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Lost in Translation...

post #1 of 2
Thread Starter 
A Mexican farmer is walking through his fields, when he notices a man kneeling down beside a pond, cupping a hand to bring the water to his lips to drink.

"No tomes esa agua!" the farmer shouts. "Las vacas se orinan alli."

Or, "Don't drink that water! The cows pee there."

The man looks up, scowls, and shouts back. "I'm an American! You're in America now, pal. Speak English or go home!"

The farmer pauses, then says: "Use both hands, you'll get more."

post #2 of 2
Two Mexicans are on a bike along U.S. 52 about 15 miles outside of
Lafayette , LA.

One of the bike's tires goes flat and they start hitching a lift back
into town.

A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the Mexicans ask him
for a ride. He tells them he has no room in the Trailer as he is carrying
20,000 bowling balls.

The Mexicans put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit into
the back with their bike, will he take them back into town and he agrees.

They manage to squeeze themselves and their bike into the back and the
driver shuts the doors and gets on his way. By this time he is really
late and so puts the hammer down. Sure enough a blonde cop pulls him
over for speeding.

The lady officer asks the driver what he is carrying, to which the driver
jokingly replies "Mexican eggs."

The Blond Lady Cop obviously doesn't believe this so wants to take a
look in the trailer. She opens the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it.

She gets on her radio and calls for immediate backup from as many officers
as possible plus the Swat Team.

The dispatcher asks what emergency she has that requires so many officers.

'I've got a Tractor-Trailer stopped with 20,000 Mexican eggs in it.. two
have hatched and they've already managed to steal a bicycle.'
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