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How Can I Protect My Balls??? - Page 2

post #31 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alpinord View Post
You need a relocated Tiddy Bear aka the Nuddy Bear:


post #32 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richie-Rich View Post


This would work.

But seriously, if you do a lot of jumping a jock strap and cup is not a bad idea. Jumping around with your boys loose can lead to varicose veins. Back when I used to BMX , the doc told me strap up the fellas or you'll have nuts hanging down to your knees with painful veins when youre a senior....Yikes!
wait-----yer recommending LESS THAN a full face helmet?

why the change of heart??
post #33 of 59
I was just thinking that it may be Mother Nature's way of telling you either stop doing what you're doing or don't have kids.
post #34 of 59
Well, the only real way to protect your cojones is to make yourself a batwing and tape that sucker up near your navel.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ByOxg...eature=related

I hope this video is of some help to you. The instructions are near the end at 5:35.

Carry on.
post #35 of 59
You could always ski with your fly open and let the cold weather cause shrinkage.
post #36 of 59
Get ol' Grannie to kint you a Kevlar Merkin ....

hit the search engine for prior thread on .. Merkin ..... or Google it ... :
post #37 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by skier_j View Post
wait-----yer recommending LESS THAN a full face helmet?

why the change of heart??
No, no, full face is a given you should know that by now.
post #38 of 59
Just get married...... your wife will have your balls in her purse within 6 months.
post #39 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by GrooK View Post
Oooooh, sackre bleu! Oui, oui?
post #40 of 59
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yuki View Post
Shouldn't be a factor at all.
Pipe & Park rats .... ain't gots' no balls .... they jus' gots' no brains.
So not to be worrying laddie.
:
Uh, that didn't even make sense. You're old and the way you ski is the reason why people think that skiing is gay.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Yukon View Post
Then don't land your 5's so ridiculously backseat.
They're actually switch 5's and this is my very first season
post #41 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by heydudeitsme View Post
Uh, that didn't even make sense. You're old and the way you ski is the reason why people think that skiing is gay.
Oh, snap!:
post #42 of 59
Tightie-Whities followed by a pair of compression shorts oughta do the trick. Keeps everything in place and doesn't allow a dangling participle.
post #43 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by heydudeitsme View Post
They're actually switch 5's and this is my very first season
So, he was right in saying not to land in the back seat, then?
post #44 of 59
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by samurai View Post
So, he was right in saying not to land in the back seat, then?
Yea, but "ski better" wasn't the advice I was looking for.
post #45 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by heydudeitsme View Post
Yea, but "ski better" wasn't the advice I was looking for.
How bout ski faster, pop harder? I suspect you may be pulling hard to eek out your last 180, raising your arms or inside arm to piroette the last turn. That sets you back. If you gut up and take more air you won't have to fight so hard to get the last turn and will have time to get your hands out front so you land square instead of backseat. So you can save your balls by having more balls
post #46 of 59
I say "Bring Back the Codpiece!"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codpiece

Every park should have its knight in shining armour. For your needs, a metal one would do nicely. One must protect ones carrots and onions....
post #47 of 59
HeyDude, if you're seriously asking the question, then 1) getting nutted on a rail is a possibility but slicing things up otherwise down there should not be high on your list of concerns, and 2) as you no doubt know, get to a forum where people ski park. www.newschoolers.com would be a thought. Oh and impact shorts...

At least no one in this thread told you to try to "stand" on a table first, though it may have been touch and go there for a while.
post #48 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by SGN View Post
I say "Bring Back the Codpiece!"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codpiece

Every park should have its knight in shining armour. For your needs, a metal one would do nicely. One must protect ones carrots and onions....
We always thought those stupid braces people wear when they BOWL looked like one of those. Here's my friend Jake during league play.

Kiss My Codpiece!!
post #49 of 59

I have three suggestions:

1. Stop doing 540s, take up downhill racing...it's much safer.

2. Take up bowling, or, alternatively, shuffleboard.

3. Ski with a jock...on your head. It won't help your private parts, but at least you'll be making a fashion statement when you go sterile...
post #50 of 59
This has to be the thread of the year. Great comments all.

My thought neutering.
post #51 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYSkier55 View Post
This has to be the thread of the year. Great comments all.

My thought neutering.
Oh, I don't know, this one about the cat pee was pretty freakin hilarious
http://forums.epicski.com/showthread.php?t=65142
post #52 of 59
Thread Starter 
God, some of you guys are losers...
Thanks to the people who gave me some good info.
post #53 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richie-Rich View Post
No, no, full face is a given you should know that by now.
guy in the picture you posted needs to be reminded then!
post #54 of 59
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHa......

Et-hem...

Martial arts Groin Guard?
post #55 of 59
this thread just goes to show you - you don't necessarily get more mature as you age

How about a soft cup or something? Or a hard one. Works for me in baseball - saved my boys more than once. Any protective gear is going to work to a point though. Beyond that you just have to try and avoid those situations.
post #56 of 59
Trekchick, I think you were right the cat pee thread was funnier and fast, that was like a 36 hour window of fast paced humor.
post #57 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYSkier55 View Post
Trekchick, I think you were right the cat pee thread was funnier and fast, that was like a 36 hour window of fast paced humor.
I voted that thread to be archived as classic long before it was finished
post #58 of 59
Cheap & Easy ...

Go down to the local scrap metal yard or chemical plant and get a 55 gallon steel drum.

Two holes for the legs and some rope for suspenders and ... viola ... an instant fashion statement leader fer' sure, not to mention that it would take an armor piercing round from a Barrett .50 to get to yer' nuggies.

post #59 of 59
just be sure you use 2 fuzzy merkin's to line the leg holes---lest they chafe
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