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Bumper Stickers

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 
On Career and Success:

· Keep on working, millions on welfare depend on you!

· Excess is never too much in moderation.

· To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential.

· I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.

· Warning: Dates on calendar are closer than they appear.

· I R S: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

· Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

· It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

· All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

On Politics:

· If you can read this, you're not the president.

· Vote Democrat — it's easier than working!

· In America, anyone can be president. That's one of the risks you take.

· Taxation WITH representation ain't so hot, either!

· Be nice to America, or we'll bring democracy to your country.

On Religion:

· Jesus saves. He uses double coupons.

· Jesus loves you. But I'm his favorite.

· The meek shall inherit the earth, after we're through with it.

· Thank God I'm an atheist.

· As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

· If going to church makes you a Christian, does going into a garage make you a car?

· I didn't believe in reincarnation in my last life, either.

· Jesus died for my sins, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.

On Science:

· The generation of random numbers is too important to leave to chance.

· If it ain't broke, take it apart and fix it.

· Resistance is futile (if < 1 ohm).

· Does anal retentive have a hyphen?

· There's no place like

· Alcohol and calculus don't mix. DON'T DRINK AND DERIVE!

· There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.

· Black holes are where God divided by zero.

On People:

· So many stupid people, and so few asteroids.

· Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.

· Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

· Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

· I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.

· Is it time for your medication or mine?

· I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.

· Your kid may be an Honor Student, but YOU'RE still an idiot.

· Never miss a good opportunity to shut up.

· Karaoke bars combine two of the nation's greatest evils — people who shouldn't drink with people who shouldn't sing.

· Dyslexics are teople poo.

· God made us sisters; Prozac made us friends.

· If practice makes perfect, how do you explain taxi drivers?

· National Spellling Bee Runer Up

· My mother was a moonshiner, and I love her still.

· Your stupid!

· Ax me about Ebonics.

· My hockey Mom can beat up your soccer Mom.

· A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.

On Philosophy:

· I don't think, therefore I am not.

· I doubt, therefore I might be.

· I fish, therefore I lie.

· I complain, therefore I am.

· Above all else, sky.

· What is a "free gift?" Aren't all gifts free?

· Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

On Life:

· Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

· On the journey of life, I choose the psycho path.

· Visualize Whirled Peas

· Practice safe lunch: Use a condiment.

· A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

· Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

· Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.

· Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done.

· Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye opener.

· First things first, but not necessarily in that order.

· Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

· I need someone real bad. Are you real bad?

· Constipation causes people not to give a crap.

· Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

· If you're happy and you know it see a shrink.

· Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.

· If it isn't broken, fix it until it is.

· This bumper sticker intentionally left blank.

· Rock is dead. Long live paper and scissors.

· Suburbia: Where they tear out trees and name streets after them.

On Driving:

· Forget world peace; visualize using your turn signal.

· If you believe in telepathy, think about honking.

· Stoplights timed for 30 mph are also timed for 60 mph.

· If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.

· Driver carries no cash. He's married.

· Watch out for the idiot behind me.

· Honk if you hate peace and quiet.

On the Environment:

· So many cats, so few recipes.

· Save the trees, wipe your butt with an owl.

· EARTH FIRST! We'll strip-mine the other planets later.

On Health & Fitness:

· I don't have a beer gut, I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs.

· Rehab is for quitters.

· If you are what you eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy.

· I said "no" to drugs, but they didn't listen.

· Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter.

· Say "NO" to drugs. That will bring the prices down.

· Eat right, exercise, die anyway.
post #2 of 8
Best political bumper sticker I've seen this Presidential campaign.

post #3 of 8
HA! Funny pic!

Oooh yeah, how soon we forget. And if ol' Hil. gets the nod, how quickly and violently we'll be reminded.

The field day they'll have dredging up all 'that' will make the "Swift Boat" episode look like ''The Love Boat".
post #4 of 8
post #5 of 8
A few seen around here:

"Ted Kennedy's car has killed more people than my gun."

"My president is Charleton Heston."

"Save 100 elk. Kill a wolf."

post #6 of 8
"Don't steal: The government hates competition"
post #7 of 8
One of my favorite oldies harkens from the Watergate/Nixon era. :

Archibald Cox was appointed as the Justice Department Special Counsel to investigate and was on Tricky Dick like a fly on a Kansas cow flop. Nixon had him fired and bumper stickers started to pop up ...

"Fire The Cox Sacker"

post #8 of 8
Somewhere in Texas a village is missing their idiot.
Free mustache rides (personal Fav.)
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