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What would Jesus ski?

post #1 of 71
Thread Starter 
What would he ski? Since that thread on flat skis, Phil got me to thinking and that ain't always a good thing to do.

My guess would be Stockli or Lacroix; proof that skiing was Christian in origin. The cross on those skis ain't fer' nutthin.

Skier Cross is an abstract bastardized version, kind of like Martin Luther ..

There is only one true path!
post #2 of 71
A phat, true, burnin', LUV ! Obviously.
post #3 of 71
An RX, which is the Chi and Rho written from right to left, Aramaic style.
post #4 of 71
I think he would ski tele... You know.."Free the heel, free the soul".

Since he is a carpenter, it would be something with a wood core. He might take out the old mans skis..."Snoop Daddys"
post #5 of 71
Couldn't he walk on water? So I'm thinking he'd be a water skier.
post #6 of 71
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ski Diva View Post
Couldn't he walk on water? So I'm thinking he'd be a water skier.
All snow is..is frozen water. Turning water to snow must be a lot easier than turning it to wine.
post #7 of 71
Quote:
Originally Posted by Philpug View Post
I think he would ski tele... You know.."Free the heel, free the soul".

Since he is a carpenter, it would be something with a wood core. He might take out the old mans skis..."Snoop Daddys"
I told you guys Phil was always right.
post #8 of 71
Thread Starter 
Phil is spot on! Biblical pundits have long argued that the "transubstantiaion" was turning rain to snow; not water to whine.
post #9 of 71
Thread Starter 
It can also be argued that The Ascension, as described in Mark 16:19 from the base of Mount Olivet was actually metaphor for catching the first chair!
post #10 of 71
Salomon Crossmax skis.
post #11 of 71
Stockli Laser Cross Pro. The surest way to heaven that I know of...
post #12 of 71
Thread Starter 
Fox, I think that Solomons were discounted.

This was clear in Phil's Epistle to the Harbites.
post #13 of 71
Jesus would definetly be sking Heavenly Skis in a 195cm with a 130/84/112 sidecut with a milky sweet p-tex base setup with the new marker celestial binding set at a 18 din with powder cord's made from angel hair ,not that he would fall but once he hits that powder made of cloud it would be snorkel deep.
post #14 of 71
Of Course if He turned snow to wine, you have a rather unpretentious slurpy Merlot with a nice fruity after taste.
post #15 of 71
post #16 of 71
I don't know what he'd ski, but he'd be 'old school' for sure.
post #17 of 71
Jesus: C'mon guys, one more run?
Judist: We always ski Heaven Gate, can't we ski something else?

-and-
(over heard at Mad River Glen)
Jesus: Only through me shall ye enter Paradise
post #18 of 71
There are no apostles on powder days.
post #19 of 71
I would've thought a pair of "Bros" - you know, we're all brothers and stuff
post #20 of 71
Perhaps he'd be on a pair of Missions.
post #21 of 71
What if he was a boarder'?
post #22 of 71
That's very easy, He would make His own, He was a carpenter.

Jesus-Extreme Steez JC2007 all mountain peacemakers 180cm
post #23 of 71
So, where can I get my W.W.J.S bracelet?
post #24 of 71
I suspect he'd ski SuperShapes, since that's what his father skis and teaches on, and all his disciples buy.
(OK, maybe I'm getting them mixed up here - is God omniscient, omnipotent, infallible and deserving of worship, while showing wrath to those who despise him, or is Harald the one who claims that?)
post #25 of 71
He skis fat skis... and laughs at everyone that gets excited about waist deep.

Every day is a powder day in heaven... At least 10 foot deep.
post #26 of 71
I am rethinking this, I think he would ski an old garage-sale olin or K2. It is more in line with his persona. He doesn't need wide skis to float and his balance would be perfect.
post #27 of 71
Who's to say Jesus is not a Level 1?

Just because he died for our sins doesn't mean he has an innate ability to ski... Heck, just walking on water may have taken him years to learn.
post #28 of 71
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wear The Fox Hat View Post
I suspect he'd ski SuperShapes, since that's what his father skis and teaches on, and all his disciples buy.
LMAO! I knew where that was going right away.

Personally, I think he'd ski something in the Legend series.
post #29 of 71
"If man is Five
And the Devil is Six
Then God is Seven
This monkeys gone to Heaven"
-The Pixies

Elan 777.
post #30 of 71

A Miracle on the Snow

A palm branch bestowed with the miracle of instantaneous width, camber, length, stiffness as well as binding DIN adjustment meeting any condition. Additionally, the palm can also be taken upon water for fishing along with his apostles when it’s time for yet another miracle; feeding the masses.
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