or Connect
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Lutheran Viking Airlines

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 




If you are travelin soon, consider Lutran (Lutheran) Viking Air,
da no-frills airline.

You're all in da same boat on Lutran Air, whereflyin is a upliftin experience.

Dere is no First Class on any Lutran Viking Air flight.

Meals are potluck. Rows 1-6, bring rolls; 7-15, bring a salad;

16-21, a maindish, and 22-30, a dessert.

Basses and tenors please sit in da rear of da aircraft.Everyone is responsible for his or her own baggage.

All fares are by free will offering and da plane will not land 'til da budget is met.

Pay attention to your flight attendant, who will acquaint you

wit da safety features aboard dis Lutran Viking Air 599.

Okay den, listen up. I'm only gonna say dis vonce.

In da event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure,

I am frankly going to be real surprised and so vill Captain Olson,

because we fly right around two tousand feet,

so loss of cabin pressure would probably mean

da Second Coming or something of dat nature,

and I wouldn't bodder wit doze liddle masks on da rubber tubes.

You're gonna have bigger tings to worry about den dat.

Just stuff doze back up in dair little holes.

Probably da masks fell out because of turbulence,

which to be honest wit you, we're going to have quite a bit of

at two tousand feet, sort a like driving across a plowed field,

but after a while you get used to it.
In da event of a water landing, I'd say forget it.

Start saying da Lord's Prayer and just hope you get

to da part about forgive us our sins as we forgive doze

who sin against us, which some people say "trespass against us,"

which ain't right, but what can you do?
Da use of cell phones on da plane is strictly forbidden,
not because day may confuse da plane's navigation system,

which is seat of da pants all da way.

No, it's because cell phones are a pain in da wazoo,

and if Godmeant you to use a cell phone,

he would have put your mout on da sideof your head.

We start lunch right about noon and it's buffet style

Awit da coffee pot up front.

Den we'll have da hymn sing; hymnals are in daseat pocket in front of you.

Don't take yours wit you when you go

or I amgoing to be real upset and I am not kiddin!

Right now I'll say Grace:

"Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest,
And let deze gifts to us be blessed.
Fadar, Son, and Holy Ghost,
May we land in Dulut or pretty close."

Happy Landin wit da Lutran Viking Airline!

* \|/ * «» * \|/ * «» * \|/ *
post #2 of 7
By golly dat's good news. Can you post the flight schedule?
Will there be discounts for Luther League members?
post #3 of 7
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by Lostboy View Post
By golly dat's good news. Can you post the flight schedule?
Ya shure, ya betcha. Dat vud be 8:30 and 11:00 am on Sundays. Oh... vait..... dat's da schedule for venn ve go to schurch!?

Will there be discounts for Luther League members?
Again I say... ya shure, ya betcha! And the mere fact that yuuuu know dere even isss a Luter League means you iss a member of the cult... err, club.

But now I must schtopp da yappin'.... or da mods might move dis here ting over to Politics and Hot Religion! :
post #4 of 7
I'm cryin - gotta send that to my relatives from the nort country yaknow (up nere Lake in da Woods
post #5 of 7
tanks fer dem der laughs
My dad's gonna love it!
post #6 of 7
Aahhh, that would be 'hotdish', not 'maindish'
post #7 of 7
Tanks fer dat. Say, do I gitah discount if my sister's Lutran? Cuz I ain't Lutran. But shese Lutran.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Humour and Fun Stuff