EpicSki › The Barking Bear Forums › Off-Season Sports & The Lighter Side › Humour and Fun Stuff › OK men, BBQ season-Here are the FACTS
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OK men, BBQ season-Here are the FACTS

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 
After four long months of cold and winter, we are finally up to spring and BBQ season. Therefore, it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this outdoor cooking ritual, as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.



When a man volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chain of events are put into motion:



Routine:


1. The woman buys the food.


2. The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.


3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along
with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who
is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.



Here comes the important part:









4. THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.








More routine:



5. The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.




6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He
thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.






Important again:








7. THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.







More routine:






8. The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.




9. After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.






And most important of all:









10. Everyone PRAISES THE MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.






11. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off" and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.
post #2 of 13
12. Man gets nothing that night and wonders why since he did such hard work preparing the meal.
post #3 of 13
That's our house, but it's usually raining when the grill is on.
post #4 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by T-Square View Post
12. Man gets nothing that night and wonders why since he did such hard work preparing the meal.
I come to grill steaks, not to braise them.
The beer a man drinks repeats after him;
The gravy is oft disposed with the bones;
So let it be with Caesar. The noble Bonni
hath told you salad was delicious
post #5 of 13
Comprex, you're one wEird customer!
post #6 of 13
If that's what you call BBQ, you haven't a clue.

Real BBQ is prepping (very large pieces) meat days in advance and then waking up at 4:00AM to start cooking. Then cooking while drinking beer for 12-16 hours. Then eating. That's BBQ. If it's already light out when you start cooking, it's not BBQ.
post #7 of 13

Act 1 scene 2

I am glad that my weak words
Have struck but thus much show of fire from l2t.
post #8 of 13
Wife today .... went shoppng, cut salad veggies, did asparagus, taters and the like as well as setting the table.

Me ... slam five steaks on the grill and wait ten minutes. Serve.

Inlaws thank me for cooking.

Wife gets steamed ..... I had to show them this post.
post #9 of 13
I'm sorry, but what was wrong with the original post??
post #10 of 13

Honey, while you're up......

......would you please bring me another beer?

(didn't see that line in there somewhere.... )
post #11 of 13
I keep a small cooler next to the grill. Keeps the workload down; least I can do?

post #12 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yuki View Post
I keep a small cooler next to the grill. Keeps the workload down; least I can do?

...what's this.....an open container while operating a lit grill!!!!!????? You in a heep o trouble!!!!
post #13 of 13
Amateurs :

I burned the steak and chicken enough over the years, that my wife does all the cooking including the BBQ. My responsibility is to turn gas on, hit the electric igniter, wait for the poof sound indicating the grill is lit, drink beer, and watch the Yankees get beat by the SOX. Oh yeah I also have to replace the gas tank when its empty.

My wife gets the credit for a great meal cooked and everyone is happy. Well some of us are happy. My wife likes the Yankees and I like the Red Sox.
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EpicSki › The Barking Bear Forums › Off-Season Sports & The Lighter Side › Humour and Fun Stuff › OK men, BBQ season-Here are the FACTS