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What? No Sex for One Month?

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 
A young couple wanted to join a church, and the pastor instructed them, "We have a special requirement for new member couples. You must abstain from sex for one whole month."

The couple agreed, but after two-and-a-half weeks returned to the church. When the pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was crying and the husband obviously very depressed. "You are back so soon ... Is there a problem?" the pastor inquired.

"We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex for the required month," the young man replied sadly.

The pastor asked what had happened.

"Well, the first week was difficult... However, we managed to abstain through sheer willpower. The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain. However, the third week was unbearable. We tried cold showers, prayer, reading from the Bible...anything to keep our minds off carnal thoughts." He sighed, shaking his head. "One afternoon my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and I just had my way with her right then and there. It was lustful, loud, passionate sex. It lasted for over an hour and when we were done we were both drenched in sweat," admitted the man, shamefacedly.

The pastor lowered his head and said sternly, "You understand that this means you will not be welcome in our church."

"We know." said the young man, nodding with a serious, straight face. "We're not welcome at Home Depot any more, either."
post #2 of 4


Maybe we should start a new thread. List the most unusual place you have had sex with an opposite sex partner? Now that would be an interesting topic for pre-winter humor etc.:
post #3 of 4
1- under the bleachers at my high school's battle of the bands... a few feet away from the crowd.

2- in the biology lab at the same school, during a school dance. We joked about the freshmen who would be scraping the white stuff off the counter the following Monday out of boredom... wondering what it was.

(aweful, I know, but I couldn't resist.)
post #4 of 4
their first mistake was wanting to join a church
maybe there were no ski hills around?
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