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They Walk Among Us!

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
I walked into a Quizno's with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a sandwich. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free". "They're already buy-one-get-one-free", she said, "so I guess they're both free". She handed me my free sandwiches and I walked out the door.

They walk among us, and many work retail.

===================

One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one of them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and said, "Where?"

And they walk among us!

====================

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."

They walk among us!!

====================

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."

They walk among us!

====================

My sister-in-law has a life-saving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.

They walk among us!


====================

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"

Yes, they walk among us!

====================

While waiting for my order at a pizza parlor, I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding: "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."

Yep, they walk among us!

====================
And....... they reproduce!"
post #2 of 17
Here's your sign.
post #3 of 17
2 cents worth. True Story

In a drugstore in the Los Angeles area I had a bill of $1.82. I handed the young lady (blond valley girl type) behind the counter Two crisp one dollar bills. She punched it into the machine and hit the change button. Up pops 18 cents on the machine.

Not wanting a bunch of change in my pocket I said, "I have the two cents." I reached into my coin purse and handed her two round Lincolns.

She looked at the 18 cents on the machine, looked at the 2 cents in her hand, looked back at the machine in total bewilderment. : As she looked at me I said, "That will be 20 cents change." (I know this higher math stuff like change is right up there with differential equations. : )

She continued to look befuddled at the 18 cents on the machine and 2 cents in her hand. : So I said, "That's two dimes."

She handed me two dimes. I swear that to this day she probably thinks I cheated her out of 2 cents.

Here's your sign.
post #4 of 17
Yesterday's trivia for 10% off at the coffee shop:

How many 3-cent stamps to the dozen?








Yes, someone said 4.
post #5 of 17
Just the other day I had another "changing" experience.

Had a fairly obnoxious waiter. You know the type, always asking how things are, etc., etc. Anyway the bill was $8.41. I handed him a $20. He took his time making change on an empty table behind me. (That should have been a big hint.)

He gets done and comes back to my table. He smiles and counts out 8 dollars and some odd cents as change. Huh! : I look at him, do the figuring in my head and say, "The change should be $11.59."

He gets this astonished look on his face and is all apologetic. Takes the change back and proceeds to make new change.

This time he hands me eleven eighty something. !!!!! : : I was just too shocked to do anything. The guy couldn't even count change!!! So I pocketed the change and left enough of a tip to square him when he cashed out.

Please, please, please, say it isn't me and change. :
post #6 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by T-Square View Post
2 cents worth. True Story

In a drugstore in the Los Angeles area I had a bill of $1.82. I handed the young lady (blond valley girl type) behind the counter Two crisp one dollar bills. She punched it into the machine and hit the change button. Up pops 18 cents on the machine.

Not wanting a bunch of change in my pocket I said, "I have the two cents." I reached into my coin purse and handed her two round Lincolns.

She looked at the 18 cents on the machine, looked at the 2 cents in her hand, looked back at the machine in total bewilderment. : As she looked at me I said, "That will be 20 cents change." (I know this higher math stuff like change is right up there with differential equations. : )

She continued to look befuddled at the 18 cents on the machine and 2 cents in her hand. : So I said, "That's two dimes."

She handed me two dimes. I swear that to this day she probably thinks I cheated her out of 2 cents.

Here's your sign.
Idiots in all countries, don't feel too bad.

Very often here in Japan, I'll give the extra change over the bill to clean my pocket of coins. As you all do. (Although, I believe it is not the norm over here.) Very often, however, the clerks look at me like I'm the moron; "No. It's only X yen." Only after I insist on them taking the extra change and punching it into the register, do they realize it was a plan. Then they are blown away I had the capacity to do the math.

Honestly, this occurs so often that I am convinced the locals don't balance out their pocket change. But I live in the sticks.

We walk among them.
post #7 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by T-Square View Post
2 cents worth. True Story

In a drugstore in the Los Angeles area I had a bill of $1.82. I handed the young lady (blond valley girl type) behind the counter Two crisp one dollar bills. She punched it into the machine and hit the change button. Up pops 18 cents on the machine.

Not wanting a bunch of change in my pocket I said, "I have the two cents." I reached into my coin purse and handed her two round Lincolns.

She looked at the 18 cents on the machine, looked at the 2 cents in her hand, looked back at the machine in total bewilderment. : As she looked at me I said, "That will be 20 cents change." (I know this higher math stuff like change is right up there with differential equations. : )

She continued to look befuddled at the 18 cents on the machine and 2 cents in her hand. : So I said, "That's two dimes."

She handed me two dimes. I swear that to this day she probably thinks I cheated her out of 2 cents.

Here's your sign.
So why DID you cheat her out of 2 cents, you creep. What a nasty person.
post #8 of 17
I was eating in a chain restaurant when the computers crashed. Going back to the old (manual) way of sending orders to the kitchen worked fine -- the problem was adding up the bills. After about an hour of "creative" totals they gave up and closed early.
post #9 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by weems View Post
So why DID you cheat her out of 2 cents, you creep. What a nasty person.
weems, I'm just a cheap SOB aren't I.
post #10 of 17
Thread Starter 

Be Careful Out There!

IDIOT SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two..'

We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change..

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

IDIOT SIGHTING :
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

From Kingman , KS .

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE :
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.
From Kansas City


IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' T o which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded,
'That's why we ask.'

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.


IDIOT SIGHTING :
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS


IDIOT SIGHTING :
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.


IDIOT SIGHTING :
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheri ffs office, no less.


IDIOT SIGHTING

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.'

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS


STAY ALERT!

They walk among us... And the scary part is that they VOTE and they REPRODUCE
post #11 of 17
Burger King has taken to do mass cookings of the burgers and then just zapping them in the microwave. There is nothing I hate more than a soggy mess that the micro makes of them ..... (only the Brits could screw up yer' basic Americun burger) ...



So ..... I sezz to the girl at the counter .... "two cheeseburgers and don't microwave them"

She sezz ...... "We can't do that"

Why not? I'm asking you not to do something ... not do something extra ....right

She sezz ...... "Sir can you pull your car over to the side? .... "

Out comes ..... The Manager .... all stern and serious like ....

"Sir, I have to inform you that if we don't micro-wave the hamburgers they won't be as hot"

So I sezz .... "I'll assume all responsibility for eating a warm burger that hasn't been rendered into a soggy lump"

I wanted to say ...... Well no shizz there Sherlock Holmes

After three times getting warned that the won't be a hot .... he brought them out to the car but before he handed over the bag he issued a final warning!



Normally, I would have just pulled out but I wanted to see how far this would play out.

post #12 of 17
Thread Starter 

So....you want it your way?

post #13 of 17
I once paid for a sub $10 item with a ten dollar note. I get distracted waiting for the retard to figure out my change. Next thing I know I am being handed 4 $20s a $10 and whatever the rest was. I left in a hurry, hopefully she got fired or had to pay up.
post #14 of 17
Was that the proper thing to do?

E T H I C S

or

M O R A L S

?

post #15 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alpinord View Post
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
Makes sense to me... On the freeway going up to Stowe there is a deer crossing sign. A few miles later, there is (IIRC) a Moose crossing sign. Then later, a Bear crossing sign. I want to know how they get the different animals to use the different crossings?

Hey wait a minute... isn't that discriminatory?
post #16 of 17
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mdf View Post
Makes sense to me... On the freeway going up to Stowe there is a deer crossing sign. A few miles later, there is (IIRC) a Moose crossing sign. Then later, a Bear crossing sign. I want to know how they get the different animals to use the different crossings?
Well DUH!.......navigation systems....plus they can read signs and maps!

(Same question for when historic migration corridors get moved to appease developments..... )
post #17 of 17
That's why they put the pictures on them.





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