and disappointed, the gentleman
guided the boat down the river when he came upon
another fork in the river and he asked the
lady, "Up or down ?"
She replied, "Up."
This really confused the gentleman so he asked,
"What's the deal? Yesterday, every time I asked
you if you wanted to go up or down you made mad
passionate love to me. Now today, nothing!"
She replied, "Well, yesterday I wasn't wearing
my hearing aid and I thought the choices were
fvck or drown." (rhymes with "up or down")
post #2 of 5
I SAID "Looks like rain". A buddy of mine and I do this all the time - mention something dirty then cover it up with something clean.

to waitress in a low voice: "I'd like to SPANK you"
Waitress: "WHAT?!"
me: "I SAID I'd like to THANK you for the great service"

Use your imagination but there are limitless possibilities. My friend is really good at it and it makes for entertaining conversation.
post #3 of 5
A friend of mine could say in the smoooothest and nicest voice .....

........ "Well, f'ugg you very much .... "

He had this magic intonation that left the mind confuesd and gave us the necessary ten steps toward the door before the insulted party could figure it out. He used it on rude sales people all the time.

post #4 of 5
Long ago, when I was just a carefree youth, I worked in a buffet that catered to blue hairs. I would serve the noon meal at the steam line to the geriatric shoppers, then spend the afternoon in the kitchen cooking turkeys, hams, lasagnas, etc.

My favorite thing to do was this sort of thing:

"What's in the bag, bitch?"
"Excuse me?"
"Hot turkey sandwich?"

At night the counter people would ask for more baked potatoes, even though they knew we were out of them, and we'd wrap a towel in foil and send it out. They never got to the plate, but gee.....you tell them you're out and they expect a potato to bake in an oven in half an hour? This was pre-microwave days, after all.
post #5 of 5
heh heh - good one
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