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Best Overheard Comments - Page 2

post #31 of 85
Here's an 11 page thread on this topic, quite funny:

http://www.tetongravity.com/forums/s...ad.php?t=62010
post #32 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob Peters View Post
I hear this one all the time...

"It was waist-deep, man!"

Maybe on a four-year-old.
Hey today it was waist deep!!!!

video to prove it

http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...78811811084392

http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...86788900&hl=en

hijacking complete...
post #33 of 85
a hard-core bro-bra of mine just before dropping into one of the sickest lines at the wood;
"I wonder what the rich people are doing right now."

A famous world-champion extreme skier (I'll withold the name as I would hate to devalue his personality.)

"Bib # 42, You're up."
"Do I have to?"
"No."
"Well... what the hell did I wake up for then?"

My only hard-core ski partner in Japan in reference to 2000 vert of untracked;
"I can't believe you and I are the only two people here that have any desire to ski that. I'm starting to wonder if we're the insane ones."
post #34 of 85
Three or four years ago on the chair lift with my new pocket rocket wide skis - this dude with his old straight skis says, "Hey man, those skis are overkill for around here!" I explained to him that I was tired of my old skis doing a submarine under 30" of powder and I really didn't think it was fun to spend 15 minutes trying to find them.

Summer sking on Mt. Rainier's Muir Snowfield and walking back down the trail with skis: It is absolutely guaranteed that at least five people will ask, "Did you ski?" Hmm.... no I am just a crazy old fart... I am learning not to make eye contact.

Took a lunch break from skiing. One of the guys thought he would show how cool he was by ordering the quiche, to impress the ladies. Well this turned out to be an alternative form of quiche - vegetable quiche. And the foreign lunch counter worker didn't know what it was either.... pulled out some frozen veggie quiche and nuked it just enough to make the outside warm. He bit into that and just about gagged. Offering it to one of his lady friends.... he says, "I just don't like eating anything that's been dead more than once!"
post #35 of 85
A few of our patrollers were doing sweep on the easiest run on the hill one Valentine's Day,and came upon a couple who were not having a great day.It seems that the guy had convinced his girlfriend to try snowboarding,against her better judgement.She had skied all day,and then went boarding for the last run.They are exchanging "words" back and forth ,and as she walked past us she uttered the immortal line:"If you think you're getting any tonight,you're crazy!"It was all we could do to keep a straight face
post #36 of 85
I sometimes ski at a particular mountain not famous for its maintenance. Two weeks ago, the toilets crapped out, if you will. Lots off jokes about skiing the "piste on" area. Anyway, the lift attendant that day apparently was not up to the rigors of the job. As I moved into postion waiting for the chair to come around, he had his back to me, rubbing his head. As I grabbed the chair, he turned to me and said (with a fine Maine inflection), "Geez, I just got hit in the head by a chair - that'll get yer attention." I don't think it did any damage - not sure how the chair fared.
post #37 of 85
From dirt bag telemark skier to rich gaper lady in one piece Bogner. " Lady, you mean to tell me you paid over a thousand dollars, FOR THAT FART BAG!"
post #38 of 85
While doing morning check-in at ski school:

Mom: "Will the children be going to the top today?"

Me: "No. Ski Patrol is currently reporting windchills near fifty below zero at the summit, so we'll be staying very, very low on the mountain today."

Mom: "Oh. We had really hoped they would go to the top today."

Me: "Well, unfortunately fifty below is simply too dangerous."

Mom: "Well yes, that's why we're not skiing today!" :

I nearly sh!t myself when she dropped that one on me.
post #39 of 85
First Saturday in Nov and opening day at ski area 2.5 hours north of NYC. All snow is man made of course. Autumn like weather with leaves still on trees.

Non-Skier walks near the chair lift and asks liftie (with heavy NYC Bronx voice) how do they keep last year's snow from melting over the summer?
post #40 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruxpercnd View Post
Summer sking on Mt. Rainier's Muir Snowfield and walking back down the trail with skis: It is absolutely guaranteed that at least five people will ask, "Did you ski?" Hmm.... no I am just a crazy old fart... I am learning not to make eye contact.

"
You just need to go earlier in the summer so you can ski all the way back to Paradise...
post #41 of 85
This last weekend we had about 10" of heavy snow. Thought it would be fun to bring out the Big Troubles. In the lift line, the guy in the next line over(dressed head to toe in matching Spyder and skiing some ridiculously short Volkls- MAYBE 155s, despite being probably 6') says "Dynastars, eh? You some kind of terrain park twerp?"

Me: "No, just thought it would be fun to bring out some bigger boards. I hardly ski park at all."

Him: "Well that's what they're made for. Why do you think the tail is turned up?"
post #42 of 85
At Ajax:
Me: (sees friend looking at Aspen map wayy too long) What are you doing?

Buddy: I'm trying to figure out where I've been having such a good time all day.

Other Buddy: Dude, that's Snowmass, ya' dumbass!
post #43 of 85
"Damn it, the powder's too fresh!" (fer real, from the mouth of a buddy)

"Okay, I have to get off the phone now. We're getting near the top of the lift."
post #44 of 85
I was sitting on the lift with a father and his two sons. The lift was stopped, and we were watching some little kid trying to ski down the black diamond slope alone (were talking mid-atlantic slopes here). He was in a sloooooow snow plow. The two kids on the lift with me start talking:

Kid #1: If I were to ski a black diamond, I would just go really fast down it, not slow like that.
Kid #2: But you can't ski black diamonds
Kid #1: Well, if I were to ski a black diamond, I would ski it fast.
Kid #2: But you can't ski black diamonds
Kid #1: If I were to I would
Kid #2: But you can't
Kid #1: (frustrated) WHAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND ABOUT IF I *WERE* TO.
post #45 of 85
"that's uphill, so it must be North."
post #46 of 85
Some fat gaper from MA: "Now anyone can ski steep powder because they have fat skis", "I have a friend who's a ski instructor at Killington and he says that in five years everyone will be skiing 155's", "These skis (the ultra short AC-3s he was skiing) are almost too easy to ski". At the top the fat EC gaper self-destructed on the off-ramp. What a fat gaper.
post #47 of 85

From Vail on Saturday...

I rolled up to the top of the Highline bump run, and was picking a line when a guy skis up on my right and asks, "How can you ski bumps in those?" referring to my Fischer RC4 SL's. Before I could even answer him, another guy skis up in 215 straight K2's and zipperlines it. I just laughed and followed the old school guy down (not in a z-line). When I got to the bottom, I looked up and the other guy was still at the top looking down...
post #48 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snowsport View Post
"that's uphill, so it must be North."
Brillant! When we were young we walked to school in 2 feet of Snow and it was uphill both ways.:
post #49 of 85
I had just moved to Salt Lake City coming from New Jersey, and was skiing at Snowbird at the Gad two lift on a day you dream about in the east,when I heard a young local boy
proudly say to his father. Dad did you see me ski all that ice. He was talking about a groomed area near the bottom of the lift. I laughted so hard I had tears in my eyes.
post #50 of 85
I was at Killy last year when I saw perhaps the funniest thing I have ever seen. A group of rougly ten persons aged 30 to 60 all were on Atomic Race 7's, yes the kid ski that is like 90cm in length. Well as soon as I saw this I skated as fast as possible to catch up with them, as I crested the hill the most glorious sight came into view all ten were standing on top of a short headwall talking about what line they were going to take. Cue the first person droping some easy black run making no less than one billion turns per every two feet traveled while her comrads cheered her on. Well sure enough by the fourth person employees had come out of the peak lodge and were cheering them on. All ten of them skied like this, I can only imagine how long it takes someone to get down when you are making thousands and thousands of turns per hundred feet. The last guy to drop looked at me and said "oh yeah we rip" right before he very slowly moved away. To this day I still have no idea what they were doing.
post #51 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by slider View Post
Brillant! When we were young we walked to school in 2 feet of Snow and it was uphill both ways.:
....with hot rocks in your pockets and newspapers for shoes, right?
post #52 of 85
circa 1989, I was teaching a class at Breck, on one of those days when the high temp never got about about -10*F. Second run of the morning, probably still, -20*, and the woman in my class who's sitting next to me on E chair says, "You get cold?"
:
After the "WTF" look went away from my face, I paused the shivering enough to explain to her that I'm a ski instructor, not a polar bear.
post #53 of 85
"Sh!t!"
-A woman on the Snowdon Triple at Killington.

I look up and see a small object falling from the lift, it was her phone.
post #54 of 85

From my five year old daughter

"Ooooohhhhh Daddy. The forest is so beautiful! Are there any bears out there?"


"Daddy. This is my favorite trail! See how the little trees (tall grass) is growing out of the snow? It's like decorations!"
post #55 of 85

Poles

On the lift yesterday, man in his sixties skiing without poles. My buddy asked him why - " Poles are just a bad habit, like picking your nose in public!" (turned out he had two serious injuries due to pole plants while falling and gave up using them completely 7 years ago)
post #56 of 85
Stratton, VT on the damn gondola. Older (wealthy, snooty) lady about how well the mountain takes care of snowmaking/grooming.

"They've been blowing loads."

After she had just said:

"I hate this place."
post #57 of 85
03/01/2007

HIM-where ya from
Me-Hyde Park about an hr away
HIM-New Hyde park Loooonged island 2.5 hrs away
Me-hows it goin
Him-leg are beat first time out
Me-Why only first time
Him-No snow ,they must have just opened
Me-No, we opened 3rd week of November
post #58 of 85
Last week a guy asked me "how far up does the summet chair go?"

Wish I had a sign.

RW
post #59 of 85
Bro-gaper: "Are you a pro?"
Me: "Heck yeah - a pro gaper assasssin!"

Stoned Bro-gaper: "Hey, dude, do you party? Do you get high?"
Me: "Yeah, but not on my own time - just for my job"
Stoned Bro-gaper: "Whoa, dude! What kinda job ya got?!"
Me: "I'm an undercover Narcotics Officer for the Salt Lake County PD"
post #60 of 85
"Single" at mad river.
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