or Connect
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

God Made Woman First

post #1 of 2
Thread Starter 
It is little known, but God made woman first. He put her into the Garden of Eden with all the animals and allowed her to make herself at home. After a few weeks he came down from Heaven to see how things were going.

"Eve, how are you doing my child?"

"Well Lord," said Eve, "things are going well. But, I hate to mention it, there is this one problem."

"Don't be afraid, my dear, tell me what your problem is." said God.

"Its sort of personal, its my breasts." she said quietly.

"What about your breasts?"

"There is one too many. Three breasts just don't work right. The center one pushes the other two out. Then the outer two get in the way of my arms. I can't reach anything well in front of me. And things aren't balanced. You gave me two of everything else, legs, arms, ears, eyes, why not just two breasts?"

"Well child, I gave most of the animals six breasts and I thought that half that amount would be best for you. But, if you like it would be no problem to remove one."

So God reached down and with a soft and supple motion gently removed the offending center breast and tossed it into the surrounding woods. After that he left Eve to enjoy the beauties of the garden.

A few weeks later, God came back to check up on Eve.

"Well Eve, how are things today."

"Oh Lord, thank you so much. I can get around so much better now without that extra breast. It's wonderful!"

"Good." said God, "I'm glad you are so happy now."

"But Lord," said Eve. "There is something else you could do for me."

"And what would that be my dear?"

"Well Lord, I'm a bit lonely. I look around and I see that you gave the ewe the ram, the cow the bull, the lioness the lion. All the other creatures in the garden have mates. Could you make a mate for me, please?"

"Well my dear child, that really is quite simple. But, I'll need a bit of your flesh to do it. Now, just where did I put that useless boob?"
post #2 of 2
The way I heard it, on the 7th day God rested. Then he made woman, and nobody's ever rested since.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Humour and Fun Stuff