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how to prepare for the ski season

post #1 of 2
Thread Starter 
This is to remind skiers how to prepare for the ski season and to
remind non-skiers why they do not ski.

10. Visit your local butcher and pay $30 to sit in the walk-in
freezer for half an hour. Afterwards, burn two $50 dollar bills
to warm up.

9. Go to the nearest hockey rink and walk across the ice 20 times
in your ski boots carrying two pairs of skis, accessory bag and
poles. Pretend you are looking for your car.

8. For ski boot simulation at home, put a pebble in your street
shoes and tighten a C-clamp around your toes.

7. Buy a pair of gloves and immediately throw one away.

6. Go to McDonald's and insist on paying $6.50 for a hamburger.
Be sure to wait in the longest line.

5. Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a
motorcycle fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face.

4. Drive slowly for five hours - anywhere - as long as it's in a
snowstorm and you're following an 18 wheeler.

3. Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the
spray blast your face. You'd almost believe you're skiing in
front of a snow maker!

2. Dress up in as many clothes as you can and then proceed to
take them off because you have to go to the bathroom.

1. Repeat all of the above every Saturday and Sunday
post #2 of 2
You forgot :

Drive to an isolated area. Park your car and leave the lights on long enough to drain the battery then return to the car soaked to the skin having lost your keys after leaving them in an open pocket.
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