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What Is A Gaper? - Page 4

post #91 of 175
Quote:
Originally Posted by HeluvaSkier View Post
It looks like I am going to have to ski Metrons with plug boots and a matching Marmot or Patagonia outfit. : Beat that!
I bow to your gaperness, I am defeated... (I didn't see a crying emodicon)
post #92 of 175
Check out the racer gapers puffing out their chests. Skiingman hikes ridges in lifted plugs and cat tracks, but he admits that's gaperish. Let's face it, the guy in the Spyder suit is more likely to be the guy gaping at the guy launching a cliff than to be the guy launching a cliff.

We've all read about or seen the guy in a Starter jacket and jeans ripping state-of-the-art tele turns through the bumps, and the guy hiking in plugs is maybe a similar exception. The difference between these guys and the racer gapers is the fact that the guy in the Starter jacket and the guy hiking for powder in plugs wouldn't get their feathers so ruffled if someone suggested that they aren't all that.
post #93 of 175
I'm not quite a Gaper yet but i'm working on it.
post #94 of 175
Quote:
Originally Posted by HeluvaSkier View Post
I have good new for you! You're not a gaper afterall! The XT-17 isn't a "real" plug.
Later
GREG
Is too!

I am a gaper!

I thought the XT17 and XT24 had the same monoblock lower boot and the cuff was the difference but what do I know? ::: I'm a gaper.
post #95 of 175
Quote:
Originally Posted by HeluvaSkier View Post
It looks like I am going to have to ski Metrons with plug boots and a matching Marmot or Patagonia outfit. : Beat that!
It looks like I am going to have to ski Metrons with plug boots and a matching Spyder or Patagonia outfit. : Beat that!

Fixed it for you.

Marmot? C'mon, Marmot's still real. Spyder, Bogner, Phenix are true gaper clothes, and even North Face is MUCH closer to gaper attire.

Metron's will probably be voted one of the highest (lowest?) all time gaper skis in the future.

B2's will score heavily in the voting too.
post #96 of 175
Quote:
Originally Posted by snofun3 View Post
Marmot? C'mon, Marmot's still real. Spyder, Bogner, Phenix are true gaper clothes, and even North Face is MUCH closer to gaper attire.
I do need a new coat and pants this year to ski in... My Karbon coat is 7 years old, and my Northface pants are 12 years old. So you're saying that I should get a matching Spyder, Bogner (that is one that I forgot about), Phenix, or Northface suit to better fit into the crowd? I'm on my way to the ski shop shortly - or should I buy them at Dick's Sporting Goods? :

Later

GREG
post #97 of 175
Quote:
Originally Posted by bjohansson View Post
Is too!

I am a gaper!

I thought the XT17 and XT24 had the same monoblock lower boot and the cuff was the difference but what do I know? ::: I'm a gaper.
I thought they were actually the same boot with different flexes... but you may be right - the cuff on the 24 was certianly stiffer. I liked the orange better than the yellow that the XT17 came in, and the 24 didn't feel like it would break. I wish they would have kept that shell when they introduced the high volume replacement for those boots... the Pro 130. ()

Later

GREG
post #98 of 175
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trotski View Post
I've seen this terms for years now, esp. from the TGR crowd, and I think I know what it means, in general.

But I'm curious how others define it. So, how do you define the term Gaper?
If you have to ask....
post #99 of 175
Quote:
Originally Posted by HeluvaSkier View Post
I liked the orange better than the yellow that the XT17 came in, and the 24 didn't feel like it would break. I wish they would have kept that shell when they introduced the high volume replacement for those boots... the Pro 130. ()

Later

GREG
The 02-03 model is the darker orange. The 04-05 pair I have is the "Tang" color. I like the older ones better. They match my one piece fartbag
post #100 of 175
Two pages about plug boots and HighwaySyar is still awol.
You guys should start arguing about your race stock bindings.
post #101 of 175
Race stock bindings, They're for wimps! I use a nail gun and set the nails through the balls of my feet and through the heel. This provides a much better and tighter boot/ski feel and stops the dreaded heel lift.
post #102 of 175
I always thought a Gaper was just a SPORE with better skis.
post #103 of 175
Quote:
Originally Posted by philippeR View Post
You guys should start arguing about your race stock bindings.
Race stock jeans are the next topic.
post #104 of 175
I have sweats with "go giants" emblazoned on the side, does that count?
post #105 of 175
Quote:
Originally Posted by Finndog View Post
I have sweats with "go giants" emblazoned on the side, does that count?
I think you'd score more gaper points if you were a Jets fan AND had the Starter coat to prove it...
post #106 of 175
Well, I am a Jets and Giants fan, no starter jacket i am sad to say. But I am willing to get one if that's what it takes
post #107 of 175
Quote:
Originally Posted by slider View Post
We've all heard them before but it's that time of year again for.......................

Real Skier vs. Expert Skier


Expert Skier: Drives to the local resort in the Beemer with the skis on the rack upside down, tips back, ...

Real Skier: Hasn't dug his/her 1976 Ford F150 Pickup out since the last time he got an impound warning for impeding snow removal, walks to the lift, never shows his pass.



Expert Skier: Got a great deal on the latest in ski gear at Sniagrab.

Real Skier: Picked up a used set at a garage sale and found his bindings in the dumpster outside his apartment.



Expert Skier: Goes out to a fine restaurant for dinner apres ski.

Real Skier: Is his waiter.



Expert Skier: His favorite run has a name like Jaws of Death, Outer Limits, White Heat, or some such.

Real Skier: His favorite run has no name.



Expert Skier: Counts the number of days he skied last season.

Real Skier: Counts the number of days he missed all year.



Expert Skier: Wishes the ski season was longer.

Real Skier: Didn't realize skiing was restricted to a particular season, only that sometimes the lifts run and sometimes they don't.



Expert Skier: Calls the avalanche report before hitting the resort.

Real Skier: Calls in his observations to the Avalanche Forcast Center when he gets back from his tour.



Expert Skier: Tells everyone that they should ski his favorite resort.

Real Skier: Tells everyone that they should ski somewhere else.



Expert Skier: Thinks the new lift is great.

Real Skier: Spent all last night loosening the bolts on pole 12 of the new lift.



Expert Skier: Feels confident adjusting his binding.

Real Skier: Feels comfortable mounting his bindings.



Expert Skier: Thinks the female lift attendant is cute.

Real Skier: Blushes when she tells him how much she enjoyed last night.



Expert Skier: Subscribes to Powder Magazine to find out the hot places to ski.

Real Skier: Skims through the ski rags while he's at the sev' buying beer to see how many of his favorite places they've ruined.



Expert Skier: Thinks Vail is the resort of all resorts.

Real Skier: Tells everyone that Vail is the resort of all resorts.



Expert Skier: Buys all his buddies beers at the lodge.

Real Skier: Gets all his beer free cuz he lives with the guy tending bar.



Expert Skier: Gets real pissed off when someone skis over the tops of his skis.

Real Skier: Paints his skis flat black so no one will steal them, worries about the bottoms of his skis... not the tops.



Expert Skier: Calls the resort snow report before heading up.

Real Skier: Carries a hand held scanner so he knows when the patrol is going to open the bowls.



Expert Skier: Thinks off-piste is when you step into the trees to relieve yourself. (Thanx Dave!)

Real Skier: Skis home to pee.



Expert Skier: Thinks the backcountry is a bar.

Real Skier: Chuckles when some touron asks him where he can find the Backcountry.



Expert Skier: Thinks climbing skins are made of brightly colored Lycra(tm).

Real Skier: Knows how to reglue them.



Expert Skier: Thinks snowboarders are pretty damn funny.

Real Skier: Thinks snowboarders are pretty damn funny.



Expert Skier: Has a fancy ski rack on his car.

Real Skier: Has a fancy ski rack by the front door.



Expert Skier: Sharpens his edges once a week.

Real Skier: Sharpens his edges when he flies home to visit his parents for Christmas in Vermont.



Expert Skier: Knows all about snow making....

Real Skier: Worked on the snowmaking crew for three years.



Expert Skier: Calls a 1-900 number to get the latest weather report.

Real Skier: Steps outside and looks up...



Expert Skier: Has a Grateful Dead sticker on his BMW.

Real Skier: Lives with four dead-heads in a one bedroom apartment.



Expert Skier: Has a gagloop of ski passes hanging all over his jacket from places like Breckenridge and Vail and Aspen.

Real Skier: Forgot his season pass at home... but it doesn't really matter.



Expert skier: Narrowly avoided injury in his last fall cuz his skis came off.

Real skier: Narrowly avoided injury in his last fall cuz his skis stayed on.



Expert Skier: Wears GoreTex(tm).

Real Skier: Wears duct tape.



Expert Skier: Thinks high speed quads are a type of ski lift.

Real Skier: Thinks high speed quads are the leg muscles of the guy breaking trail. (Again.. Thanx Dave)



Expert Skier: Gets all excited cuz it snowed 12 inches, gets up early so he can beat the crowds.

Real Skier: Sleeps in til noon since it only snowed a foot overnight.



Expert Skier: Goes on ski vacation, flies out, rents a fancy Ford Explorer that he parks outside the three bedroom condo he rents.

Real Skier: Comes home from skiing to find some dumbshit tourist has parked a Ford Explorer with a Budget Rent-a-Car sticker in his spot again, pulls the valve stem cores from three tires, and tapes them to the windshield with a nasty note.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ski vacation is almost here! Hence, the following list of
exercises to get you prepared:

16. Visit your local butcher and pay $30 to sit in the walk-in freezer for a half an hour. Afterwards, burn two $50 dollar bills to warm up.
15. Soak your gloves and store them in the freezer after every use.
14. Fasten a small, wide rubber band around the top half of your head before you go to bed each night.
13. If you wear glasses, begin wearing them with glue smeared on the lenses.
12. Throw away a hundred dollar bill-now.
11. Find the nearest ice rink and walk across the ice 20 times in your ski boots carrying two pairs of skis, accessory bag and poles. Pretend you are looking for your car. Sporadically drop things.
10. Place a small but angular pebble in your shoes, line them with crushed ice, and then tighten a C-clamp around your toes.
9. Buy a new pair of gloves and immediately throw one away.
8. Secure one of your ankles to a bedpost and ask a friend to run into you at high speed.
7. Go to McDonald's and insist on paying $8.50 for a hamburger. Be sure you are in the longest line.
6. Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a motorcycle fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face.
5. Drive slowly for five hours - anywhere - as long as it's in a snowstorm and you're following an 18-wheeler.
4. Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the spray blast your face. Leave the ice on your face until it melts. Let it drip into your clothes.
3. Dress up in as many clothes as you can and then proceed to take them off because you have to go to the bathroom.
2. Slam your thumb in a car door. Don't go see a doctor.
1. Repeat all of the above every Saturday and Sunday until it's time for the real thing!

Thank-You, That is all.^*~

Sounds like an expert skier is someone who used to be a real skier but now has a job in the city.
post #108 of 175
When I was a kid a gaper would have been anyone who did NOT have his jacket covered with patches from every ski area he'd skied sewn all over the sleeves and back, more patches = more cool. Of course it was mandatory to have your USSA patch sewn over your heart.

I now have "normal" ski attire but since I'm not overly concerned with fashion I skied a couple of seasons in a one piece camouflage hunting suit, managed to draw a few odd looks. Just don't crash in the trees... nobody will every find you.
post #109 of 175
Gaper? Anyone over age 9 who refers to powder snow as "pow".
post #110 of 175
From a previous post:

Expert Skier: Drives to the local resort in the Beemer with the skis on the rack upside down, tips back, ...

First of all, let's get the terminology correct. You "ride" a "Beemer" and you "drive" a "Bimmer". BMW motorcycles are "Beemers"; BMW cars are "Bimmers".

Secondly -- tips back? You bet. Have you ever noticed the upward bend of skis top-up/tips forward on a car that's passing you at 80mph? I actually saw a rack with 4 pairs of skis fly off the roof of an SUV on I-93 in NH. The skis got a nice high-speed base grind on the pavement :

Yes, I do drive a Bimmer, but usually not to the ski area - that's what Subarus were invented for.

post #111 of 175
Quote:
Originally Posted by philippeR View Post
Two pages about plug boots and HighwaySyar is still awol.
You guys should start arguing about your race stock bindings.
HS is without a doubt, a gaper. He has silver blocks under his bindings, 2.5" lifters I guess. I'd like to ski with him sometime, but I'd be self-conscious just standing in line with him.

But I believe that a gaper can be transformed by the excellence of their skiing Someone who is such a gaper that everyone looks and says OMG, look at that guy. Then when the guy can ski, people feel guilty for judging. We should accept people for the way they are - if they can ski:
post #112 of 175
A Gaper: The guy on the lift next to you in jeans, an unzipped jacket wearing one of those Neoprene "Masque" things.

An Elitist Skier: The guy making fun of the aforementioned gaper.

A Real Skier: The guy who carries on a conversation with the above gaper on the lift ride up - telling him about the mountain and offering (if requested!) advice on where/how to ski!


I Brake For Gapers.
post #113 of 175
Hmm, there is a fine line where having money almost by default makes you a gaper by the above definitions, they are funny though.

I am claiming gaper status as I bought a Tech4O this summer! (Speedometer, I couldn't resist the deal, was much less than this.) Is there any hope for me or am beyond help?
post #114 of 175
Another thought, are there gaper levels?
mild-
moderate -
Severe or terminal-
post #115 of 175
Like I said more photos less words.

Found these by doing Google Image search for "ski gaper"


Gaper Day 2004Check out the Gaper video

Some Gapers are very fine :

post #116 of 175
Quote:
Originally Posted by Finndog View Post
I am claiming gaper status as I bought a Tech4O this summer! (Speedometer, I couldn't resist the deal, was much less than this.) Is there any hope for me or am beyond help?
Whoa... that is pretty intense gaperness. You've topped me I think. Although, some spend more on lunch for their family at Vail than that thing costs... so you might not quite be at the top yet.
post #117 of 175
Quote:
Originally Posted by catskills View Post
I think some gapers should be given the benefit of the doubt. Or schooled at great length over cocktails about the errors of their ways.
post #118 of 175
Quote:
Originally Posted by catskills View Post
Like I said more photos less words.

Found these by doing Google Image search for "ski gaper"


Gaper Day 2004Check out the Gaper video

Some Gapers are very fine :

Now I really want to be a gaper...... She looks so lonely......: nothing that can't be fixed with a quick visit to the nearest ski shop.....
post #119 of 175
Was it not Rene Descartes who said, "Gape-ito ergo sum." Translated: I gape, therefore I am!
post #120 of 175
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snowsport View Post
From a previous post:

Expert Skier: Drives to the local resort in the Beemer with the skis on the rack upside down, tips back, ...

First of all, let's get the terminology correct. You "ride" a "Beemer" and you "drive" a "Bimmer". BMW motorcycles are "Beemers"; BMW cars are "Bimmers".

Secondly -- tips back? You bet. Have you ever noticed the upward bend of skis top-up/tips forward on a car that's passing you at 80mph? I actually saw a rack with 4 pairs of skis fly off the roof of an SUV on I-93 in NH. The skis got a nice high-speed base grind on the pavement :

Yes, I do drive a Bimmer, but usually not to the ski area - that's what Subarus were invented for.

Wow. I hope you aren't serious. No one cares that you drive a BMW.

To avoid the tip problem, put the tips inside a rocket box so that your skis don't get a nice coating of road chemicals. :

if (serious)
{
you && gaper == true;
}
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