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How much did you cut back on skiing when you had a child? - Page 2

post #31 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by moguljunkie View Post
Any chance that these grandparents you speak of are open to adopting a kind, loving 39-year-old who will send them cards on their birthdays and call just to say hello once a week.

EDIT: I'm also good at massaging bunions.
Oh come now! I'm sure that your mom would love to spend time with the little darling!

Lisa, awaiting an angry phone call from Moguljunkie's mom!:
post #32 of 44
My experience -

My wife does not ski.

It makes a big difference how time-short your family is. My wife quit outside employment for a year, then was very part-time till our son was in school. We both worked about 55 hours per week before, afterwards I cut back to 40 (and maybe even skimped on that) for a year or two. Grandparents were retired, healthy, came to help for several week-long visits. Result - I cut back a lot on skiing, but still got a few day trips in.

Once he was three or four (forget exactly), we went a few overnights together where we gave him an opportunity to ski. On one trip he decided to try it, had a great time (one-on-one with college-aged instructors for a short, warm, non-frustrating lesson).

Once he was old enough to really ski, we started going on day trips with another family with one skier parent and similar age kids. (The other Dad skied a little for family togetherness, but was not into it.) That worked out nicely -- two parents herding three kids is easier than it would have been separately. Meanwhile I did a couple of day or one-night solo trips.

Once the kids were good enough to make it worthwhile (age 9-ish, I think) we went on Feb school vacation trips with the other family. This year they are remodelling their house so no ski vacation, so my son and I are going on a trip by ourselves (he is 15 now). Mom decided it was silly to come along and be by herself while we were skiing.

So to sum up my long-winded response -- a lot less skiing when they are babies, but later skiing becomes a wholesome family activity instead of Dad's selfish hobby.

Oh yeah - just remembered. Long business trips were much more of a problem than skiing. I went on a couple 3 week trips when he was a toddler -- bad news!
post #33 of 44
My advice; Back momma up and ski a few less days. You will be richly rewarded in the end and have your children on the slopes with you.

Want to ski? Ask momma what you have to do to earn a day. What you can do the make things easier for her?

If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. I followed these simple rules and have been married to the same person for 30 years now.

Skiing is now unencumbered once again.
post #34 of 44
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisamarie View Post
Oh come now! I'm sure that your mom would love to spend time with the little darling!
I think she likes shopping for cute outfits more than she does changing diapers. (Actually, she's been very helpful, except for the fact that she's not getting the hint when I leave Northern Vermont and Colorado real estate brochures lying around for her to read).
post #35 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by moguljunkie View Post
We had our first baby this past summer. Not only is taking care of her a huge time commitment, but there is added financial responsibility for me as the sole earner for the time being.

Part of me is saying put aside skiing for now. Work hard to make sure bills are paid. Use what little free time there is to help give my wife a break from the baby, so she can keep her sanity.

On the other hand, it looks like Vermont's going to get three feet of snow on Sunday. : Can I somehow justify sneaking off for a couple of days, leaving her to fend for herself...and to deal on her own with whatever snow we get at home? (Bringing family along on this trip, due to nasty road conditions, is not an option.)

How have other new parents dealt with this?
Everybody's situation is different.

Personally, I thank God I live 10 miles from one of the best ski hills in North America. It's easy for me to take a couple hours off of work and ski for a couple hours on my way to or from work, so the impact on my wife and family is minimal.

But, at least your thinking about it. Skiing wasn't my dad's addition, but I seriously doubt he even thought about the time he spent a way from me and my mom. It will work out. And, IMHO, if you know you aren't going to be able to make it up to the hill, stop looking at the ski reports when they're getting snow. It will only make your life miserable.
post #36 of 44

How much did you cut back on skiing when you had a child?

A lot.
Nearly all.
Not while they were very young (from 0 to 3 y.o.) .
At that stage, all that I was risking was a discussion with my then wife. But with enough compensations offered that could be handled.
If you buy a home, and are the only source of income and the kids grow up a bit (to the point that you start going to ski with the whole family) then
you have to cut back, for a while at least.
I consoled myself thinking that we, as a unit, were still putting on enough skiing days...
post #37 of 44
Its all about balance, both of you need your sanity. If you take a few days to ski and recharge, then pay back your spouse by doing something for her. Go as cheap as you can to minimize the financial pinch; although my kids are grown now, I use to sleep in the back of my truck to save money. Just know the best part is yet to come, when your little girl starts ripping up the mountain herself.
post #38 of 44
Great thread.

A couple of observations from a non-parent who happens to have a bunch of friends whose kids have started skiing (or sliding) at sub-two:

First off, I'm really surprised at what would appear to be the average age of many of you posters. LOTS of really young kids (and kids-to-be) here. That would seem to contradict the impression over at that *other* popular ski forum that is convinced everyone here on Epic is an old timer like me. Good on you all!

Second, I'm really impressed with all the the great observations here about handling the challenges of simultaneous love-of-skiing, love-of-spouse, and love-of-kids.

Lastly, I'll just give a little unsolicited advice from someone who has skied a few years. Giving up parts (or even all, God forbid) of a ski season or two really isn't going to destroy your love of the sport or your skills or anything else. Sacrificing a few seasons of skiing on your own in favor of getting your kids started is a great investment. Believe it or not, your skiing will survive a couple of seasons of fewer-than-optimal ski days.

I've seen countless families (kids AND parents) who consider their ski trips to be the most fun times of their lives together. Skiing is a fantastic sport for families. I see it all the time. It's just amazing.

So, here's a hefty dose of props to all of you who are raising families into skiing. Way to go!
post #39 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob Peters View Post
I'm really impressed with all the the great observations here about handling the challenges of simultaneous love-of-skiing, love-of-spouse, and love-of-kids.

Giving up parts (or even all, God forbid) of a ski season or two really isn't going to destroy your love of the sport or your skills or anything else. Sacrificing a few seasons of skiing on your own in favor of getting your kids started is a great investment. Believe it or not, your skiing will survive a couple of seasons of fewer-than-optimal ski days.
What were those other two loves again? Sorry, just kidding. I don't agree that giving up entire seasons is a good idea, but then again, I'm not getting any younger here. I think the reasonable thing to do is to choose your skiing with more discrimination when you've got a family. For example, end of last season the skiing was crap in the morning, soupy by 3. In other years I'd have just skied all day anyway. Instead, I took my 3-year old to the park in the morning, skied from around noon to 2, then went home to play with him in the afternoon. If it's epic I still try to ski all day. If it's marginal, now I'm more likely to stay home (or maybe ski with my older boy a little).
post #40 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by UGASkiDawg View Post
Step 1: Buy a place near a ski area
Step 2: Go to said place every weekend during ski season
Step 3: Ski a half day and let the wife do something the other half day ever weekend
Step 4: Gets kid on skis as soon as they can walk

Using this method you can get in 50-60 half days skiing every year and by the time the kids are 5 you an ski all day both days every weekend.
Ditto on this end except "the wife" (me) ended up letting the husband sleep in to his heart's content with the baby in the room while I skied. We started the kid on skis as soon as her weight was enough for the bindings. Prior to that she got carted over to the slopes and was told, "Look at all the people playing and having fun! Pretty soon that will be you!" (Brainwashing.) When we started her skiing, I'd go out in the morning first chair and be ready at noon to spend time on the snow with her. I got MY skiing in and so could be more relaxed about the amount of skiing that was accomplished in the PM. I also made sure not to have her out the first two years in unpleasant conditions. After that, however, she got subjected to howling winds, rain, etc. I did all the teaching the first 5 seasons. We bonded. That bond is still strong today and I credit all the lift rides together.

We actually put the deposit on the condo BEFORE we knew I was pregnant and decided to go through with the purchase anyway. Best thing we ever did....other than moving to Montana.
post #41 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by prickly View Post
I set my personal record, 50 days, the year my first son was born. Threw in a heli trip to Canada that year too. Topped it at 52 the next season. But last year, with wife pregnant with number two, I slowed down a bit in number of days (38, with a Canada cat trip) but still had a great season. This year's off to a good start even with two little ones. Maybe days are more chaotic, taking the four-year-old to lessons, juggling babysitter to try and get some ski days for my wife too, but it seems to be working. The key is that skiing is important to me and my family, hopefully will stay that way. It's the other, more marginal things that end up getting eliminated (sleep, books, friends, movies, etc.).
Quote:
Originally Posted by prickly View Post
What were those other two loves again? Sorry, just kidding. I don't agree that giving up entire seasons is a good idea, but then again, I'm not getting any younger here. I think the reasonable thing to do is to choose your skiing with more discrimination when you've got a family. For example, end of last season the skiing was crap in the morning, soupy by 3. In other years I'd have just skied all day anyway. Instead, I took my 3-year old to the park in the morning, skied from around noon to 2, then went home to play with him in the afternoon. If it's epic I still try to ski all day. If it's marginal, now I'm more likely to stay home (or maybe ski with my older boy a little).
Prickly, my guess is that moguljunkie (and for that matter most of the people who post on Epicski) doesn't have the same amount of financial resources as you do to devote to skiing. Yes, money isn't everything, but since skiing is a relatively expensive sport having more generally makes it easier. Unless I'm reading into your posts incorrectly it seems like you have not made much sacrifice of your personal skiing since you've had kids. That's your personal decision. If you're wife is supportive of your skiing choices, good on you.

However, my impression is that moguljunkie feels like if he were to continue with his pre-kid amount of skiing it would cause strife in his family. He is looking to see how others have compromised. To tell him that he should continue to ski the same as prior to having kids doesn't sound like a realistic option for him. Actually, it doesn't sound like a realistic option for just about anyone who has young kids.

I like what many others have said. Having 2 kids (7yo and 4yo) myself, yes, there should be compromise. And, yes, make sure your wife is OK with what you skiing plans are. If she's OK with you skiing the same or more the before kids, great. But, like others have said, make sure she's OK with it. You will likely either ski less than you did before, ski differently than how you did before (ie ski with kids) or some combination of the two. That's OK. When your kids are skiing it'll be a blast for you. The joys of skiing with the kids is equal to if not greater that the fun of skiing solo or with your buddies.

Quote:
Originally Posted by moguljunkie View Post
So, I told my wife yesterday no solo overnight Vermont trips this year. She seemed to really appreciate my decision. Yes, not skiing as much this year will make me a little crazy. But her not getting sufficient breaks from taking care of the baby will likely drive her completely off the deep end.
I know my wife loves it when I come to unsolicited and unselfish personal sacrifices that will best serve her and the family. I think you scored some big points with your above decision. It's great that you're being proactive and putting your wife and family needs before your wants/needs. In the long run, your marriage and family will be better off for your sacrifices.
post #42 of 44
Our two children rendered us mostly to weekends for a few years, but once the youngest one turned 3, we never looked back. Now they are 18 and 14. The 18yr old can take it or leave it now along with my wife, but the 14 yr old rips. We take at least one western trip a year. Corny but true, chairlift time is great bonding time (or when she make me hike Devils Castle with her) It'll be the time of your life!
post #43 of 44
These precious kids may be a speed bump in the activity level for a short time, but before you know it, they will be an inspiration, taking you to a whole new level. Embrace it!

The dads that come to mind as I type this are epic and philpug. Epics daughter is an inspiration in a tiny package, and Philpugs son is now a man and its all Phil can do to keep up.
post #44 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trekchick View Post
These precious kids may be a speed bump in the activity level for a short time, but before you know it, they will be an inspiration, taking you to a whole new level. Embrace it!

The dads that come to mind as I type this are epic and philpug. Epics daughter is an inspiration in a tiny package, and Philpugs son is now a man and its all Phil can do to keep up.
Don't forget Alfonse..he has a daughter that rips now.


Past that....You need to be creative. Those lockers and baskets at the base lodge? not just for gear. The hooks people hang their bags on? just the right height for a papoose.
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