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Ten Ways That Skiing's Like Sex

post #1 of 93
Thread Starter 
  1. You're always willing to fight through the soreness and give it another go.
  2. The beer and shower afterward are almost as good as the thing itself.
  3. You fantasize about it more than you actually do it.
  4. You can never get enough, yet you feel a vague sense of satiation when you're done.
  5. You'll tell any kind of lie just to be able to do it one time.
  6. There's a lot of fancy gear available, but it's fun even without it.
  7. You can't do it as much as you used to.
  8. You can do it alone, but it's much more fun in a group.
  9. You're not nearly as good at it as you think.
  10. It's the only thing you really use the Internet for.
post #2 of 93
Uncle Yuki is more inclined to visual associations. Could you post a few pictures for the purposes (academic of course), visual illustration?

:
post #3 of 93
  1. Even when you're tired and fatigued, it can be ultimately satisfying.
  2. A hot shower and a good massage to work the kinks out are almost necessary if you've done it right
  3. You fantasize about it as much as you actually do it.
  4. You can never get enough. Because the orgasmic experiences are best when experienced multiply.
  5. You'll fall for any kind of lie just to be able to do it one more time.
  6. The right gear can make it fun, but none of that matters if you don't bring some talent to the game.
  7. The older you get, the more you embrace the small pleasures.
  8. You can do it alone, but it's much more fun with an equally matched partner.
  9. The words Hart, Head, and Mojo, make you smile.
  10. The right tip, tail and waist dims make you sweat and >:
post #4 of 93
No matter what Size your equipment is, it's still fun.
If you fall you get right back up and try it again.
post #5 of 93
sez she .... "My what a small organ" .. :

sez he .... "I didn't know I'd be playing in a Cathedral" ... :
post #6 of 93
OK...I only have tiem for three....cause I"m supposed to be working.

1 Soft bumps are fun.
2 Buddy system - follow your partner down.
3 Don't overlook proper pole plants.
post #7 of 93
Thread Starter 
And of course we can relaunch the one mountain for the rest of your life/travelling around thing here too...
post #8 of 93
This thread is getting me all depressed!

At my age .... what are my chances of ever hitting "Virgin Powder" again?

post #9 of 93
Yuki, I can't believe you' haven't mentioned the virgin clutch.
post #10 of 93
Don't think for a moment it didn't enter my mind ...

Do I get points for trying to be "civil" and restrained ... for once ... ??
post #11 of 93
I'm most often a finesse kinda guy, but sometimes it's big fun to unleash the power!

Navigating the neatly groomed can be fun, but then again, so is bush whacking.

The older I get, the bigger the terrain that I play on.
post #12 of 93
Thread Starter 
But, to ski under the lift, within sight of all, or to hit the quiet, private, intimacy of the trees...?
post #13 of 93
Its just as much fun with the same partner on different terrain

Yuki, You doooo get points, but I should also for all the terms used in TR's that I haven't used yet popped immediately to mind, like...........well, lets just say, being quick witted is not a good thing when you're trying to be somewhat ladylike.
post #14 of 93
I never really understood the concept of trying to finish with the quickest time
post #15 of 93
When skiing 7 inches of powder, men claim its at least 9 inches, women say 5 at the most.
post #16 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by prickly View Post
The beer and shower afterward are almost as good as the thing itself.
I think you might be doing something wrong then... :
post #17 of 93
Thread Starter 
You haven't seen my shower...
post #18 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by prickly View Post
  1. You're always willing to fight through the soreness and give it another go.
  2. The beer and shower afterward are almost as good as the thing itself.
  3. You fantasize about it more than you actually do it.
  4. You can never get enough, yet you feel a vague sense of satiation when you're done.
  5. You'll tell any kind of lie just to be able to do it one time.
  6. There's a lot of fancy gear available, but it's fun even without it.
  7. You can't do it as much as you used to.
  8. You can do it alone, but it's much more fun in a group.
  9. You're not nearly as good at it as you think.
  10. It's the only thing you really use the Internet for.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trekchick View Post
  1. Even when you're tired and fatigued, it can be ultimately satisfying.
  2. A hot shower and a good massage to work the kinks out are almost necessary if you've done it right
  3. You fantasize about it as much as you actually do it.
  4. You can never get enough. Because the orgasmic experiences are best when experienced multiply.
  5. You'll fall for any kind of lie just to be able to do it one more time.
  6. The right gear can make it fun, but none of that matters if you don't bring some talent to the game.
  7. The older you get, the more you embrace the small pleasures.
  8. You can do it alone, but it's much more fun with an equally matched partner.
  9. The words Hart, Head, and Mojo, make you smile.
  10. The right tip, tail and waist dims make you sweat and >:
Quote:
Originally Posted by axebiker View Post
I think you might be doing something wrong then... :
I think I fixed it in my version.
post #19 of 93
Anyone have a link to TCS' 'Horse parting its mane' video?

1. The best alighting airports start with the letter 'S'?
post #20 of 93
Also:

1). Ladies appreciate the wider sticks when it gets deep
2). No matter how good you are, there's always room for improvement
3). Grooming is important
4). The backside rocks
5). Everybody wants first tracks
6). I get my Mojo(s) on and do sick tricks
7). Too much waist can be a handful
8). The stiffer the board, the faster you go
9). The only way to get better is to do it more
10). Consistently keepin' the tips up leads to a great day of playin' in the deep
11). You'll always try to squeeze in one more go...
12). Trying to go into areas that are roped off can get your pass pulled instantly.
13). Look where you're going to avoid an embarassing hike back out
14). Both will make you spend all your money, directly or indirectly
15). You can buy all the gadgets you want and still suck at it
16). When your're hitting tight terrain, big fat sticks can be tough to work with if the conditions aren't perfect.
17). Nobody's pumped that someone's already been there, but that won't stop you from skiing it too...
18). The more tracked out it is, the less I wanna ski it


I have so much more where that come from... From a mind that thinks of maybe four main things in a day, the biggest 2 of which are sex and skiing. This is cake...
post #21 of 93
When you sell either, you find that your 'best customer' is usually a prick.
If you're gonna hit the back country, have protection.
There's nothing wrong with a little grooming.
I really don't care what your base layer looks like
practice, practice, practice and you'll get better.
What they do in the movies is best left to the real professionals.
You can cover up a lot of technical flaws by saying "it's my STYLE"
The more technical and analytical you make, the less fun it gets.
I like HEAD
Did I mention the more you analyze the details the less fun it is???
post #22 of 93
I like to wear a snorkle for both.
Never skied with a donkey.
You have to earn your turn.
They're both tough to do in the back seat.
Either way I always end up sitting in a wet spot.
post #23 of 93
Bondo, OK, you can't ski in the back seat of an MG Midget cause' it ain't got one but you sure can .... :
post #24 of 93
Turning pro feels weird at first. You have to get used to people watching you do it again and again and again, and often in slow-motion.
post #25 of 93
Skiing at the same mountain over and over again is like sex with a long time spouse or lover. You know the lines and curves, the way down is very familiar, sometimes it can be boring, but most times it feels good and sometimes it's still epic.
post #26 of 93
When you really get into it, you know there is no substitute for video analysis.
post #27 of 93
Speed is only fun when it lasts a long time.

-------

once... in college... (yes only once)... I had to imagine I was skiing to prolong the sex.


is that bad? Because I've never had to imagine sex to prolong my skiing sensations.
post #28 of 93
It cuts like a knife, but it feels so right.
post #29 of 93
hahaha... some of those had me laughing out loud and couldn't be more accurate.
Dowork...
12). Trying to go into areas that are roped off can get your pass pulled instantly.
... is one of my favorites.
post #30 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by drewski180 View Post
hahaha... some of those had me laughing out loud and couldn't be more accurate.
Dowork...
12). Trying to go into areas that are roped off can get your pass pulled instantly.
... is one of my favorites.

Hahaha thanks glad you liked it brotha... anybody who's had their pass pulled while not skiing knows what I'm talking about. : (awwwww babe- c'mon! It looked so great from the lift!)
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