Whilst on the subject of midgets.......
3 midgets at the circus get to talking one night.
Midget #1 tells the others he is sick of circus life and is heading into the Guinness Book of Records office to get his hands measured as he is sure his hands are smaller than the smallest recorded hands as per the book. If he's correct, he can earn 10 times circus money by doing the talk show circuit.
Midget #2 says he will go as well because he thinks his size 0000 feet may be the smallest in the world as well.
Midget #3 sheepishly says "Well you've all seen me in the shower, surely nobody is 'smaller' than me"
Next morning our three intrepid midgets head to the office.
Midget #1 enters the office and emerges an hour later, his face beaming with pride "I did it, smallest hands in the world"
Midget #2 goes in, emerging an hour later similarly chuffed "Yep, smallest feet in the world"
Midget #3 enters the office and emerges an hour later, long faced and very solemn. Immediately his colleagues realize he has not 'measured up'. He slowly walks over to his friends and says "Who the hell is Jer ???"