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Should be enough here to Offend Everybody

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 
KNOW YOUR STATE MOTTO:

Alabama
Hell, Yes, We Have Electricity.

Alaska
11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

Arizona
Yes, But It's A Dry Heat.

Arkansas
Literacy Ain't Everythang.

California
By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda.

Colorado
If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother.

Connecticut
Like Massachusetts , only smaller.

Delaware
We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water.

Florida
Ask Us About Our Grand kids And Our Voting Skills.

Georgia
We Put The Fun In Fundamentalist Extremism.

Hawaii
Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, Leave Your Money)

Idaho
More Than Just Potatoes. Well, Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

Illinois
Please, Don't Pronounce the 'S'

Indiana
2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

Iowa
We Do Amazing Things With Corn

Kansas
First Of The Rectangle states

Kentucky
Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

Louisiana
We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign.

Maine
We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

Maryland
If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

Massachusetts
Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's And Our Senators Are More Corrupt

Michigan
First Line Of Defense .... From The Canadians

Minnesota
10,000 Lakes... And 10 Zillion Mosquitoes

Mississippi
Come visit And Feel Better About Your Own State

Missouri
Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work

Montana
Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies, and Honest Elections

Nebraska
Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nevada
Hookers and Poker!

New Hampshire
Go Away And Leave Us Alone

New Jersey
You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right here!

New Mexico
Lizards Make Excellent Pets

New York
You Have The Right To Remain Silent,
You Have The Right To An Attorney
And No Right To Self Defense!

North Carolina
Tobacco Is A Vegetable

North Dakota
We Really Are One Of The 50 States!

Ohio
At Least We're Not Michigan

Oklahoma
Like The Play, But No Singing

Oregon
Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner

Pennsylvania
Cook With Coal

Rhode Island
We're Not REALLY An Island

South Carolina
Remember The Civil War? Well, We Didn't Actually Surrender, Yet!

South Dakota
Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee
Home of the Al Gore Invention Museum

Texas
Se Hable Ingles

Utah
Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Vermont
Too liberal for the Kennedy's

Virginia
Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Washington
Our Governor can out-fraud your Governor!

West Virginia
One Big Happy Family...Really!

Wisconsin
Come Cut the Cheese!

Wyoming
Where Men are Men and the Sheep are Scared. Home of Brokeback Mountain

The District of Columbia
The Work-Free Drug Place
post #2 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Vertical View Post
KNOW YOUR STATE MOTTO:

Pennsylvania
Cook With Coal
I'm not offended.

48% of the country cooks with coal, but they're really sneaky about it, they call it electricity to get you to bring it into your house.
post #3 of 15

offended in NJ

We here in New Jersey, "The Garden State", have pretty thick skin and are so used to unwarranted insults that as you have posted above; they roll, like water off a ducks back.

Of course I should also mention that we don't have to be offended in order to call cousin Vinnie to break your freakin fingers. I mean I just may be feeling a little "moody" today, like I'm not havin' a bluebird kidna' day and I still like ya' and all .... think of this the next time you are going to post something about us. Are you gonna' be able to jockey that keyboard with your hands in casts and bandages.

From NJ with love ... guess which "garden" Jimmie Hoffa is pushin up veggables in?
post #4 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Vertical View Post
New Hampshire
Go Away And Leave Us Alone
Sounds about right. Along the same lines, my dad had a pretty good one regarding tourists once.

"Next year just send the money"
post #5 of 15
Alaska: For people who think Montana is too crowded
post #6 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Vertical View Post
Kentucky
Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
My investment guy sent this to me when he heard I was moving to Kentucky. Still chuckling...
post #7 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Vertical View Post
Louisiana
We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign.
That is offensive!
We're not all cajun.
post #8 of 15
Your killin me..........Spotted Owl the other chicken.
post #9 of 15
not at all offensive. but boring.
post #10 of 15
If the Tooth Brush had not been invented in Kentucky it would have been called the Teeth Brush
post #11 of 15
You need to offend the 'Eurozone' as well to "Offend Everybody"
I'll flip some in for ya:

Sweden:
We got dumb blonde girls, but alcohol prices suck!

Norway:
Alcohol prices suck, but hell, we're rich!

Denmark:
We're so racist you wouldn't believe it. (about 15% voted for the Danish Folksparty - a really crappy right wing party..)
Btw. Lets invade Norway for their oil

Germany:
We got so much unemployment, but the döners rock

Netherlands:
We can smoke weed! Yahoo! Come join us all

Just my boring input lol
post #12 of 15
What would be offensive about that?

Colorado
If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother.
post #13 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Philpug View Post
Alaska: For people who think Montana is too crowded
Montana is crowded.
post #14 of 15
(wonder what each state's Barbies would look like :. Here's Colorado's.)

Speaking of Montana:

Jeff Foxworthy's comments on Montana

If "vacation" to you means going shopping for the weekend in Great Falls, Billings or Bozeman (while the kids swim at the Comfort Inn), You might live in Montana.

If parking your car for the night involves an extension cord You might live in Montana

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 8
inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim
by, You might live in Montana.

If you're proud that your state makes the national news primarily
because it houses the coldest spot in the nation, You might live in
Montana.

If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy", You might live in Montana

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, You might live in Montana.

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, You might live in Montana.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his
forehead, You might live in Montana.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, You might live in Montana.

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, You might live in Montana.

If you know how to correctly pronounce Butte, You might live in Montana.

If you measure distance in hours, You might live in Montana.

If your family vehicle is a crew cab pickup, You might live in Montana.

If you know several people who have hit deer more than once, You might live in Montana.

If you often switch from "heat" to "A/C"in the same day and back again, You might live in Montana.

If you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching, You might live in Montana.

If you see people wearing hunting clothes at social events, You might live in Montana.

If you've installed security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked, You might live in Montana.

If the largest traffic jam in your town centers around a high school
basketball game, You might live in Montana.

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them, You might live in Montana.

If there are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Wal-Mart at any given time, You might live in Montana.

If there are more people at work on Christmas Eve Day than on Deer gun Opener,You might live in Montana.

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, You might live in Montana.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
snow, You might live in Montana.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, You might live in Montana.

If you can identify a southern or eastern accent, You might live in
Montana.

If you consider Red Lodge exotic, You might live in Montana.

If your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your cottonwood, You might live in Montana.

If the sunbelt to you means Miles City, You might live in Montana.

If a brat is something you eat, You might live in Montana.

If finding your misplaced car keys involves looking in the ignition, You might live in Montana.

If you find 0 degrees a little chilly, You might live in Montana.

If you actually understand these observations, and you forward them to all your Montana friends, You must live in Montana
post #15 of 15
San Francisco: birth place of the Rear Entry Ski Boot
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