New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

You can't fix stupid!

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
You can't fix stupid!!



Eighth Place ~ In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.
The grating was probably made at the East Jordan Iron Works.

> >
Seventh Place ~ A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran," accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.
> >
Sixth Place ~ While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
> >
Fifth Place ~ Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
> >
Fourth Place ~ Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.

Third Place ~ After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up, and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.
> >
HONORABLE MENTION ~ Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M. So they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice the window was closed.
> >
RUNNER UP ~ Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay near by. They secured one end around Bingham's leg and the tied the other to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.
>>
AND THE WINNER IS ~ ... Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn , Germany ) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves... "Sh!t happens"
post #2 of 12
A few Darwin Award candidates or winners?
post #3 of 12
Making fun of the intellectually challenged is mean-spirited.

These poor people died. Have you no compassion??
post #4 of 12
They make a great Pils in Paderborn. I've driven over an hour to buy it. back when I lived in Bavaria.: It's now become very popular throughout Germany and you could even buy it in the little town of Zerbst (eastern Germany, south of Berlin) in 2002.
post #5 of 12
Now the Runner Up honoree shouldn't count 'cause he didn't actually off himself thus removing himself from the gene pool which is the point behind the Darwin Awards!
post #6 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tag View Post
Now the Runner Up honoree shouldn't count 'cause he didn't actually off himself thus removing himself from the gene pool which is the point behind the Darwin Awards!
This paticular story has been around a long time. I happen to know the purported author of the original. In that story it happened on the Tacoma Narrows Bridge. He wrote the story as a part of an article for a magazine (I don't know which one) in which he made up several silly tales. It has been around for years being passed off as the truth.

I call him the purported author because I only have his word for it but he is an honorable person, so I completely believe his story. He's not the kind of person who would try to pass off an untruth as the truth.
post #7 of 12
**** Happens, man what I way to go
post #8 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by trekchick View Post
Third Place ~ After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up, and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.
47 shots, 23 hits. That is freaking scary. Guns don't kill people, At least not guns in the hands of people who can't aim
post #9 of 12
Gun Control is correctly defined as being able to hit your target!
post #10 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by razorslug View Post
47 shots, 23 hits. That is freaking scary. Guns don't kill people, At least not guns in the hands of people who can't aim
I'm sure there was a lot of ducking and harried shooting going on . It's a miracle no one else got hurt by all the flying lead.
post #11 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stache View Post
Gun Control is correctly defined as being able to hit your target!
Gun control is using both hands.
post #12 of 12
Thread Starter 
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Humour and Fun Stuff