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World War III

post #1 of 30
Thread Starter 
President Bush decides to leave the Wh!ite House and go out to sit in a local bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush sitting at the end of the bar?"

The bartender says, "Yep, that's him." So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor! What are you doing in here?"

Bush says, " I'm planning WW III." The guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?" Bush says, "Well, I'm going to kill 140 million Muslims and one blonde with big t!ts. The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big tits? Why kill a blonde with big t!ts?"

Bush turns to the bartender and says,
"See, I told you, no one gives a $h!t about the 140 million Muslims".
post #2 of 30
So oboe, do you assume there are no Muslims on epic? Or if not do you think that they wouldn't mind this joke?


Not to be too PC but these days I would certainly hate to be a Muslim in this country and see no need to make it worse through humor implying that noone cares if they live or die.
post #3 of 30
If I were Muslim I would probably tell that joke. It's a black joke to me, not a funny ha, ha one. It would probably be better placed in the P&HT section.
post #4 of 30
outrage over a joke about killing Muslims but ...
NO OUTRAGE OVER A JOKE ABOUT KILLING A BLONDE???

HERE WE GO AGAIN!!
post #5 of 30
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Posaune View Post
If I were Muslim I would probably tell that joke. It's a black joke to me, not a funny ha, ha one. It would probably be better placed in the P&HT section.
I can't quarrel with that. . . but I wouldn't have called it a black joke.
post #6 of 30
Thread Starter 
FWIW, my family members include Muslims, Catholics, Jews, Lutherans and Methodists. Also includes French, Irish, Albanian, Canadian, English, Hispanic and Russian. Some born in USA including Puerto Rico, some in Albania, some in Russia, some in Canada.

With apologies to anyone who mistook the object of my humor, the object is not a blond with big t!ts and not 160 million Muslims. Just to narrow the field for the uncorrected myopic, neither is it the bartender or the fellow entering the bar, any but one guest in the bar, nor anyone outside the bar.

Hope this helps. Oh darn, my apologies to the myopic, including myself.
post #7 of 30
:::::

You publicly admit to being related to Methodists????
post #8 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by SkiMangoJazz View Post
So oboe, do you assume there are no Muslims on epic? Or if not do you think that they wouldn't mind this joke?
Yeah really. Oboe - don't you realise you've put yourself at dire risk of being suicide bombed by posting this joke??:

Holy jumping Jesus, skimangojazz, lighten the hell up.:::

Durka durka jihad. Fatwa, fatwa!
post #9 of 30
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stache View Post
:::::

You publicly admit to being related to Methodists????
Every family has its secrets, as has mine . . . until now.
post #10 of 30
Please don't discriminate against large breasted blonde women! (they are a minority ya know
post #11 of 30
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ct55 View Post
Please don't discriminate against large breasted blonde women! (they are a minority ya know
Wait a minute . . . I don't understand. Show me a photo of one of them so I can see what you mean. Actually, many photos of many of them, clothing optional.
post #12 of 30
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"
post #13 of 30
A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "Why the long face."

Hopefully this doesn't offend anyone, unless you have a horseface.
post #14 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by DangerousBrian View Post
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"
That's funny enough to deserve it's own thread!
post #15 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by DangerousBrian View Post
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"
Secretary Rumsfeld, caught off guard awarkadly fudges: "I'm not sure Mr. President, but I'm sure that it is less than a chillion".

Cheers.

CP
post #16 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by SkiMangoJazz View Post
So oboe, do you assume there are no Muslims on epic? Or if not do you think that they wouldn't mind this joke?


Not to be too PC but these days I would certainly hate to be a Muslim in this country and see no need to make it worse through humor implying that noone cares if they live or die.
That's a good one. And absolutely no offensive to muslims. I think you missed the pun.
post #17 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by ct55 View Post
Please don't discriminate against large breasted blonde women! (they are a minority ya know

Ok, so which is worse, the silicone or the peroxide?
post #18 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by oboe View Post
FWIW, my family members include Muslims, Catholics, Jews, Lutherans and Methodists. Also includes French, Irish, Albanian, Canadian, English, Hispanic and Russian. Some born in USA including Puerto Rico, some in Albania, some in Russia, some in Canada.

And even worse.... LAWYERS...God what is this world coming to????
post #19 of 30
Thread Starter 
Hopefully . . . to LAWYERS! Especially lawyers who are paying their kids' college tuition.
post #20 of 30
Gotta have a fatwad of cash to afford a good lawyer?

So this Eskimo terrorist walks into .... oops ... sorry ... this Inuit terrorist walks into a bar and says to the Rabbi ..

Oooooooo sorry we may have an Eskimo aka Inuit aka Northern Canadian Abo on Epic ... pity cause it was a funny one too!

:

Old expression .... "f' you if you can't take a joke" .. :
post #21 of 30
Wait a minute! First it was 140 million Muslims; then it was 160 million. So how many big-breasted blondes can be found among 20 million missing Muslims?
post #22 of 30
Mock my comment all you like, and I certainly can take a joke,

but my point had validity. If you were Muslim you'd agree. But of course all the rest of us can just laugh - who cares after all?
post #23 of 30
Who. Who cares.

Who is on first?
post #24 of 30
Actually there are around 1 Billion Muslims by some counts. The fundamentalists (small fraction) don't take kindly to jokes unfortunately (not saying that's right just saying)

Ericsson just issued a travel warning because some Swedish newspaper published a cartoon the other day ... great so now the crazies hate Swedes too.
post #25 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by ct55 View Post
Actually there are around 1 Billion Muslims by some counts. The fundamentalists (small fraction) don't take kindly to jokes unfortunately (not saying that's right just saying)

Ericsson just issued a travel warning because some Swedish newspaper published a cartoon the other day ... great so now the crazies hate Swedes too.
I hate them too. My Sony Ericsson cell phone is such a piece of crap I'd gladly issue a fatwa on whoever designed the thing.
post #26 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by philippeR View Post
I hate them too. My Sony Ericsson cell phone is such a piece of crap I'd gladly issue a fatwa on whoever designed the thing.


Now THAT'S funny.







(see I do have a sense of humor.)
post #27 of 30
Thread Starter 
When SkiMangoJazz speaks . . . I LISTEN!

The word is out - SWEDES ARE FAIR GAME!
post #28 of 30
No, just consumer technology designers.
post #29 of 30
Watch it, some Norwegian folk may join in and the Swedes may be fighting a war with two front lines.

Norsk have long memories. I married one. :

They still consider them ......... "The Evil Empire" ..
post #30 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by SkiMangoJazz View Post
If you were Muslim you'd agree.

Racial/ethnic/religious generalisations are sooooo cool!

















oh, wait - :
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